Memories: 27 June 2025

27 June 2025

7:45 am A good day is when you wake up breathing and you remember all the years when you were “asleep”, a shuffling drooling automaton, barely functioning, barely alive, existing on psych meds because you were surrounded by dirty evil bastards and there was no other way to survive.

Then something changed…one by one your narcissist psychopath enemies died and you gradually healed enough to take up the reins in your life again. You went dancing, you fell down and you got up again and there came a time when noone remembered the Zombie you once were and still they tried to destroy you out of envy and spite, lacking understanding in their shallow callow vicious lowlife minds of who and what you are…a living breathing miracle who fought for decades to Become…this amazing creative Being…this Woman.

And those who knew and remembered you and held space for you as you grew into your own life again…after decades of emotional torture and venal cruelty…Rejoiced with you, held you precious, danced and sang and celebrated with you. For they knew the too-high prices that were paid, the suffering and the immense joy of your healing and Becoming.

Blessèd be true friends and true loves who love you in the good times but also the downright ugly toxic putrefying times…of which there were too many…but still we flowed through it like a trickling strangled swirling eddy that became a great fountain and a cascade of Joy and Delight. 🙂

Everything and every one has their Time to Arise and Shine…and when you can’t shine cos some ugly vicious bastard brought you low…just quietly nurture the embers that glow cos when you are ready, they will be a bright shining beacon for the ones still scrambling in the faecal dust of others’ atrophy and hate.

And when they see your Light, shining stolidly bright…they will be inspired and know that a better or different life is still yet possible.

So go forth, my darlings and be the Light that no one wanted you to express…it’s yours. Claim it. You don’t need to burn yourself down to please the Haters. Just change the way you See and Be….hold your Sacred Tryst with the Mystery and gain mastery over your oppressors…and remember to Laugh…loud and long….as their demons can’t tolerate real and hard won happiness.

Don’t let them crush you but if they do…turn that into an elixir of the finest most life affirming ambrosia. A delicate piquant liquor that delights the mind and the senses. Sup from your own majesty and feed the ones who genuinely love you and keep your juicy best far away from the rest.

Mama T has Spoken, Written, Danced and Entranced. Blessèd Be!

27 June 2024

It’s a glorious morning. Ratih arrived just before 10 am but she had to text me as I was still sleeping. So I got out of bed feeling “hungover” from exhaustion.

So I got dressed and brought Charley out into my sacred space garden and ate toast with a cup of tea and am still sitting here, watching YouTube videos and slowly reintegrating my mind, body and spirit.

That cpap device might be coming just at the most crucial fragile time after 8 years of struggling with my bladder. My infamous “11th hour” when all hope seems lost and kickstart my life again. Be done that dozens of times. Sometimes by the will of the gods, not even my own choosing. Psy sighs!

I got up three times last night so that’s about the average now. I might get out the TENS machine and persevere with the nerve stimulation since three times a night is actually an “improvement”.

I only got up twice during the night when I had my sleep study on 18th June but that involved me fighting the urge to pee most of the night, ergo staying awake as it was awkward having to ask the technician to unhook the mask and tubing each time.

27 June 2023

9.20 am. Another bad night. Only 9 pit stops during the night. But still draining…literally.

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1:38pm It’s a glorious day. I have been to Coles and bought groceries using the last of my flybys points plus $60 of my own cash. I bought raspberry flavoured Twisties and omg…they were delicious! I gave a few to Beauregard and Charley and Bobo went insane…wanting more. I now wish I had bought an extra packet too. But junk food is bad for me. Mmmkkk.

Food is so expensive now but those delicious Twisties were only $2. Death by carbicide and highly processed foods but omg…so addictive.

Anyway, we are chilling on the grass. I am soaking up the sun and Charley is in the trees doing what comes natural to her, tweeting cheerfully!

27 June 2022

Today I am still very weak and ill. My chest has eased up on the coughing somewhat but my asthma is still quite bad. I got beset by tummy troubles also.

