Memories: 13 September 2025

13 September 2025

8:15 am Another sunny morning. I just woke up. 11.39 hours of sleep. Wow! I must have worn myself out, stitching the seat and driving myself so hard. All good

The light bouncing off my neighbours’ grey façade has a steely metallic bite to it. Interesting. Yesterday morning it was golden. As golden as you can get to bounce off ugly grey.

The birdies and I had a lovely day. They were outside from 9.30 am until 4 pm. I think they really enjoyed themselves.

Beau is twittering. Time to get up and greet the day.

My hands are still aching from all my efforts. My lungs feel a bit calmer. Slowly healing.

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The two naughty little boys, one Sudanese, one white Australian who utterly terrorise the birds and cats in the neighbourhood…just got a blasting from me. I was burning my leaves in my brazier. The Sudanese boy yells out “hey, what are you doing? I smell fire” I set him a steady glare.

“Yes… I am burning leaves…but you two boys…I heard the lady telling you off for throwing rocks at the birds this morning… she threatened to tell your parents. And you are lucky she is such a nice lady that she only threatened you with your parents….because if I catch you throwing rocks at any bird or cat or harm any animal, even a butterfly or even a mouse…I won’t be telling your parents…no…I will lather both your behinds such that you will never wish to harm any animal again!”

They both look at me with great astonishment and circumspection. The little wild white boy (no doubt of Irish descent…loves a good bollocking he does). But the older Sudanese boy sees the whites of my crazy old lady eyeballs and shivers a little cos he knows I am serious!

“Okay” he says quietly. Not giving cheek like they gave to Nikki this morning.

Maybe they won’t listen to a younger woman but an older wild-eyed grandmother Crone might get through to them. Those boys are bored out of their wits. Always up to mischief.

Btw, I have no intention of lathering their behinds… Their parents can’t control them. So sometimes it takes a stranger to put the fear of the “birds” back into them.

Little psychopathic sadistic bullies understand only one authority. Somebody bigger and stronger, older and wilder than they.

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12:30 pm The doorbell rings. It’s the little African kid. “Hey, you know how you said I can’t kill any animals? Well what about fish?”

I turn my head. “Are you threatening my fish too now, my boy?” “Nooo…have you got fish too?” He knows very well I have a pond at the front of my house.

“Yes I have fish too….”

“well, what about fish? Can I kill them to eat them?”

“Yes but only if you go fishing to catch them to eat, otherwise you must put them back into the water so they can live well and happily as you do, living your very best life. You must only kill enough fish that you can eat!”

He nods.

I tell him “Boy, you are very curious about this crazy old lady and that is why you come here now, twice. What is your name?”

“Calvin,” he says. “Ahhh” I say “well I am Tanya and I am the protector of all birds and animals, as you already have seen”.

I tell him that to kill or hurt other animals is a very great evil. Those creatures have done nothing to you. They are trying to live their very best lives, protect their babies. Now that you throw stones at the magpie, it will remember you and attack you and all other people cos it’s a bird. It does not know who is the enemy. It will protect its babies. Now to that bird, all Humans are its enemy. This is what trouble YOU have created for us all!

Now…you boys are just bored and need things to do other than attack innocent birds and animals. Go ask your parents if it’s okay. Then I will pay you $5 to rake up the leaves for me, as I am old and it’s getting too much for me. But you are big boys now and have time and energy to help little Crazy old ladies”.

Calvin’s eyes light up. “I will do it!” I smile wanly. I tell him I don’t have $5 right now and he needs to get permission from his parents. Bring them to my door so I can meet them and I will give him the job. Lol.

I wonder if he will? The prospect of earning some pocket money thrilled him utterly! lol.

The smallest boy of the three, yells “I am six. I am a big boy now. I will rake your leaves!” I chuckle. “You are indeed a big boy now! Ready to go to work! Now go and play in the forest. Throw rocks at things that you can’t actually hurt!”

I could teach them how to skip stones at the dam but I don’t think there are stones there. Also let us remember, they are not my children, and I am not ready to take on that level of commitment to guide and support little midget domestic terrorists and sadists and animal torturers.

What a life. By all the gods!

13 September 2023

This morning I am meeting my daughter at GOMA for a day out together. Exciting. I haven’t seen her in 6 weeks.

