Not Sure if You Should be an Au Pair?

First Things First. 

Before thinking about becoming an au pair, make sure you know all the rules and responsibilities the job imposes.

I was an au pair in the United Sates for 2 years. I had both successful and unsuccessful matches and will share my thoughts.

Make sure you reflect and answer the following questions as honest as you can. There aren't rules; they're only my perspective because sometimes we don't realise how serious this job is. It's a wonderful experience, but one with many responsibilities.

• Do you like children?
• Are you willing to change your life completely to live in a new country and follow your new families' rules?
• Are you aware you won't be able to party all the time or travel whenever you wish?
• Are you aware you are responsible for children for at least 40 hours a week?
• What is your level of English? Even if you pass the agency test but cannot really understand the family well, reconsider improving your skills slightly before your travels.

If you are still uncertain after answering the questions above, take your time to rethink, work on your mindset, skills, anything that might help you with your journey as an au pair.

Let me tell you a bit about my experience and how it all started.

Experience With Children

I was 22 years old when I went to the US for my first year as an au pair in 2006. I had finished University back home in Brazil, and for a whole year I couldn't find a job because most companies prefer candidates with an 'abroad experience'. I was willing to see if it would help me, so I started searching online and found an au pair programme.

After learning the requirements, I realised I needed to pass an English test and have at least 250 hours of experience (I think that was the amount). Family experiences, such as watching over siblings or cousins, were accepted, but these would be considered as a plus; you must have had time spent with children as well.

I volunteered at a daycare centre not far from my house, and I used to go every day from 7 am until 6 pm. I took it as a full-time job, and I have to tell you, I loved it. They divided the classes by age, so I stayed with different ages from 2 - 6 years old. I enjoyed it very much and was keen to be around toddlers as they are a bit more demanding. Still, sometimes I would go with the older children to have different interactions and conversations.

It was a rewarding experience to me and helped me learn a lot about children, change diapers, playtime, and realise I indeed loved children, which I believe is essential if you want to become an au pair. Make sure you enjoy being around them and know how to take care of and play with them.

My Life in North Carolina

Before arriving at your final destination, you go through training in New York City, where you meet other au pairs. After that, we can finally meet our families. I arrived at the airport and could see from far away the whole family holding a giant sign the boys had prepared; I kept it until today. I was now responsible for 3 boys, and from that day, my life changed completely. It was a new country, food, culture, clothing, habits, routine, everything was entirely new for me. Needless to say, I gained 20 kgs but discovered the beauty of chocolate chips pancakes, my favourite breakfast ever since 2006.

My family was absolutely fantastic in all aspects. They made me feel part of their entire family, always treated me with respect and followed the rules and schedule very strictly, which was perfect for me. Your life will change; you will adapt eventually, make friends and experience the American way of life. The boys were precious, so loving, energetic, caring, playful; I had tons of fun and learned lots of English with the older one (he was 7, and the twins were 4 at the time). I couldn't have chosen a better family for me.

I've always been quiet, never liked parties, so that wasn't an issue to me. I knew a few au pairs and heard many stories of families being upset because their au pair went partying too much and wasn't fit the next day to watch the children. Make sure you settle all rules and understand the families' needs before you travel when you have the chance to speak to them on the phone. This also goes for travelling because we have some days to travel, but you must talk to your family if they let you take 2 weeks in a role, for instance.

Rules Are Made to be Followed

As much as you need to follow the rules, the families need to as well. Remember, I was there in 2006, so I'm not sure how much the rules have changed, if at all. You must work no more than 40 hours a week, have one entire weekend off per month and 2 days off a week. If you don't believe you are being treated fairly, speak to your family or your local coordinator.

As an au pair, you had to attend the monthly au pair meetings scheduled by your local coordinator. There you can share your experiences, any issues you might have, and it's also enjoyable. We went to NBA games, baseball games, corn maze and much more. 

Do you speak English?

Please, don't travel without knowing English, at an intermediate level at least. You will be taking care of the children. It's a huge responsibility, so you must understand their needs and communicate well with the family. If something happens with a child while in your care, you need to call the police or ambulance and explain the situation and give address details. Learn the language, practice at home watching films without subtitles, it helps!

One thing is watching a show on telly. When you're speaking to an American or British (depending on where you are going), they might speak too fast or have an accent you're not familiar with. Trust me, when I moved to London, I felt like I had to learn English all over again; their accent is completely different. Do your homework!

This Isn't For Me

Maybe it isn't, and that's ok. It's not an easy job or an easy transition. In my last year, I moved up north to another family, and I wish I had stayed in North Carolina. I can tell my experiences up north another time, I had to change families 3 times, and I had a horrific time and decided to go back home. Please, think carefully and get to know your family beforehand.

My Thoughts Based on My Au Pair Life

1. Make sure you have a good talk with your so-to-be family before making a final decision. Ask them about their routine, what a week there would look like for you, how the children are, their needs, your schedule. It's important to know this ahead of time.
2. All rules are important, but bonding with the family and children are also a big plus! Like a job interview, see if their personality matches yours. If you have a good feeling about the family, go with your guts.
3. If anything is bothering you in the house or any problems with the children, speak to the parents. It's crucial to have good communication with them.
4. Meet other au pairs and hang out in your free time. Watch a film, to the park, any town festival happening, travel, have some fun and meet other girls/boys from different countries.
5. Always be all eyes on the children. Accidents happened, it did to me, and one of the boys broke his leg. That's why you must be very attentive when with them; they are only kids and are in your care.

Just do it!

Even though I had not such a great time in my second year as an au pair, I still recommend you to do it. I met amazing people, travelled, had a life experience, learned another language, was responsible for 3 incredible boys in my first year (whom I'm still in contact with), and this experience completely changed me as a person. Don't hesitate, but be prepare and have a wonderful time!