Relaxation

The hot summer air is filled with dust. The sun beats on my neck and arms. I feel the sweat going down my back. I take a deep breath. I look at my hands. They are starting to show my age. They have a few more lines being accented by the dirt. I see the dirt embedded into those lines. Muddy sweat slowly flows down my arm. The wind brings the dust from the dried grass, into the air, and then onto whatever is in its path. Not only do my hands get dirty from air but also with my passion to relax.

Many people will never understand my passion. Many people will never understand how the wind throwing thick dust in their face is ever part of relaxation. Only a few people know how to enjoy the sun making your skin into leather a little bit more with each day can fit into relaxation. To me, this is all part of it. My “happy place” is right here.

I had been outside completing my chores. Some things just needed to be done. I did not mind getting up early every morning. I had been working hard for many years. Now the time had come for me to be able to work for myself. If I did not start my days at first light I would never have enough time to finish everything that needed to be done.

I still had a picture similar to one I imagined that could be taken right now of myself. My Nanny grew up in a different time and in a different place from where I was now. She grew up quickly from a young age. She was married by 16. She and my Papa were married for over 60 years. They both grew up in a place where the wind swept across the plain’s thick prairie grass. When you looked out you only saw more grass. She had taught me how to embrace life. She was a mother, teacher, business woman, rancher, and wife. She also loved animals. She had horses, rabbits, cows, cats, and dogs. She also had many personal hobbies. She did stain glass creations, riding horses, quilting, and photography. I loved learning each new skill from her. She had such a passion! I still do not know which passion was her favorite. She might have never had a true favorite. She really was a life long learner.

Not only had she taught me, her granddaughter, but also her son, my dad. He instilled hard work into my very core. I did grow up learning from him. I helped him build fences, I brush hogged, changed oil on trucks and cars, and even put roofs on barns and houses. I helped feed hogs, cows, and horses. I had learned the to curry brush horses and groom dogs. I had shoveled concrete, snow and mud. Yes, he taught me hard work. However, he also taught me passion. He taught me that if you truly love something you push for it! He knew I could work hard. I do not think he really had confidence that I would ever want to work hard enough to achieve my dreams. Parents hope you do but they don’t ever really know.

These two people meant a lot to me. However, I had to find out who I was on my own. I joined the military right after high school. I thought about going to college after high school but wanted adventure! The military taught me a lot. I worked 14 hour days, I became an expert marksman, and did a bit of traveling. The travel wasn’t what I fully expected. My travel was to the desert. It was hot over there. I constantly had sand in my boots and grit in my hair. I even learned how to change tires on HMMWV or Humvee. We had a crazy sand storm or two. Days went by where all I saw was dust. I finally got home. I had scars on the outside and on the inside. I had seen things that still make me angry. This was not the life for me. I moved on.

After the military, I decided I would finally travel on my terms. I was able to travel to the beach. I lived there for a bit. The ocean was beautiful and the beer was good but it never gave me the peace I needed. I traveled North and found true cold. I loved the woods. I didn’t know if I could find peace where it was never warm. Next I traveled to the mountains. The crisp, cold air chilled me as I inhaled through my nose during the winter months. Hearing the crunch of snow under my boots relaxed my mind. Then there was summer. The air was dry and the sun was warm. The summers in the mountains let my bones warm from the ice cold winters. I loved being up in the trees! I could smell the perfume of the pine trees in the heat. It cleared my head so much more than the ocean had. My brain needed that first step towards relaxation.

Once I realized I had found my home and the first step towards relaxation, I began creating. I knew I needed to be smart with how I advanced. I had an idea of what I wanted or needed. I bought a small cabin with a few acres.I started to build the fences. Every morning I would wake up early to start my day; just like I had been taught so many years before. I found my rhythm. The early mornings weren’t just about being awake. The early mornings were for breathing and relaxing. I started searching my mind for a reason to be awake in those early morning hours.

I began adding to my new life. I even found a mate who also desired for peace. He knew how to work hard too. We built up our own little world. This world created a peace in our minds. As time went on, we added. First, we bought a couple of goats. Next a chicken coop with a few chickens. Then we added Betty and Bucko, two good mules.

As I thought of our two mules I was brought back to reality. It was so amazing how my mind just relaxed and wandered. I realized how much my dad and Nanny had taught me. They taught me how to work for what I wanted in life. My true relaxation was right here. I could smell the clean mountain air, yes, but mixed in was the smell of our good mules. That was my true relaxation. This smell and the feeling of working with them was the final piece. As I had been thinking back, I had been standing under the “hot” mountain sun and brushing my good mule, Betty. She worked hard too and deserved relaxation as well. I loved taking care of her. I brushed her everyday. I loved it! Horse smell was something that I found was something that made me feel happy. My new hobby was taking care of her. I cleaned her hooves, kept her mane clean, and made sure she was clean. I muck out her and Bucko’s stall every day. Some days I would even just go hang out with them and read a book. I had found my place and what I needed. I had found my relaxation.

Peace .