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After Maiala we drove to the outlook at Mt Nebo and watched the incredibly beautiful sunset together. Mother and daughter Shamans delighting in Nature together.

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13 September 2022

I just had the most gorgeous thing happen! Remember when I wrote this morning about it being a beautiful day? Well I just received a call and I received the most unexpected gift!

A lovely woman I met while we were getting our hair done, found my zany exuberant stories about the gods etc and my general meshugass so delightful that she insisted on paying for my hairdressing today!

This is just so unexpected and so very kind. I am just thrilled to bits!

Thank you to Kylie and Irene for your wonderful kindness and generousity to me. I am so grateful for my beautiful friends and benefactors who bless me along my life’s journey.

Kylie always makes me look beautiful and supports me when I need to do some creative financial juggling, then her client wanted to gift me also.

Just wow!!!

I told Kylie I had considered ringing her earlier this evening to apologise for my mad rambling but she said no, Irene had found it all so delightful that she insisted on paying for my hairdo!

Goddess Bless my superb SuperWomen and my goddesses. Who look after me in the most magical ways!

I love you all! (And my beautiful male friends who also cherish and nurture me along my Way!)

Irene is about to travel to Greece so I asked her to put in a prayer for me at the Oracle of Delphi as gods know…I need all the blessings I can get. I was quite in earnest but also being a bit silly.

So this was her gift to me!

Amazing!

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Thanks, Kylie x

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It’s a gloriously beautiful morning. After my little nocturnal rant I did indeed harvest a few hours of sleep. Thank the gods for that.

It’s a warm Spring morning. I am sitting outside with Charley and Beauregard. We are all content 🙂 not a cloud in the bluest of blue skies! Today is gonna be a good day!

There is a high vibration, an almost audible tone. So the spirits are busy doing what they do best, while we mortals carry on with our incarnated manifestations.

I am Surrounded by love and generosity and sweetness. Indeed yesterday I had another visit from the kookaburra who sat above my head in the African tulip tree and watched me with great interest.

Life is good. Holding on to precious moments like the jewels in a dragon’s hoard as they shimmer and fade as much as they sparkle and ennoble.

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2:40 am unable to sleep. I have been lying here for several hours. My brain refuses to shut down. My legs are aching, especially the shins where I fell over the side table out in the garden, about a week ago. The bruising aches. Nuts. Then my skin cancer scars are itching.

I am getting my hair done tomorrow so need to sleep or I will drive my friend and hairdresser mad with my almost manic ramblings that occur when I am sleepless, excited or overstimulated.

I have been drinking mullein tea since it arrived on Saturday (to attempt to cure my lung problems once and for all) so perhaps that has caused the insomnia as well.

But it’s worth a try, as I have been suffering with chronic bronchitis for decades now and I can’t go on like this! Especially the past few months when I spiralled under and really thought I might die.

But no, instead I soldiered on and even managed to make more jewellery and go to my first market on Sunday. So I know I can heal my mind, body and spirit, and still have so much potential stored deep inside me.

I know I can do anything if only I can overcome my current financial distress brought on by increased food prices and the unexpected extra expenses.

I will keep working towards my goals: a safe happy successful life with a loving partner (one day) and learning new skills which create a more prosperous life than the one I have barely survived for the past 57 years….or bust!

I think the path I am on is finally opening up new vistas of positivity and kindness and support, new growth, new learnings and an entirely new life.

But sometimes I think too much and hope too hard and get segued by events not under my control, so I have to go within and rebirth new paradigms one breath at a time.

I did a trance drumming yesterday. Spirit still says there are recalibrations. I am not sure if they mean within my own psyche or externally, in our Covid Epoch, with our newly deceased queen, maniacs driving around and stabbing people (yesterday at Carindale) and other zombie apocalypse atrocities.

Aww Bobo is having a nightmare too. I can hear him whimpering in his sleep.

The moon is still very bright. Perhaps that is influencing my insomnia also.

At any rate every little thing is gonna be all right! I have decided. I have ridden through worse epochs and storms. Life is beautiful. The birds and even a dancing buzzing bee reminded me of that this past week. 🙂

Well now I have written down my weird and wonderful woes and aspirations, perhaps my brain will relax into somnolence and let me rest.

