My Dream Career: Writirement

Writirement ("/rīt/"-"/ˈtī(ə)r/"-"/mənt/"): A non-career, or unconventional employment path paved by sweatpants, and earning loads of money for writing. The act of leaving one's job, and writing for income instead. Contrary to traditional retirement, this career path is designed to happen early in life.

My Passion and Purpose

I am passionate about not working. My passion of not working helped me discover my other true passion and purpose in life is to write. My first unknowing venture into writirement , was of course, not a choice. My nineteen-year-old spine had mistaken itself for a ninety-year-old spine, and I was forced to temporarily leave the work force. Truth be told, at the time, I hated it. These tragic turn of events, however, were exactly what I needed to awaken the writer inside of me. I quickly noticed that there were comedic opportunities at every turn in my journey through pain. I wrote down these discoveries inside the notes application on my phone, and would spout out the jokes to my family, or share my observations on social media. I had crafted connections between moments of despair and utter hilarity. Suddenly, the pain was transformed into laughter. It was the best feeling in the world.

Years later, after a miraculously successful private surgery, I had somehow left the life of chronic pain behind. I returned to the workforce, and realized instantly, that I was not meant to work a regular job. Of course, I needed an income to support the comfortable life I had adjusted to, and forced myself to fit into the world of forty-hour work weeks. In my transition back into the real world, I found my creative mind recognizing the same humorous connections, in every day life. I was drawn to writing more and more. I began my first blog, and finally had a place where I could produce humorous content, and get an overwhelming amount of praise (thank you, mom).

My first published article earned me fifty dollars. The sweet taste of making money doing something I loved was a revelation. I listened to the cliché career expressions, and hoped that I could one day writire. Dress for the job you want. Do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life. I embodied these mercilessly. I paraded around in lululemon's and sweatpants on my days off, and pitched articles to magazines. Somehow, it didn't work. My income on the articles I wrote was miniscule, and it by no means supported the lifestyle I had grown accustomed to. I was still working at a conventional job, and I was never promoted to "writer" based on my attire. There had to be a way to write for a living, and still eat. There had to be.

The idea of writirement came to me when I reached my ultimate misery in the working world. I was cursed with an incredible work ethic, relentless reliability, a commendable talent for tolerating doing things I hated; and it got me promoted. I had never felt less like myself. I hated working, and had less and less energy and time to write. It was time to aspire to a change. I joined Vocal in hopes to breathe life back into my writing. When the "Members-Only" challenge was launched, I knew it was time that I turn my misery into money... I mean, into... amusement.

Monetizing Writirement?

With a subscription to my blog, for five dollars a month, followers will have access to a consistent stream of my signature brand of entertaining, refreshingly ridiculous, and always honest writing. People follow me and read my stories to hear a relatable perspective, and an entertaining view on life. I tell stories of living in the Yukon, surviving a back injury at a young age, thriving with Celiac Disease, reviews (of anything and everything), self development, travels, triumphs, failures, and more. I also have been known to sprinkle in cringe-worthy puns. With a steady income from the subscribers to my blog, I can lead the way and exemplify to aspiring writers that it is possible to do what you love, and still eat. The VIP subscription would cost ten dollars a month, and allow access to a new chapter of my book, each released in sequence before the book is officially released. The VIP subscription would also allow submissions and suggestions to the "Crummy Critic" review section of the blog.

Why people should support my Writirement?

I used to think to myself that I would have to become a special type of self-absorbed to think that people would want to pay to hear what I had to say. I am excited, and ashamed to report that I have reached that special type of self-absorbed, today. It is important that people support my passion and purpose of writing (and eating), because I can be the proof that it is possible to do what you love, to other aspiring writers. I can be the living proof that we are not all meant to hate what we do for money, just to exist. Put me out of my misery, and help me quit my reliance on traditional jobs for income. Help me writire.

Why is it important that a writer wins this contest?

I have had a chance to read some of the submissions to this challenge already, and can confirm, that I am not the only writer with this dream of making money to write(DUH). This only further proves my point. Writers need to make money doing what they love, and they need to see other writers succeeding at doing the same. If I am to win, I will not only encourage the aspiring writers around me to quit their day jobs, but I will support (yes, tip!) their work on Vocal.

Pick me!

Lindsay Neal wishes to make the transition into this career path as soon as financially possible. If she is to win this contest, she will be very excited. Lindsay feels she has been in training for this position her whole life, and is beyond qualified to writire. She is currently employed as Human Resources, and if she is to win, she will have the unique experience of letting herself go. Lindsay thinks that Lindsay will take the news well. Help Lindsay win this contest by sharing, re-reading(refresh the webpage and read it again) or "tipping" her. Lindsay believes that if want to, that you too, can writire.