Memories: 30 June 2025

30 June 2025

7:30 am it’s raining….but there is a strange light extruding through the silver clouds. Time to get up and make sense out of another day!

30 June 2024

30 June 2023

Today’s Meshugass. I finally am sawing though my coin I bought back in 1986. I’ve broken 4 saw blades already. It’s not such a simple thing. But Mama T of Titania’s Realm will persist and gain mastery. Lol. (Eventually!)

30 June 2022

1:11 am make a wish! Thank you Angels for all you do for me personally and for our planet. I stand before you in humility and awe and grace. Daughter of the gods. Just wow!

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Murmurations, fleeting and whirling and changing in all four directions.

Which end is up? Who will hold my hand at the end of my life?

On which side of history will we land?

Flying, flowing, giving more than we had while seriously ill and depleted…

But never truly defeated. The way of the warrior goddess.

Lunacy amidst the luminousity. Outliving the daily atrocities. Positivity plumping itself then fading to grey. Never mind…there is always another Phoenix rising. Ain’t life grand?!

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I just had my chest X-ray at Greenslopes Private hospital. Qld X-ray. Lovely friendly kind staff unlike those two other Southside hospitals.

But having to wear a mask meant I coughed a lot and when I walked out I nearly fainted so I am sitting down gathering breath before driving home.

At least the sun is shining. It was raining this morning with more rain expected. But the gods, my sweet whimsical weird capricious and sometimes vicious ones are smiling upon me, gifting me extra light and strength.

Light and strength. That is all that is needed to push through this current illness that has gone on for far too long.

30 June 2020

Update 30 June 2025: I got rid of this hutch but today I was struck by how pretty it all looked. Oh well…I adore my stepped cabinet instead which stores my silversmithing supplies.

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Getting my hair done. Feels good.

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11:11 pm my angels are gathering around me to protect my daughter. Thank you to the prayer circle. Please keep up the good vibrations x

30 June 2019

Trigger warning: medical interventions

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6:16 pm had to take first endone since 6 pm yesterday. Pain with nausea. Not relieved by two paracetamol.

Jarrod is making us a lovely roast dinner so I am probably just hungry. I am looking forward to dinner 🙂.

I am happy and grateful to have him with me for some support, as I was with Lyn on Friday :-)

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Watching “Dark” season 2:ep5.

Once again “Art” perfectly reflecting my own life”. 🙂

Thank you my “beloved Ancestors” who bring me messages of courage and clarity in my time of health crisis. I am humbled and grateful.

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I have showered although I was so weak I feared fainting in the shower. But the water was soothing to my fiery spirit and it felt good to wash off the dreck of my struggling to heal body and the filthy spiritual attachments as well.

Now I am out of the shower dressed in fresh new pjs and mysteriously have a sore knee. the one that I smashed in a bad fall at Greenslopes shopping centre years ago. So it’s probably nerve pain and my body is taking the path of least resistance.

I will trust Her. She has kept me alive for decades. In worse circumstances. Yes. This body of mine is a powerful piece of cosmic machinery. My spirit is terrifyingly strong. No wonder other mortals are repulsed by me and/or fear me. When you look into the abyss the abyss stares right back at you.

I have floundered in the valley of the shadows of death for so long even Life is beginning to cede her grip on me. Sometimes I wish Lady Life would just let me go. But she has whispered sweet promises (probably false delusions in my capricious health crisis!) that my life is going to be wonderful at last.

Dickhead. I know what is in store for me. It is the next incarnation that might be better. If I can bow out gracefully of this one. But every breath a new opportunity to aspire to my own greatness. Not everyone’s cup of tea, an acquired taste.

But I shall sup from the ambrosia of the gods again and they shall not find me wanting.

A courtesy. A curtsy. Fade to black but I do declare THIS BITCH IS BACK.