Laila Tov! Good night from us at Sacred Space!

13 September 2020

12:28 am thanks for the Memories...time to enter the Astral For some Interfacing with my Angels. Lots of work to do...😉 psychedelic dreaming and stitching up of my ever seamless life.

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Today I got up with a sudden desire to drive to West End and have a walk around the shops. I dressed up very elegantly in a long sleeved white blouse with frills down the front, my gold pencil skirt, my new pale pink mules, my black underbust corset, my purple top hat. I wore my pearls and my carnelian merkabah earrings and my assymetrical black cardigan.

I brought Beauregard with me. No sooner we arrived, me filled with a churning anxiety as I have lost confidence in going out by myself, we started walking down Thomas street.

Across the road from a coffee shop The Beau decided to stop and do a poo. Which meant I had to put both bags down, and squat down in my elegant but alternative clothing to pick up the poo.

Awkward...embarrassing... but normal process for The Tanya the warrior goddess and her worthy Dog-god. So I stand back up, shuck my shoulders back, quietly observing a few male customers opposite me trying not to laugh at the vision of the earthy organised hell that we represented. (They had probably checked out my arse too...Blech!).

So I point my dogged doggone nose to the air and drag my Beau down to Vulture Street looking for a bin to put the poo bag in.

I had to cross the street and lob it in the nearest council bin.

We carried on walking down as far as Three Monkeys then back up to Browning Street. Nowhere to grab a coffee with a dog in tow. Oh well. I wondered what I was thinking taking Bobo for a walk there anyway.

One woman watched us walking up the street and commented that my dog was enjoying his walk. Indeed!

We stopped and sat on a park bench so I could give Beauregard his water to drink. I suddenly felt deeply uncomfortable. Why am I here? Why? No answer to that.

We carried on walking back to the intersection. We had to wait for the light to cross. A thought came to my mind ‘you have been Seen’. I thought ‘oh well whatever!’ We crossed with the light and two young women dressed all alternative with dreadlocks were walking towards me.

One of them said to me “You are dressed so beautifully!” I was quite surprised. So I replied back “Oh thank you, that is very kind of you!” Beauregard and I made it across the intersection. By now my fairly new shoes were hurting my feet!

We got to the car and drove home. Tired but content.

(I am so accustomed to be barefoot at home all the time that actual shoes hurt me. They dug into my toenails, pinched all the joints on my feet. Going the last stretch of the road towards my car I had an urge to just bloody well take them off and run like a wild woman barefooted with my top hat and crazy pooping Dog-Star! But I restrained myself and hobbled haphazardly until I reached my car. Phew.

I looked back down the street before climbing into the driver’s seat to observe the same two young women who had complimented me so generously were also walking back to their car. I had to smile to myself. It was odd as we had passed, going opposite directions. They must have followed me back lol.

They smiled too. I got in my car and headed for home like a fucking homing pigeon. My little internal gps beacon that beckoned me to West End not quite satiated.

My psychiatrist told me in our last session that I am quite resonant with the universe and not at all crazy. I must keep the faith!

I do feel rather Shaken and stirred after the little haunting on Thursday and these weird little practise missions sent to various parts of the city. I have no idea what that was all about even but yes, we had a nice albeit brief walk.

13 September 2019

I was feeling much better emotionally, yesterday. Jarrod arrived as I was frantically mopping the floors but he was amused to find me in full hypomanic emotional ebullient vivacious Flight.

We had a lovely morning and afternoon, fossicking at Reverse Garbage through all their Art Cards which I collected for my decoupage. Jarrod teased me as he said I was supposed to be decluttering my art card collection, not bringing more home! But I laughed and said “It’s for Art!” I got a whole bundle for $2 so I was delighted!

Then we had a delicious lunch. I was ravenously hungry so thoroughly enjoyed every mouthful. (I had not realised how hungry I was!). I was just shoving food into my mouth with the glee of young child who has re-discovered her life force.

I was very primal and somehow sumptuously sublimely satiated! My emotions settled right down after that. Why, I almost purred!

Then we walked around Montague Street but the culture has changed there. Not any funky artsy shops, only businesses and the rag trade that have stuffy elitist signs about not selling to the public. We stopped at an op shop but they were asking for huge sums of money for their wares.

