Pay it Back, Pay it Forward

Twenty thousand dollars is so much, and yet so little. With a minimum wage job here in Texas, it would take a little over 2,797 hours of work to make that much money, excluding taxes. And yet, it also can pay this month's mortgage, or take you on that vacation you’ve been promising your kids for years. Or pay off some student debt. It can go a long way to say the least. But the price of life, the amount it takes to raise a child, doesn’t hold a candle to twenty thousand dollars. According to USDA.gov, families are projected to spend an average of 233,610 on a child from infancy to age eighteen. And if you factor in college, you’re looking at at least one hundred thousand more. So, with this in mind. Is twenty grand all that much? It is. Of course it is. But I want it to actually feel that way. I want to feel the impact that 20,000 can have on a community. With that in mind, let’s focus on the community that impacted me - everyone that I would consider family.

I would start by giving ten thousand to my mother. That’s an easy one. She literally wiped my ass, put clothes on my back, and held my chin up for the last eighteen years. All the while she was being beaten and belittled, she prioritized my sister and I’s future. I think that’s worth at least ten grand. She’ll probably invest two grand of it in the family college prep business, 3 grand for my little brothers college fund, and 5 grand toward my UCLA bills. Next up is my sister. She’s almost twenty one, recently moved out, and in desperate need of money. I would invest two thousand in her music business. If I give her anything just for herself she’ll probably spend it on Peruvian weave bundles for her next album cover. Can’t really blame her though. That leaves eight thousand. Well, my favorite grandmother has stage four pancreatic cancer, and eight thousand dollars isn’t gonna save her. But maybe if I gave her three thousand, she could divide it among her loved ones, and feel a little less helpless. Or maybe it’ll cover another round of chemo. But in all honesty, I am sure that won’t help as much as I want it to.

Last and probably least, I suppose I will keep the last five thousand. My student debt is racking up and I am only in my first year of college. When I should’ve been enjoying the UCLA freshman experience, I instead partook in Zoom university due to the coronavirus pandemic. Within that time, I have accumulated over thirty-five grand in debt due to out of state tuition cost. I suppose I could use the five thousand towards that sum, in order to decrease it by even a small amount. But as I write this in my little black book, I question if the five grand could go somewhere a little less obvious. Honestly, now that I am thinking about it… I think I would start a bank account exclusively for artistic expenses. I have spent much of this year writing on how I would like to be an EGOT, an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony award winning artist. And in my pursuit of that, I will need to accumulate funding for my own projects, so that when I am ready to tell my story, I can do so in the most idealistic way possible. This twenty thousand dollars would be a great way to start that process, but first I feel I must pay back those who have allowed me to be successful until this point. They supported me, so I will support them. Ideally, this money will just be a starting point for more money to come. Eventually, I won’t just repay my family, but the family of others who just need a little support. I believe this behavior will lead to greater self expression and opportunity for other students who have been artistically limited because they are financially limited. With this mindset, it is my goal to create an uplifting, generous community of artistic individuals looking to support each other as they tell their story.