It was another beautiful sunny day so I spent the day outside in the sunshine. I was commenting on a video posted by Australian doctors who are finally speaking out against the Covid debauchery that has been going on here for the past two and a half years. It was a three hour video so I was commenting (and fighting!) for three hours.

I can only hope and pray that my advocacy makes a difference. I am only one tiny voice amongst 7 billion people. But it’s too important to remain silent.

I might be dying anyway. The way my health has spiralled under in the past 6 months. But I will not go silently into that darkest of nights….:-/

So yes, today has been intense. I must rest now. I did manage to give Bobo a bath this afternoon too. That took quite a bit of wrangling. But he’s clean now :-)

27 June 2021

27 June 2020

Trigger warning: csa.

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2:56 am still not asleep. Grrr. I have been lying here since 10:30 pm.

Triggered from my diaries, then my heartfelt conversation with Lynne who apart from my former sister, is the only living memory of the abuse I endured throughout my childhood as she personally witnessed most of it and the profound effects it had on me.

Lynne constantly pushes me to forgive Angela but does not comprehend the enormity of the betrayal. In anger I asked Lynne next time she sees Angela and Grant to tell them that “Dead sisters” don’t cry and to go fuck themselves.

This dead zombified sister may not cry but she upset herself enough to not sleep either. Jesus!

I do love Lynne deeply though. We went through hell as children. We were like “Heavenly Creatures”. If only for us not knowing what a brake line looked like, we could have set ourselves free. But at what cost?!

I guess I can be grateful I did not add murder of my homegrown paedophile to my long list of traumas as a child. But he deserved to die as does anyone who steals the safety, dignity and life force of little children.

It wasn’t just the sexual abuse that utterly destroyed me during my infancy but the ongoing treachery of the adult women in my neighbourhood who knew better but instead of helping protect me, victim blamed me.

I had a taste of that again recently with my optometrist. She calls me crazy but was she raised in a family of verminous paedophiles and enablers and victim blamers? I think not.

Crazy is as crazy does so here I am not sleeping. My fb memories which came up tonight were of me fighting for survival after that surgery. I did not repost them as I am trying to move on from that debacle...which cost me another 9 or 10 months of post traumatic pain but also exponential growth as The Tanya is a resilient audacious courageous warrior goddess even if I do still suffer pain in my liver every time I eat oily food or too much sugar.

But I fought back from that and other pernicious heartaches.

So the gift of delightful children with unconditional awe-inspiring loving spirits was a great balm to my much-beleaguered soul.

Thank you to all the gods, sentient beings, ancestors that love me for my true Beloveds who stand with me proudly and hold my hand across all paradigms. Mama T loves you.

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9:38 am awake after only 5 hours sleep. It’s a beautiful albeit cold morning. I wonder what joys I can manifest today?

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I’m lying in bed wondering what gifts of love and wisdom I can impart to my three little boys who are moving out of my neighbourhood next Saturday. We have been giving each other little gifts since we met (their daddy rescued Charlie after he went Walkabout in March!)

Margot and Laimee visited with their little girls today and mentioned that Winston especially, would miss me. What can I impart to this child that will set him on his Path for the rest of his life? I know he is gifted and that is why he adores me more so than his brothers.

I will pray that his life is a blessèd one and that he grows up to be a fine strong and loving man, just as he already shows himself to be at 6 years of age.

We had a funny conversation a few weeks ago when I teased him that I don’t eat veges and prefer chocolate for breakfast and he gave me a lecture on the goodness of all the fruits from the ground, especially carrots. He loves food and I am convinced he will probably grow up to be a chef.

It was very cute and funny being lectured on healthy eating by a 6 year old. A few days later the family gave me a box of Freckles chocolates as a gift “for breakfast” and I joked it was the perfect gift as I actually have freckles too! Winston laughed at that!

I have been loved by children, if only for a short time, little ones who Saw me and recognised my Magick and that was a wonderful gift that this covid epoch brought to me!

Tonight my childhood friend Lynne messaged me from NZ and reminded me how my younger estranged daughter Jasmine used to look at me with adoration.

I reminded her that I too, used to adore my own father until he began to behave like a pig and once that spell of unconditional love and awe is broken it can never be recovered.

So for me I suppose the gift will be a vague memory some day, in a little boy’s mind...of a rather peculiar woman with her dog and bird who taught him to honour his own spirit and magic as it will bring him comfort in difficult times. I hope he remembers whom he truly is. A dear sweet little soul, loving his vegetables, his family and life itself.

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I went to say Goodbye to the little boys and their beautiful mother this morning. Al was already doing loads to their new home. I thanked Clare for her Earth Mother Warrior Goddess support and love she expressed to the Jewel Box community during Lockdown.

I said it had meant a great deal to me, meeting her lovely family via Charlie the escapee. That I think she is a wonderful woman (and mother!) and I wished her a life of safety and great joy, in the future.

I wished I could somehow wave a magic wand and buy them a house as she is a beautiful beautiful Soul, deeply spiritual like me, very sensitive and genuinely loving and kind.

I burst into tears as I remember my many years of moving house with young children after my separation and subsequent divorce and the ensuing trauma as my family of origin were so utterly vile.

I can’t bear to think of the emotional toll on this woman with her three boys. But she has at least a lovely husband for support. I lacked that too.

I am grateful to all the gods (the manifestations of the Ein Sof Aur) for gifting me my lovely safe home (even if the thought of being harassed by Housing about ceiling fans and smoke alarms set my teeth on edge and destabilised me for a few days).

At least I have had a stable home in the past 17 years to begin to unpack emotionally and heal from my horrifically marginalised life.

Tonight I feel somehow “elevated” by the authentic sweet love I received today from Clare and her boys. (Also the sweetness from yesterday with Margot and Laimee and their little girls)

The world truly is a magnificent place when you are surrounded by/with love.

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Show me the merest scraps of love and watch me blossom like a rare orchid who learned to thrive in a wasteland.

Let your love be true and fuelled and blessed by the Divine and I will show you the reflections of your own heart and the refractions of your eternal Light.

(Even in my own darkness, disarray, desolation... for what is Love without its handmaiden...Hope! The consort of Kings and Knaves).

27 June 2019

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11:11 am. Loved and protected by my angels. Still in pain. Endone wears off after 3 hours. Unusual. But it is giving me some relief. It says on the box I can take up to three tablets every three hours. I have only been taking one. So it seems I am doing all the right things.

The last few hours of sleep were recuperative. Penny lay beside me purring in a solid comfortable way and licked my hand. She is my champion and healer.

A truest love. (Earlier she had leapt on my belly unwittingly causing me pain so I yelped). But the past 3 hours I was soaked in waves of what felt like healing vibrations through my entire belly. So G-d or my own higher mind is working on me. I could feel it. The comfort. 😉.

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8:15 am pain is authentic. Not abated after last sleep. Swelling and bloating. Pain radiating from bellybutton incision up to incision under right breast. No redness externally but very tender.

I will take another endone as tried to go without as they want me to think this in my mind. But it is real and painful so fuck them.

I have taken photos of my surgical wounds and will keep documenting as I may have to seek medical treatment elsewhere. Probably blacklisted in all Queensland hospitals after I fought so hard for myself yesterday. The outrageous lies they put on my file is beyond disgusting.

Now the healing is up to me, my body is screaming internally but my mind is very clear.

At least I am able to walk better today. So regaining strength in my legs. I will try to walk around the block with Bobo later. Even if it only up the street and back. I deserve a lovely peaceful healed life. Absolutely. The same as anyone else on this planet.

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13 health refuses to assist as Ryan's rule can only be used if I were still in hospital. Naturally it was another male operator that refused to assist me. That’s nice!