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19This day, I call upon the heaven and the earth as witnesses [that I have warned] you: I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. You shall choose life, so that you and your offspring will live; יטהַֽעִדֹ֨תִי בָכֶ֣ם הַיּוֹם֘ אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֒רֶץ֒ הַֽחַיִּ֤ים וְהַמָּ֨וֶת֙ נָתַ֣תִּי לְפָנֶ֔יךָ הַבְּרָכָ֖ה וְהַקְּלָלָ֑ה וּבָֽחַרְתָּ֙ בַּֽחַיִּ֔ים לְמַ֥עַן תִּֽחְיֶ֖ה אַתָּ֥ה וְזַרְעֶֽךָ:

20To love the Lord your God, to listen to His voice, and to cleave to Him. For that is your life and the length of your days, to dwell on the land which the Lord swore to your forefathers to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob to give to them. כלְאַֽהֲבָה֙ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ לִשְׁמֹ֥עַ בְּקֹל֖וֹ וּלְדָבְקָה־ב֑וֹ כִּ֣י ה֤וּא חַיֶּ֨יךָ֙ וְאֹ֣רֶךְ יָמֶ֔יךָ לָשֶׁ֣בֶת עַל־הָֽאֲדָמָ֗ה אֲשֶׁר֩ נִשְׁבַּ֨ע יְהֹוָ֧ה לַֽאֲבֹתֶ֛יךָ לְאַבְרָהָ֛ם לְיִצְחָ֥ק וּלְיַֽעֲקֹ֖ב לָתֵ֥ת לָהֶֽם:

I shall never see The Holy Land but my feet touch Sacred Space and my heart belongs to no man woman or child but the One who created All that is/Was/Ever will be.

I shall strive to survive long enough to see the Divine Feminine rise again and bring balance to this putrid treacherous spiteful World.

Verily Schechinah was with me when I confronted that doctor and his entire team. Only the most broken and bloodless could merit that Chutzpah and holiest of extra strength.

The Tanya. Not even allowed to have surgery without epic horrific drama and cruelty from men and their handmaidens.

But I was witnessed and I was not Silenced and my actions shall set shockwaves of repercussions so that that House (the PA pre-admissions sadism ) will be clean!!!

Not needing endone at all today. (So my body is healing itself.). Now just need to overcome the weakness.

It is day 5 post-op.

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30 June 2018

Cooking my fabulous chicken tagine and psyching up for another great night on the town.

Crystal has my car but will be back in time for dinner. Excited!

I have that weird nerve pain in my left thigh again. Not sure what is causing that but it is bearable ie I can still walk on it and hopefully I can still dance.

I get my back molar extracted on 9th July so hopefully all the weird jangly nerve pains will end after that.

I feel a tad unwell but nothing I can put my finger on so it might be my mood disorder.

Anyway, dancing and a few drinks will revivify the Tanya Zombie Creature. It gives me something to look forward to (and recover from!) each week.

30 June 2017

Another busy day. Planted onion and spinach seeds. Watered garden. Mopped the floors (Yay Clean floors!)

Bit tired now, so watching a movie "Okja".

30 June 2016

At Carindale Shopping centre. The noise in here is incredible. Just ate lunch but feel like running away again. Oh well. It's been ages since I went to a shopping centre.

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Well, mood a bit more stable. But I left the tap running in the kitchen sink and was obliviously sitting outside eating leftover semolina pudding, enjoying the sun when I heard this great rushing of water and thought by the gods that fishpond is loud today. So I got up to check to discover Niagara Falls all over the kitchen floor!

When will I learn? This must be the 20th time I have done this.

Positive note: kitchen floor has been cleansed.

Not so positive note: fucking up chipboard shelves in right hand cabinet from flooding.

Metaphor for my life: go with the flow and watch it all wash away. Everything is temporary.

Beautiful sunny day but cold. I have showered my itchy skin (arggggh) and washed my lank hair (double arggggh) so spit and polished for another few days.

My kitchen looks like a bomb hit it as I had to empty out the cabinet with mixing bowls full to brim of water. Lol!

Schmeh! I am going out. Not gonna sweat the small stuff today.