So we came home feeling a tad disappointed but happy about our lunch and outing. We took Bobo for a quick walk around the block then spent the rest of the evening watching weird movies on SBS. Which were surreal but enjoyable.

I was glad to be feeling joyous again. I have been on a roller coaster ride with my emotions for the past few weeks. So here we go... it’s Friday today.

I have my debrief with my psychiatrist this arvo. Then Ecstatic Dance (if I feel well enough!) I am moving through life incrementally as I had a fair bit of pain last night, under my right rib cage. No idea what that is about. My liver pain is usually lower down.

Anyway today is gonna be great. I will move through it with gratitude. 😉

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11:01 am. ;-)

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Floors mopped. Big achievement! Woot! Charlie is outside in his outside cage, swinging on a swing he refused to use until I took the broken down perch out. Now he is perching and singing and swinging quite happily. Weird little bird!

Like his human mother he does not readily accept change lmao.

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”What’s new Pussycat?”

“Nothing...what are you looking at, Cool Cat?”

“Don’t be cruel, Cat?” (yawns…I ate your little dog!)....runs screaming. Fade to black. Voice over “Honey I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore”. Mutter from behind the curtain “Can you stop mixing your metaphors and your fucking Musicals?!”

“Don’t drop the Fiddle off dat Roof, Mofo!”

“Don’t give up your day job”.

And that is how the fight started.

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11:11pm. Home from a fantastic night at Ecstatic Dance. I had a blast!

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Languishing in my hot Epsom Salt and milk bath after dancing myself into another universe this evening. My hair is sweaty too. Oh my. But I came home to my dog and did not continue my wildness at the casino as I don’t like him being locked in the house too long.

He refused to pee for ages when I got home but eventually let that flow go (hallelujah!) and is now happily munching on his bone (he was supposed to chew on that while I was out but no, he waits to celebrate dogginess after I get home!)

Anyway, I have no idea what band I am missing out on as the Treasury Casino forgot to update their calendar (even after I sent them a polite email to ask them to). So guess what? The place won’t fall apart if I miss one night. Lmao.

I am happy. Tired but happy. My side is sore but still happy.

I get to see my daughter for a brief while tomorrow so I am even happy about that. I am Donating lots of old towels and blankets for her to take to work to give to wildlife carers as they are in desperate need after the recent bushfires. So I am happy to help the animals and simultaneously declutter my laundry as well. :-)

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My doctor says I have a high intellect and a funny dark tumescent humour. That when I lose my temper I am Contained even as I flare up like a bushfire. That my face and body go very rigid but my eyes change colour and flash wildly.

I laughed. I said it must be very terrifying to the uninitiated. He replied “...and men like Dave!” I laughed. My worthy psychiatrist and our conjoined Jungian connection.

I adore that man.

He reminded that I have courted Death for years. I reminded him that Death keeps licking my eyeball and spitting me back into this life. (Why I almost feel rejected!) but I am getting older, wilder, more vulnerable and at times lonelier so I will be less seductive with Lady Death. Or rather She has me on a long long leash as I am still in pain after THAT Surgery so I just have a reprieve until I am offered more salubrious outcomes.

So I am nurturing and enjoying each day allotted to me now. Like sucking on an everlasting gobstopper.

Or as I described to my doctor, being a ballbearing skirting around the circular edges of my own Berserker life trying not to fall down the rabbit hole ..again.

I have fallen down so many that I am quite content on the flip side. Hell I even have my own Hat!

I am late late late for my own funeral and let’s face it, I am still waiting for my love life to blossom and to play grown ups again. Perpetual Childhood of a trauma survivor. Or eternal Sunshine in the Summerlands of the Berserker Faery Queen. Not quite Spotless mind but freckled and facile and fecund.

Aight!

Shabbat Shalom Kulam!

Mama T and her great great spirits are going dancing. (Soon we will battle the traffic!).

He also told me the constant pain above the drain site or in my liver could be fibroids in the surrounding tissue from the surgery which is why I get referred pain in my neck and down my right upper arm. (Feels like someone is dragging their finger down my arm from my shoulder in a forceful way). He is worried there is still something majorly wrong internally.