Qld health are determined to kill me.

Hopefully jaw and neck pain is not from Infection in body but from lying down. Or wound on my belly. Which is spreading.

Oh well. Have had a shower and will lie back down.

PS I had advice from my friend Sally (who had to call a doctor friend for advice). I will go to gp if the redness and discolouration gets worse.

It’s now 7:56 am Friday. Slept deeply. Not gotten up yet. Surgical wounds still painful but let’s face it I am a highly sensitive little flower with white freckled skin.

So here we are! Another day. I think I will be better today. I can feel an powerful energy surging through my core and a sensation of hunger as well.

Mama T is back in da room!!!

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5:30 am. Still in pain but not taking an endone as I want to see if it gets better after I sleep. Proof that I do not abuse endone but keep it for only worse pain scenarios.

Still very distressed about the abuse yesterday. But will rise and shine in my own Being again. Gonna try to sleep more as that gives my body an opportunity to repair itself.

Cleaving to life while feeling like one is simultaneously dying is a delicate tightrope balancing act. One I have walked many times before. Never let the bastards grind me down.

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I trust no one now. The swelling and tenderness at the incision and drain sites is bad but it will heal. Just was an incredibly traumatic ordeal which caused my body to be in more pain than others I guess. If it gets infected I will go to a doctor across the border. Zero trust in Qld health right now.

If no one will treat me respectfully with necessary pain relief (which I have now after confronting my abusers) I will have to either heal or die. My choices are increasingly limited when the doctors betray you. But of course they want you to give up on yourself. I am sure the morgues are full of them.

Evil fuckers. Never underestimate a woman’s will to survive no matter what. Just so I can see the face of my beloved daughter again, or my pets or the garden or my loving friends.

Or look deep inside myself and be the love that no one ever manifested for me.

One fucking day at a time.

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I bought into all your Delusions. None of you are real either.

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27 June 2018

I had a lovely evening with my daughter last night. We watched “The Detour” and cooked her favourite chicken ragout-type dish (cooked chicken stir fried with vegetables, pasta sauce, red wine and pasta). Yum.

I enjoyed my evening with Jarrod on Monday also. We watched Gaia.com shows about extraterrestrials. All very fascinating.

I am feeling very much loved and supported. Thank you to all my beautiful friends, family and of course the Cosmos.

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27 June 2017

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I bought silver solder to fix one of my former mother's copper urns that I use as a rubbish bin in the bathroom. Still can't get the solder to work. Grrr. Frustrating. Guess I will have to take it to someone who knows how to weld metal bits together.

Oh well, at least I managed to put up new copper rods. One job achieved today!

Next (long term) jobs: buy 2 wooden blinds for the living room, a wooden blind for bathroom (old one is swollen and rotting hohum!)

Buy 3 vintage retro light fittings for bathroom and 2 bedrooms.

Get electrician to install chandelier in living room (sick of it lying around since 2008).

Things happen slowly at Diamond Street but I am getting there.

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Feeling much loved. I had a lovely time with Jarrod last night. Crystal made contact via his Facebook to tell me she is safe. She was happy I received the hat and that it looks awesome on me.

This morning I woke up feeling very aware of my spiritual growth and confidant that my life finally makes perfect sense. An in-gathering of emotional resources and an out-pouring of spiritual blessings bestowed, not just upon myself but all those I love and care for and all who strive to make the Earth a sanctification instead of a desecration.

Even in our own tiny way we are lighting each other up, waking up and moving forwards from a dark and dangerous nightmarish reality to dream a new dream that is a reality of freedom and joy and abundance for all the Earth.

It is a warm and beautiful morning and if I died today I would be satisfied with my Lot.

27 June 2016

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*Trigger Warning

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A letter to the Avoidant:

Men have fucked me or tried to destroy me since I was 6 years old. So really? You think you can hurt me too?