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Tonight I painted my mannequin arm in pond sealant ( waterproof). 1 coat. Also finished varnishing the Dutch clogs. I had to put Bobo to bed early as the stink from the chemicals is enough to make him sick or high. I am watching Fargo season 1.

I felt very strange in the head today, so filled my script for Valium but have not taken any yet. I didn't sleep well last night so I guess the anxiety was caused by sleep deprivation.

I cleaned all the filters and topped up the fishponds late this afternoon too.

I have been trying to keep busy. I still need to finish my Staff and then the next project will be sanding back the dining table and decoupaging it.

Slowly getting the odd creative jobs completed around the house.

30 June 2015

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8.46pm I slept all day! Woke up at 8.30 pm when Lyn rang. I have just had dinner. Reheated spaghetti and bolognese and a nice cup of tea.

Hohum! Back to rest I go. My chest is almost back to my version of normal but that illness has left me exhausted. It was a long hard grind, coughing and asthma for almost 5 weeks. So yeah, I reckon it will take me a few more weeks to get my strength back.

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30 June 2014

The little chick just died. I couldn't regulate his temperature and he wasn't eating or drinking by himself. So sad.

30 June 2013

I went out with Gail to the Elton John Tribute Band at Greenbank RSL. We had a nice time. I didn't drink more than one JD cos I was driving and on antibiotics so it was nice that Gail could have a few drinks and really enjoy herself dancing for a change. We got home early, by 11.30 pm. So I talked on Paltalk til midnight then went to bed early.

Today is a mellow day with the cold and rain. Snuggle up with the heater, the dog, the cats and a dvd later, methinks.

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Body: slowly recovering. Mind: Weak but an infinite miracle of jumbles. Spirit: Wild, Free and limitless and wanting to Howllllllll and Dance and Play.

Weather: Crap. Financial Situation: Devastating and getting worse. Humour: Ponderous. Life Goals: To find True Love and Prosperity. Actual Likelihood of previous comment? Almost Zero.

Optimism: Uniquely Unrealisticly Hopeful in spite of actual Real life quotients. Support from my Friends: Constantly Devoted and Amazing.

Sum Total of my Life: I get by with a lot of help from my friends after always relying on the kindness of Strangers and being a Daydream Believer and Spiritual Warrior and Adventurer Par Excellence.

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Julie visited me this arvo and brought me a Natural Super Flu Killer offer Juice, with pineapple, garlic, lemon, ginger and cayenne that she had made. It was yummy!

I will have another drink of it tonight before bed. (Only lucky thing is I am not kissing anyone tonight!) but it's guaranteed to clear the bug outta my system! Phew!

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A huge thank you to Lyn, Annette and Annette B who yesterday helped me with our garage sale and worked from the early hours in the morning to try to help me sell some stuff and make a little money.

A huger Thank You to Lyn and Annette who made it possible by buying a few items, for me to be out of debt. Lyn, I know this Jewish banking system works well, but it's not meant be a constant float.

I love you anyway, you gorgeous Woman, you. One day I will make it up to you....if only this opportunity arises. That $50 makes all the difference to boost my social life!

You are such a wonderful kind support to me, and my true Sister. You have seen me through so much shit in the past 25 years, and you never cease to 'hold my hand' through all my trials and tribulations and lately some spurious adventures. You Rock!

30 June 2011

I spent the evening thinly slicing my Cumquats for the marmalade I'll be making tomorrow, laughing my ass off at Lawrence Leung’s UFO exposee and I also made a baked pasta dish which was awesome. (I've been craving chocolate and carbs).

Yesterday I ate 2 blocks of chocolate and loads of boiled potatoes. Today I finished off the spuds and had two massive bowls of pasta.

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I slept until 1ish pm then took a bus this arvo to Bunnings and bought a cheap $10 garden arch so my rose doesn't collapse and die. It was easy to get there but I had to wait a while for a bus back but I'm getting the hang of the bus stuff. Only problem is I can't carry heavy potting mix on the bus. I will ask next time if they deliver.

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My legs are still very sore from the long walk two days ago, so I made sure I got off at the right bus-stop as it actually hurts to walk lol.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons