No Self-Worth

She has no self worth.

Ouch. Those words are cutting.

Especially being spoken by the person you cared for and loved. Words spoken that were completely uncalled for.

At first; she froze. Then came the sting. Then came the immediate feeling of offence. A feeling of; how dare you say that to me.

For a moment; she feared that he might have actually been right. Maybe he was right if he said those words three years prior. But now? No. He was wrong. Very, very wrong.

What this man did not know was in that moment his words did not break her. His words brought to light how far she has come. So instead of shrinking into shame like she once might have; it fuelled her.

The offence she felt was the violation of her growth that had so clearly went unnoticed.

The quiet, vulnerable girl he met three years prior was no longer there. That girl he clearly felt had no self worth, was no longer there.

She’s was woman who went from a budding caterpillar to a blooming butterfly.

She loves butterflies. She loves what they represent. Butterflies signal transformation, rebirth and personal growth. She wears a butterfly around her neck to remind herself of her growth every single day.

His choice of words lit a match. She soon showed him what self worth was. Those words circled her brain for days until she finally decided, no. Times up. Game over.

She’s a wildcard.

She loves, loves, loves until she doesn’t. And when she doesn’t; she’s cold, and it’s felt. She can put up with a lot, but don’t mistake that for low self worth. She’ll love you and care about you but cross her enough times she will show you. She will show self worth.

She realised self worth isn’t something ANYONE can measure; let alone him. She realised and asked herself; what gave this man the right to make such comments when he can barely recognise his own lack.

From that day forward she made her choices differently. She stopped saying yes. She stopped shrinking herself to keep a connection alive. She started protecting her own feelings. She started protecting her own energy. She said to herself; I’m no longer breaking myself in two trying to keep you.

And the funny thing is; he won’t even remember saying such a thing. But she remembers. She remembers everything; there’s not an awful lot she forgets. She forgives easily, but she never forgets.

Here’s her dilemma now; to know that the person she loved actually viewed her in such a way to confidently call her out and tell her she has no self worth OR to know that this man has gained massively and taken advantage of her by having this view of her.

It’s worth thinking about. Her mind can go there. She can think of many ways how someone can take advantage of another person with low self worth and disguise it.

Maybe it was all just projection. A projection of his own self worth issues. Who knows; but we do know that just because he said it doesn’t mean what he said was true.