Get in line. I call upon the Wrath of G-D to smite any man who rapes or kills my spirit.

Davidson got away with it for 16 years but what is Time to the Mind of G-D???

He prospered after colluding with my evil family and even he tried to right some of his wrongs but it was too late!

He must have had some love left in his spirit to come to try to say goodbye for four nights. My shrink thinks his spirit tried to intimidate me but I fear no spirit. It is the living you have to watch.

He must have realised without me sending him to the Light in peace that his karma was going to be huge. I warned him all those years ago if he kept damaging me, there would come a time he crawled at my feet for forgiveness.

Well. Lmao! And so he has. But I don't forgive Monstrous liars, traitors and cheats. That would be like stupid as fuck, like forgiving Hitler. But I sent him on to have peace. For him and for me.

I am not doing another karmic lifetime with that evil fuck in it.

Now, my dearest darling, the same applies to all my Lovers. You chose to debase me then see how that works out for you.

I paid a huge price for my freedom from abusers. Not ever Being loved in an authentic genuine way. Ever!

You have no idea what that feels like? Hell. A living burning Hell on Earth that only G-D can remedy.

I called upon the Archangels to heal me so I can be in perfect alignment for a true love to be with me.

And my answer!? Lmao

Dead ghoulish former lovers hunting me down and living men who don't want me, are never there for me: trawling me via my friends.

I will sit with this. Meditate on what it means to be burned by your Sounds of Silence.

At the dog park yesterday. Two Dalmatians came and jumped on top of me and kissed my face. Animals, pure in spirit, love me. I have been owned by 2 Dalmatians years ago.

True love comes to me, but not from men. Never from men. Well, maybe Jarrod who has stood by me for 25 years but he never was a Lover. So he is my adopted brother. Thank G-D for one decent man who valued my essence.

And still I write this to you? Cos Denial is not just a long river in Africa and perhaps in this you will see the lesson.

Love is Eternal. Love is Real. Love is my cats and dog and random blessed affections from strange dogs at the dog park.

Love is seeing doppelgängers of mischievous little shits I never met when they were young. Love is dead men fearing my fury so much that they manifested at my door (the footsteps and door knocking was so powerful I thought it was the cops telling me something terrible had happened). His ego so large that he could not even fucking transition without haunting me. Lmao!

Love is foolish sex addicted Marco dancing around me, while I studiously ignored him then casting me a sly sad school boy smile. Sociopaths everywhere. But they come to Mama for healing. Theirs and mine!

So yes Angels. Gabriel, Michael, Uriel and Raphael. Thanks for the alignment. I have been thrown under another bus, Gus.

50 ways to leave your lover.

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2.28 pm we just got back from dog park. He growled and snarled and dominated 2 young Doberman puppies and a tried it on with a blue heeler who had him contained right away.

The blue was owned by an elderly man with a cane who at one point, bless him fell backwards in the mud. A young man and I helped him get back up on his feet. (Beginnings of dementia as I noticed the old man stepping backwards and wondered if he might fall). He even commented that he involuntarily steps backwards.

I am just happy he was okay and hadn't taken a stroke or was fitting. Bless him. I had spent some time playing with his blue heeler by throwing Bobo's ball for him as the old man was not mobile enough to do that for him.

So yeah, old age is not for sissies and if I am lucky (or not lucky as the case may be, I will be older too!)

I told the old man, "Don't be embarrassed, I fall over a lot too". Well I used to. I am a bit better co-ordinated after 4 years of dancing. I tend to mostly fall into holes or ditches though.

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7.47 am I just woke up to the dulcet tones of Bobo destroying one of Crystal's clown shoes she bought in Thailand. She is gonna kill me! I wore them all day yesterday as I don't have slippers as I usually don't need them. My thongs fell apart so I thought I would wear her killer sneakers (they were actually too big for me!)