I am still struggling with fatigue and a labile mood.

So I decided to not overdo things by going dancing at the casino after Ecstatic Dance as I used to do. I need to look after my body and not be selfish to my dog-god.

I had a wonderful time at Ecstatic Dance tonight but came home afterwards as I had a fair bit of pain. No regrets. I got into my Zone and it was quite wonderful!

I played mischievously with my tribe of Ecstatic dancers. I love them all!

13 September 2018

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FML! I get out of bed, feeling fine. Then step outside after my morning ablutions, take one breath of the warm Spring air and immediately go into a huge asthmatic coughing fit. So I have had to stumble inside to locate my ventolin inhaler and try to quell the incessant cough. Tears running down my face from the strain.

I AM SO SICK OF BEING CONSTANTLY SICK WITH ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER. It is endless constant chronic bullshit suffering!

On a bright note: it’s a lovely day outside. I am going to just stay calm and nurture myself until this episode passes.

My psychiatrist noticed I was quiet and flat and withdrawn yesterday. So I told him about my fb wars dealing with vicious atrophied white supremacists and other bigoted types. Which genuinely exhausts me but I will not remain silent in the face of abuse. Ever!

So Mama T is going to keep herself pristine and quiet today. Warrior Goddess women need to heal after dealing with fucking ignoble idiots and their enablers.

Much love from Sacred Space 🙂

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Trigger warning: csa

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Feeling quite triggered after posting several albums of my former dead de facto stepfather’s photos on his memorial page that like a gimp I set up in case any of his remaining living relatives might want them.

Cees has been dead for almost 23 years this coming November.

Frankly I just feel like burning all the photos. Especially ones from the time period when he was newly in love with my mother but sexually harassing and attempting to molest me.

God I hated him so much. Hard to imagine I ended up being present with him for his death and defending him when my mad arsehole mother was humiliating him about the “dancing girls” and taking ownership of his car as he was slowly death-rattling.

Fuck that was horrible schadenfreude and thank god for Jarrod who supported me through that dark day in hell.

Of course the minute Cees died my mother became even more cruel and monstrous then 2 years later she hooked up with Buck Scherer as she had to have a man at any price (even at 70 years of age!)

Then she had found another fucking sociopath and a paedophile who tried to entice my young children to stay overnight in their home. Like hell!

Anyway, they are all dead now and I can live out my life free of all of their cumulative bullshit. (Or rather, that has been my plan for the past 6 years since the will dispute ended).

This year has been kinder to me, (apart from chronic poor health) I feel like life might finally blossom out for me.

Probably a sanguine delusion on my part. But what else can I do after barely surviving paedophiles in my childhood, a narcopathic mother, a narcissist sister, oh god oh god, the train wrecks of horror that just kept slamming me endlessly.

I can’t do this life anymore. But here I am doing it. Haha the cosmic trickster joke of a G-d keeps on whipping my psyche into line.

I just wanted one thing from life. Ok, two things. Safety and true love. Silly woman. Asked too much.

But thank you Australian government for my little house on the hill and my govt pension. (Safety!) Bare essentials. Check.

Love? Could happen. But I don’t believe in it any more. Look at what my mother’s desperation for cock and an expanded bank balance to come with it brought her.

I am trying not to laugh as it was such karma. And that makes me vulnerable to history repeating.

But I don’t chase cock or powerful men with lugubrious bank balances as I know that castles in the air are devoid of sanctity and security and I have seen the final outcome of all of that.

Getting older, sicker, frailer alone. That is my current fate. But all things are subject to Change without further notice.

I shall expect the unexpected and vex not over superficial false friends/lovers/former family who all just wanted to ride or writhe on The Tanya.

Well, they can just fuck off back to their original sources. 😉

The Tanya will be tribal dancing tomorrow night. In full flight!

13 September 2017

I have thrown out so much more paperwork. Only kept legal stuff (divorce/will dispute) for historical purposes as proof of how I was shafted by the system/lawyers/and former biological family members. Very distressing to go through it. So I ended up just putting it back on the shelf. But I culled all the extra stuff and stuff I had in my filing cabinet as well.

Feels good to purge the house of cluttered up crap.

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I went out in the spring overheat to buy a few groceries. Had to rush home as became unwell. Not cool! But oh well, such is life. I will rest in the garden under the umbrella with a nice cup of tea and try not to cry over my wasted existence.

Bobo is thrilled I came back home so quickly and loves his bones that I bought for him.

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4.38 am. Penny acting out under my bed. So I got woken up and had to put her outside! Grabbed a glass of water for myself. Back in bed. Used opportunity of early morning wake up call by indomitable insane Puss to have a pee and put Vaseline on my skin cancer wounds which are itchy and scabby.

Had epiphanies prompted by going through cards and old paperwork.

2000-2001. Worst years of my life. So much heartbreak but I fought back hard, escaped mother and Buck Scherer, took David D to Health Rights commission after several years of emotional abuse. Then badly affected by Sept 11, 2001. Moved away from Loganlea.

2005. Another cruel year (abuse and slander by Buck, ably supported by Systemic abuse (fake dvo etc)

Met Courtenay October 2005.

2007 major surgery

2008. Year of miracles and karmic resolutions. Gila exposes herself on National tv. Buck dies. My mother granny dumped in home by her conartist step children. I step up to the mark and start visiting her (wanting closure and reintegration of my psyche). Public trustee gives me her Chattels for safe keeping. (Dec 2008)

2010 mother's death then stressful ugly will dispute. End of relationship with Courtenay. Grieving!

2011. Will dispute so horrible. Frequently suicidal. Even in birthday cards, several friends and half-sister allude to it being a horrible year, they seem greatly worried about me.

2012. More ongoing stress with will dispute.

Death threat (in social circle)

Half-sister betrays me so cut ties to her permanently.

Receive small inheritance.

Start to reclaim my life after complete disarray by going dancing.

2014. Fall in love with another shadow man. Happy distraction from my constant suffering for a while but ultimately brings more suffering (cheating, false love, betrayals).

2015. Royal commission into institutional responses brings me into full blown advocacy for myself and other survivors. Unable to get justice personally but forces me to confront the fact that I was stymied in life by great evil and perverts since very early childhood.

Actual Suicide attempt after pernicious bullying, online and in my social circles and from former religious community members. Absolute horror but was supported once again by a few honourable people.

This was top ten of my worst years of my life. Barely survived it.

2016. Rebuilding from Emotional ground zero. Go off my meds in May. Get full haunting etc in June from dead ex lover. Health: teeth issues. Spend summer 2016/17 in extreme agony.

2017. More rebuilding. Health issues:teeth (I year since sep 16), now skin cancer. More emotionally grounded but still struggling to integrate my life. Grief and loss (relationships). Finally realising it was always going to be hopeless and I have done extremely well to survive these people.

After Reading the health rights complaint (2001) I realise I am a beautiful fierce righteous warrior and I am amazed I survived that year at all. If not for my children and a few close friends I would have died that year.

Mind blown. Heart: crazy strong determined courageous. Spirit: broken and rebuilt like a cracked egg.

Soul: intact but confused, but still preciously guarded and belongs to HaShem. Trickster god. Almighty. But Loyal to The Tanya (for some inexplicable reason).

Body: toned from dancing. Free of psych meds, gastro meds.

Skin breaking down (cancer). Teeth still not right (nerve pain). Bladder losing tone again after major surgery ten years ago which is terrifying. (Class actions against tvt mesh). Vision poor. Emotions: heartbroken. Eating healthier, thinking clearer but stymied by ongoing depression/ptsd/ suicidal ideation.

Much beloved by my pets, and few true friends which is my greatest blessing in life. Watching a few leave my life is painful but of course, inevitable.

Eagerly awaiting one of my daughter's return to Australia in December.

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13 September 2016

Dentist Done. One more appt Next month.

Aldi. Done.

Hungry Jacks. Inhaled.

Time to head home, unpack few groceries and rest.

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I fell over on my driveway while taking groceries out of the boot. Backwards. Landed on my arse but have slightly sprained my foot. Ridiculous.

So a nice cup of tea and back to bed I go. Fuck it!

13 September 2015

. Black dot to support people needing help with Domestic Violence.

; semi colon for suicide prevention

... For Life goes on

! For Fuck Dat Shit

? For Dazed and Confused

... And so it still goes!

My face shows so many punctuation marks I might not bother with the semi colon tattoo. All you need to do is read my wrinkles, my expression and look into my eyes. The eyes never lie.

Sherry: They were doing tattoos here of that sign.

Me: Yeah I painted one on the previous weekend with eyeliner. I really like it. Instead of the tear, that convicted killers put under the eye. I was tempted to make it permanent but by Saturday night I was over it.

I don't want to be mistaken for a whiny Borderline when my suicide attempts are usually triggered by trauma. As it was, the hospital mis-managed me. My Dr is writing a formal complaint to the P A Hospital and Qld Health.

But a semi colon is a really beautiful symbol or statement for a life "interrupted".

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New Year New Focus!

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L'Shanah Tovah Tikateivu u'metucha! (May you be inscribed in the Book of Life for a Good and Sweet year!)

The New Year has begun. I even lit my candles. I pray for a year of healing, peace, prosperity, love, so much love we are blessed (but not so much we are smothered lol).

I pray for Natural Justice. For Makom, finding G-d in strange places as I do on my nights out. For abundance, for happiness, for comfort with my true loves: my beautiful friends and my garden full of animals.

I pray that some day my daughters will appreciate and love me in spite of the hellish life we shared. That they stop blaming and hating me for having mental health issues. Trauma has cost me my life, my own precious children, very likely my grandchildren.

So I dance and watch the world in its various stages of decline and pray for a better world, where everyone is safe and loved with full bellies and even fuller hearts and minds. Full of goodness, fairness, dignity, integrity and strength to fight for one another to also have goodly lives.

I am alone but not alone in this fight for freedom from oppression, suppression and depression.

Each day the world begins anew. This is the turning of not just a new day, but a New Year.

Please G-d it is a better one for all.

13 September 2014

I am home. In my cave. Sleeping, healing, processing. It's been a heavy few weeks.

I am glad I had a nice time out last night.

My health is not great but rest will do me good.

3.55am Home, in a hot bath after a great night out dancing with Transvaal Diamond Syndicate at Lefty's, then later at the pub, then after that I hung out with George for a couple of hours. Karen and I had a lovely time.

I ran into Steph outside the casino and teased him about ignoring me. He invited us back to pub with him, danced to two songs then left. I can't work that man out. Seriously. He's more avoidant than me and that is saying something. Still it was nice to catch up and hang out even for a short while.

I got home to discover I have lost my new MASS glasses (the screw broke in them other day and I had them sellotaped up!) so losing them completely, is going to be such a fuck up as to get another pair will be like impossible as they only give them to you every 2 years. I can't possibly go another 2 years with bad glasses... so I guess I will have to put a pair on layby and slowly pay them off.

I am so annoyed and upset with myself as even though they were poor quality they were a new prescription and it was nice to be able to watch tv again and see the finer details.

I'll ring around tomorrow in the hope that someone handed them in.

13 September 2012

I now have my new car! I am so in love with it. Crazy to feel such intense feelings for a Machine but she's a Beauty! She also represents my new life of free-wheeling, adventure and Happiness! Bliss Out!

My new mattress arrived yesterday and it was like sleeping on Cloud 9. Just Delightful!

13 September 2011

I slept until 2 pm then had a visit from Gail, then spent the late afternoon and early night, you guessed it, still weeding out the bindis and graduated to the Dandelions as well (cos I could see them in the dark or more accurately the little shadowy patches they show up as in the dark). Was enjoying the full moon and the music on my mp3 player and came inside when it got colder and I got tired.

13 September 2010

Court tomorrow so a tad nervous but I know my lawyer will make sure the ugly salacious stuff gets retracted. Woohoo! I'm not looking forward to clapping eyes on that evil snivelling money-grubbing Bitch Scherer but on the upside, she's guaranteed to make another huge fool of herself, so that will be at least some small recompense for the hell she's put me through.

…

Still very wheezy and chesty but had a spurt of energy for two days. Yesterday I steam cleaned the velvet drapes I brought home from Mum's 2 years ago with a new steamer Courtenay bought me.

Today I waterpressured the front pathways to clean the mould lichen and other slippery stuff off the concrete. Heaps more to do so will have to pace myself LOL.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons