Post-Traumatic Growth

Mental health and well-being are terms I knew but didn’t fully embrace until my own mental health was impacted. With hindsight, I realize now that my wake-up call came as early as 2016. Instead of becoming aware and heeding the signals, I continued to carry on and muddle my way through to the point that I hit the wall’-or rather, I went through the wall four years later in 2020. I had all the signs of severe burnout: physical and mental exhaustion, insomnia, brain fog, feelings of emptiness, and little to no motivation.

This led me to quit my job at the time to recover, only to have the rug pulled out from me four months later — my husband wanted a divorce.

For the next two years, I experienced what felt like hitting rock bottom on repeat, while still dealing with my unhealed burnout and other traumas from my past, which had come back to haunt me at my darkest hour.

Unfortunately, I had a limited support network in a country that was not my home, and I struggled with where and how to start healing. However, unlike in 2016, I was aware this time, and so I vowed not to ignore the signs I couldn’t and wouldn’t, especially as my children needed a functioning mom. Unlike in the past, I made a conscious decision to not numb all the pain. It wasn’t easy, but I kept recalling one of the best pieces of advice I received at the time: the only way you can get to the other side is to go through it.

To process and heal from my traumas, I sought help wherever I could find it, leaning on my strong support network in my home country, talk therapy, journaling, breathwork, meditation, reading, exercise, and more. For months it was trial and error to figure out what worked best for me. During this time, I was fortunate enough to be offered a job. This provided me much-needed stability and forced me to wake up every day and make an effort. Some days, physically showing up was all I could do.

As I continued to show up physically every day, I slowly started to show up emotionally and mentally as well. In time, I was able to do the tough but rewarding work to process, heal, and grow from these traumas. I later learned that this transformation is post-traumatic growth. Sadly, many that have endured a traumatic experience have been conditioned to just carry on, not knowing that healing is waiting for them on the other side. For too many, as it did for me, this leads to suffering and a life not fully lived.

While I cannot tell anyone the steps to follow to achieve a fuller life, I can say that the first steps for me were to be aware, to reflect, to practice gratitude, to share my stories with others, to journal, to set boundaries, and to find tools and communities to help support me. Additionally, being part of a psychologically safe, healthy, and supportive working environment since October 2022 has allowed me to be authentic here too and to share a part of my story with the intention of bringing value to others. My post-traumatic growth journey continues.