Like an idiot I went to bed last night and left him sleeping in the lounge room. So far 5 bras and two pairs of expensive trendy sneakers.

This is bullshit. I will have to lock the little destructive bastard up in his crate at night as he can't be trusted with that oral fixation of his.

Also I should have removed the shoes from the lounge floor and put them up high. But I was so exhausted I didn't think about what he might get up to first thing in the morning.

I have been so sick with coughing and runny nose, sneezing that by bedtime I am utterly shattered.

So yeah. I am a bad Clown Mummy. I don't know how to replace them as they were very "ghetto". Damn. Damn damn. He also chewed my Converse I bought with my inheritance but they always gave me massive blisters so that was no great loss.

Oh well, no more wearing Crystal's stuff if I can't be trusted to protect it from the dog.

Oh and good morning! :-). Sick as a dog but gonna make a cup of tea and ruminate about shoes for a while.

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Reminding myself to breathe. Highly sensitive limbic system. Fuck yeah.

Beauregard killed a bra, my Converse ( that were still fairly new but always gave me epic blisters) and Crystal's clown boots.

At least it wasn't more chickens. He is really naughty as he has a bone on the floor. Grrrrr!

27 June 2015

What to do when you all out of Love, cash, lung capacity, dogs and familial bonds that tie??? Take your fucking meds! :-). Oh and sleep! Schmeh! Might as well make a nice cup of tea and make some more Pussy Monologues. Could be a You-Tube Hit if I get an agent.

Like all my other unfettered dreams of imagined success and accomplishment, of Avant garde Audacity and Joie de Vie. "Fake Vomits". I scraped my beautiful car, got doggedly let down, all I need is Love and another breath to soldier on!

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Last night I was reminded of how awesome I really am, not because I am a narcissist (ahem!) or because Stef drunkenly told me so, as he does almost every weekend as he (glibly and disingenuously) offers to take me out for dinner then forgets in the light of day and sobriety. I am rather fond of him in spite of his clumsy social Skills. Sweet man!

Not because I deserve to be awesome, any more than anyone else, but because after decades of trauma, and helping my family of breast-biting Vipers die with dignity (which was unbelievably kind, noble and naive of me)...for if I had known the length and depth and breadth of their evil salacious treatment of me, I would have killed them all. Happily too!

No, I am Awesome! Not because my psychiatrist told me so, (probably to anchor me to this world when I wanted so badly to exit Stage Left, and fumble my last bit part in this tragi-comedic life!)

But because once again I found myself fearless, protective and stupidly vulnerable when I protected a young woman from her aggressive boyfriend. I told him to leave her alone and not make a scene in public. We balefully stared at each other.

There was violence in his eyes and I knew it. But he wasn't game to levy against the innate violence and fury I store in the depths of my own soul. He backed off. Then approached her again.

I (calmly!) extended my arm between him and her to let him know I was the line he better not cross. He yelled at her about owing him $2000. She yelled back she didn't owe him shit. He left.

I turned to her. Said, "Psychopaths, manipulators and inveterate liars". She nodded. Started to sob. "I just need to dance". I said "There will be no crying tonight. You want to dance! So we will Dance, dammit!"

Then I watched her unfurl like a flower, still reeking with fury and grief like a Pitcher plant that caught a diseased Fly, but she flew. It was a thing of beauty. Of Triumph over Trauma. Of Self-Love.

Then I thought to myself. I needed a woman like me when my entire life crumbled into ashes.

Where was this wonderful, brave, fiery, powerful woman? To step in on Ground Zero like an Angel of Mercy and of Wrath, depending on the particular circumstances at the time. But I had children to think of, to stay alive for. I had to strive for stability. STABILITY. Poise, the ability to maintain oneself in a crisis. Cojones.

Last week, I protected a young Indian man from a larger, aggressive white male who was making him twirl like a girl - one too many times for my liking.

I stepped in, raised one finger and in a stern school marmish voice (made even more effective by my almost Edwardian skirt, under-bust corset and blouse) said "No, Enough!"

Now I must ask myself, who the fuck am I? A Super-Hero or a Freak. Stef once accused me of having a Jesus Complex and I must get off my cross. This enrages me as frankly, I despise the religion called Christianity and almost everything it stands for.

However, I have been intellectually, ethically, legally and spiritually "martyred" many times. Usually any time I tried to succeed in life or prosper. Each time I was cut down by liars, cheats, thieves. My bride of Frankenstein price I paid, so much much more than 30 pieces of silver.

But every cloud of Doom, Gloom, Desolation and Destruction has a silver (or mercurial?) lining.

I became whom I am Becoming.

I like it. A lot.

A Hell of a lot. I am discovering something really unique and quaint and surprising.

My True friends, truest Loves...like Me a lot too!

Awesome, lucky grateful woman here, to have reached this season. :-)

My personal history can be described in three sentences.

They tried to kill me.

I won.

Let's dance (eat) (celebrate)!

So anyway, thinking of Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind. I deserve to be kissed, often...and by a man who knows how!

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Yup! Life death life experience. Done that too many times. Now I am just a crusty little over-inflated Vamp. Still smoking hot though :-). Complete with Burning Bushes and cosmic attitude.

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I am rather embarrassed to be Australian right now. Gay marriage legalised in NZ, Ireland and now the United States of America. Aussie?? Where are we??? Still in the dark ages where daylight savings fries your fucking curtains and gay marriage will somehow make the cuntry well, just, colourful, prosperous and you know, generally awesome.

So proud of America and NZ and Ireland and all the other countries that finally supports equality fraternity and gaiety. Fuck the rest!

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Fml. I was all excited about the dog. Geared up to pick him up at 2 pm. Then the owner texts me and asks me if I have a high fence? He climbs over 1 metre fences. So I miss out AGAIN.

Why she couldn't have mentioned that salient fact Last night, before I agreed to take him and got all excited, I have no Fucking idea. Why do people play fucktard games with animals? I hope he finds a home and they don't fuck him over!

So sick of time-wasters!

On a happy note, I won't be settling a new dog into the family home so I can go out again tonight.

Broke, disappointed so will see how I feel by tonight!

Oh well, the universe will bring me my dream dog when the planets align and I hold my mouth the right way! "Twitch". Like my romantic life...not happening in a far out way.

At least I don't have the worry that Chopper might have been a cat or chicken killer. Compared to that my 1 metre fences were low on the radar!

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I just spoke to Crystal on skype. She says when she gets a job and makes some money she will go to Hamburg and Poznan to find our relatives. My second cousin Teja Patula is still alive and living in Hittfeld. Mind blown. Mum lied to me that he was dead.

Although he is not related to me I told her to visit Angela's father and step-mother. I think they would be thrilled to meet Crystal. If not, no biggie.

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5.07 am home from a lovely night dancing. I scraped my car on the post near the entry so upset myself over that so got a terrible pain in my back so danced all night with the assistance of pain killers. Such is life. Maybe with a bit of a polish the yellow paint from the post will come off.

27 June 2014

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1.12 am I had an awesome night dancing while Jabba rocked out.

Now eating Hot Chips and waiting for the beautiful Jo.

My feet hurt! My heart is full. My carbs are overloaded. It's cold outside. I don't care :-).

27 June 2011

I am the grateful recipient of so many blessings lately, some obvious and practical like I had today but I sense there is so much more filtering down to me from the Mystery. It's like this Vortex has been opened and I hope this sudden Flow of Positivity is not a teasing Illusion but the real thing and my prayers are answered completely.

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Thanks Lyn, you know what for! Love you heaps!

27 June 2010

27 June 2009

I’m back from Courtenay's friend's 40th...a Bogan Fest for all but met some 'interesting' people. He's partying on until daylight and will be a complete write-off by morning. LOL. Not my monkey!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons