Memories: 10 September 2025

10 September 2025

6:49 am courage under fire, courage in your loins, courage in your corazon (heart). Courage in your Becoming. Hold your line. Keep your mind focused. Clean and clear. Let no one grind you down. Turn you weak and docile and munted. The poisoned generation can’t stand in their own authority. They were terrorised into submission.

Arise and awaken from your Zombie Sleep, Beloved ones. Every hand on deck. Every mind honed like steel. We are going to need you to stand in your own souls and Be all you can be. Even the sickened, lost and betrayed. Know whom you are. Humans. Spirits having a human experience. You are capable of great things. (Even when breathing is fraught).

Look how far you have come. What great evils you have survived. Then laugh. It’s all a game. The only way to win is not to play to others’ destructive immolating whimsies. They are flimsy as fuck and deep down they know it.

The greatest weapon against “Them” is Love…and courage. A stubborn heart always wins…even if she loses. The loss is a winnowing and a whelping, but she shakes off the fleas and pestilence of others’ hate and weakness and atrophies…and she rises and shines. It’s been a repeat pattern in my life, made more complicated by governMENTAL genociders and the pissweak generation.

I need to remind you of your courage, your strength, your MANA. Breathe…we’ve got this. There is still beauty, creativity and bliss on the other side of this darkness. Shine your light…even if you have but a dim glow. Others will truly See you. Know your spirit when they meet it. Be inspired. Be encouraged. Whetted and honed like elvish steel.

You are not alone. You are loved. You are brave.

End of transmission.

10 September 2024

10 September 2023

Today’s gifts from Sacred Space @Titania’s Realm. Gratitude to the gods/fae/angels and the Holy one!

Rosh Hashanah is coming on 15th-17th September 2023!

Wishing all my beloved Jewish friends and family a beautiful bright blessed safe love filled joyous healthy and prosperous Year.

Much love from The Tanya.

10 September 2022

10 September 2021

3:39 am I have woken up with the most intense sciatica pain in my left buttock. It was excruciating to get up to go to the loo!

Arggghhhh. I am so sick of varied and chronic pain! It’s been endless!

I will have to stay in bed tomorrow or rest as much as possible. I don’t know how I hurt my sciatica as I didn’t do anything much yesterday. Ridiculous!

I had a lot of burning nerve pain in my left foot yesterday too, so I suspect the nerve pain is connected.

My neck is sore and feels out of alignment too. Blech!

I will summon my usual self healing prowess and pray for an easy few days as I writhe in agony! Back to sleep I go!

10 September 2020

The housing plumber contractor is here. I asked them to test my gas line as my bill is wayyy too high, and to fix the stove top.

He is ordering a new gas oven/stove as it has been repaired so many times and still not quite right. He is still checking the gas mains.

I am Happy about getting a new stove as cooking has been difficult with only two elements working for the past year.

I am still anxious about a possible gas leak though. Will know shortly.

10 September 2019

Some days I realise I am only staying alive for my dog. I brought him into my life to be an emotional assistance animal. Because I am lonely and my friends cannot always be there with me. (I am too much of a burden!).

So I look at my dog (my “dogtor” who along with my cat Penny comforted me through the last 11 weeks after surgery) and I think, I cannot ever leave you. Your lifespan is so short so I must grit my teeth and hold on.

It’s been a rough week. But I have gotten through much more awful weeks/years/decades.

Maybe my emotions are raw because now my body is almost healed it has given permission for my emotions to vent. And vent. And vent. In a silent streaming primal scream 😉.

Anyway. This too shall pass.

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10 September 2018

Well lol, my new year started not with a whimper but with a bang. Fighting with trolls, morons and bigots on FB because I cannot stand oppression and the subversion of Truth.

So if this new Jewish year is gonna continue like this. Better gird my loins. As a Jew (I fought one troll about circumcision practises) and as a Witch (I fought another troll just now on Ban 1080 because anytime a woman disagrees, we are branded as witches!)

Gods I love it. So many dickheads and so little time for evil concurrent bullshit.

But hear Ye hear Ye Fascism and Nazism is on the rise. It has been growing exponentially since Trump slip slid his greasy palmed toupéed disgusting arse into power.

And I (labelled a hypocrite!) which is a shoe that fits as I am a composite of every filthy nightmare a woman can be. I am survivor of paedophiles, one a concentration camp survivor, and my own German mother with her own sadistic greedy tendencies and then a survivor of my own salacious vicious former jewish community, has formed the mind, body, soul of a woman who takes no shit and if you must put shit on me… some people are perverted like that, I will always always transmute it into spiritual gold.

Ahem! Why not? She who has no money or love or luck has higher realms of existence to play on. There is much work to do on the higher planes where Truth is absolute only in the mind of G-d and Humans are expendable capricious Demi-gods on their own psychotic ego trip.

But I digress...

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Life is a spiral of energy, whirling in orderly chaos in a benevolent universe. Itself bumping and grinding against multiverses.

So much dysfunction and perversion and dischord in our world. But the Wise Ones take the unravelling weft and warp and cut away the snarls and tangles and create a fabric of time and space that cannot be rendered asunder by mere mortals.

We all have a role to play on our cosmic conscious tribal diatribe to maintain our vibe and be creators of new life and new worlds (on our own planet) that nourish and protect all life: even the wormed ones, with worm tongues and fake personae who lack the courage of their convictions or their moral decency.

I shall lay down my ire before I give myself a stroke. But Like cures Like and fire and fury and passion is what fuels me.

Someone take me to Byron Bay so I can decompress from the stress of dealing with ignoble fools.

Fuck it. I will take myself. I don’t need any psychic vampires to drain me. I had a lifetime of those. Ugh!

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Note to Self (and well-worn advice I just gave to a stranger on FB).

Never ever let the bastards grind you (or me!) down!

New life, new paradigm, beautiful Day, sunshine in my hair, love in my heart, wipe the blood from my eyes and breathe. I got this!

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10 September 2017

11.09 am. Awake. Out of bed. My body feels like a decrepit rusting old hunk of a defective 1965 mustang. My skin cancer sites (burnt out with a laser) are sore and angry. Probably from over-doing the frenetic dancing. Two nights. Awesome. But my flesh says No while my mind still says "let's go!"

My first thought this morning upon awakening was that I feel like I have turned a corner. Nice little fantasy but we shall see.

Charlie is hanging off my t shirt, kissing me constantly. He loves his Mama T. It's a glorious day. If I had the cash I would drive to Byron right now. But I am still exhausted anyway so it is well that I rest my 52 year old shell-shocked shellacked skin and muscles and dream a while.

I have had a beautiful weekend so far with lots of loving nurturing support from my true and beautiful friends.

I love you!

I was going through an old diary, some haphazard notes and came upon a book recommendation from my former much beloved friend Heather Abramson. The book title is The Hare with Amber Eyes. So I bought a copy from Book Depository.

I have begun reading it and the writing is so sublime. Ironically one of the characters is called Gisela (haunted much?) but I am yet to find out what she is like. Gisela is not a very common German name so the irony is not lost on me.

The book is about a Jewish man living in Japan and his exquisite Netsuke collection. Netsuke are tiny carvings made from wood and ivory.

Heather probably recommended the book as she knew I like collecting things and have a few shadow boxes full of random miniature stuff. Nothing of any real value but just my quirky sense of holding onto trinkets from my past.

I think if I had money a Netsuke collection would have adorned my antique printers' block rather delightfully.

Anyway, sometimes I miss my friend but I can't really miss the betrayals and the devaluation I endured though. Some people leave indelible marks on your heart but the soul knows better. Love remains, albeit charred and calcified long after the people who sought out my light then ultimately quashed it, have sauntered on their way.

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In the early hours of this morning, in full-blown Berserker revelry, my exhausted but driven body was swaying sinuously to the thromping beat of the dj (who rather weirdly was mixing one good song followed by weird house songs which I detest but he was spinning them alternately so I considered that reasonable enough).

Anyway, moments of utter boredom came over me, complexly blended with adrenaline rush and alcohol fuelled turbo-charged suprahuman delights. My friend, Len had randomly and unexpectedly gifted me 3 drinks and a much desired and needed glass full of peanuts and soy nibbles (omg what bliss! I had actually stated earlier to my beautiful Karen that I craved something salty. Hours later the gods heard my prayer. Wow!)

Anyway in the way of weirdness and random acts of sublime generosity and kindness, (thanks for the drink Morris! I paced myself and thoroughly enjoyed it!) a rather unusual thing happened.

I espied in the suddenly surging crowd (the place exploded with revellers at 3 am) a young man with the most glorious long curly brown hair that fell down his back and a rather attractive face. He looked over at me and I shot him a grin but kept dancing but quietly observed his movements. The boy had the rhythm and Joie de Vivre of a soulmate. Hahahaha.

So, jocular and mischievous I yelled out "Well lookie there, that man got all the moves, Baby!" He grinned back, danced around my vicinity then suddenly bounced over to me like a spring lamb and without any warning nor malicious intent, threw his arms around me in a strong affirmative and soul-loving hug.

I in turn, threw my arms around him (it was unexpectedly mutual, like we had known each other for years!) and we stood there on my spot, hugging for about 10 seconds. I was consciously aware that my breasts were squeezed tight against his chest and I started to retreat a little into myself, but we held the embrace for a few seconds longer before he pulled away from me and leapt back into the crowd with a gleeful assurance and a hubris. I laughed to myself. How wonderful!

I kept dancing but watched who he bounded over to and sure enough he went right up to another devil-may-care dude with long, very straight grey hair. Nice looking. Ahh yes, I thought. I had noticed him a few weeks ago.

It must have been a dare. Hmmm. Never mind, as the handsome silver fox and his brown haired brother glanced over at me, I shot them a grin of acknowledgement.

The best hug from a stranger I have had in a very long time. Very comforting and warm and non-threatening. Nice little display of oxytocin bonding. So someone (I am not sure which trickster god parlayed that engagement) has egg on their face!

Love is unconditional. Baby got all the moves and big brother is watching and Mama T is triumphantly, deliciously aware and content.

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Watching Disjointed! Hilarious.

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I made egg drop soup for dinner from a recipe on fb. Tastes delicious. Feeling almost domesticated.

10 September 2016

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10 September 2015

Feeling blessed to have wonderful loving friends, human and non-human.

I have spent some time in the garden. I moved some goldfish roe attached to my spawning mops into the little pond at the back. Hopefully in 3 weeks time there will be babies! I watered most of the garden. I just need to do the front.

I am feeling rather mellow and still very weary but it is good to be nice and serene and content with my lot.

Especially after the roller coaster ride of 3 weeks ago. Wow, time flies.

Tomorrow I go to get my stitches out. A week late as I missed my appointment. It will feel good to have them gone. They have been driving me nuts. Literally hahaha. At least I won't look like my angel's wings have been sawn off anymore. The scars won't be too noticeable in a few months. Better than cancer too!

I haven't heard from Crystal but she is working on a project so that is good.

I think I will make some food. Hungry Mama.

10 September 2014

I have serious neck pain. It's been sore on and off for a week from moshing like a teenager. Helping lift heavy stuff out of my house has made it sore again. I think my neck is out of alignment. I might have to hang upside down in a tree somewhere :-). I always was a Fruit Bat!

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My neck hurts, my back hurts, my hips hurt and my teeth are aching. I feel exhausted. This is psychosomatic. I will be fine! Tomorrow! And tomorrow...

Cooking sweet potato chips and having a nice cup of tea. :-)

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Lyn came to visit and we sat out in the sunshine, smoked and chatted. It is a gorgeous day. My emotions are still very rattled so now, I am lying on my bed with my trusty (protective and concerned companion, Penny) watching over me.

Socks is in lounge room, moaning and snoring as he sleeps. Sophie is on my bed too, on the right side, peacefully watching me and snoozing. It took a while but Penny finally permits her to sleep on my bed. As long as she isn't too close to De Mama and stays on "her" side it's all good in da 'hood!

Crystal has my car and I have a craving for Maccas or some other junk food. Dammit! I will have to cook tonight! I took beef stir fry out yesterday so I just have to cook it!

The Full Moon makes me want to Partay!

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To all my beautiful wild, strong, awesome friends. I want you to know that I love you. We are living in difficult times in a world driven by sex, violence and money.

I often feel lost and broken. It's ok. It's a moment in time. It passes, just as quickly as the joyous emotions. We are on a journey together. You hold my hand and pull me from the depths by my hair at times.

Sometimes I give you a boost up to the next level in the game of Life. Sometimes we are just in a massive centrifugal machine floating out of control apposite gravity (wheee!) and other times we hit the wall at 100 miles an hour and slam dunk in a heap.

So remember that everything is temporary and everything has its season and really will make sense at the end and smile! You are Loved and Seen and Blessed.

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I just cooked dinner, beef stir fry with heaps of vegetables and hokkein noodles and coconut cream. Delicious!

I was hungry and devoured a huge bowlful.

10 September 2013

just had to debrief a very mentally ill friend on the phone. Our health system is failing her. I am livid beyond belief. All I could tell her was to take a Valium, have a cup of tea and go to bed for now, and if she gets worse to call 000 and demand to be taken in to hospital.

I hope she will be ok. She is not threatening suicide but very depressed. I offered to take her into hospital and she backed down. So hmmm.

Hopefully she will be calmer in the morning, or I will be taking her in to hospital myself.

10 September 2012

I take Delivery of my new Red Metallic Chariot on Thursday arvo! OMG it's so amazing!

My foot has been hurting from where I got Septic Arthritis, so having wheels will be a Blessing!

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On Wednesday, my new Mattress will be delivered! Woohoo! No more lying on a mattress that Cees was dying on for 2 years. I think after 17 years I deserve a fresh one! It's so Cool!

A new car, new mattress...new Life! I have waited so long for this Refresh Button on my Life Blueprint to be hit! It's so wonderful!

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Busy month.... 30 Sept. Punk Reunion @ Nundah with Gail, then 5 Oct the Hipshooters at West End. Awesomeness!

10 September 2011

I'm loving watching "The Owl and The Pussycat". I stumbled upon it randomly 20 minutes into the scene where a very young Babs takes off her furcoat, adorned in the most outrageous pjs I've ever seen, (where can I get some!) and a very neurotic Dreyfus (I think it's him!) freaking out.

The hilarious part is, it sort of reminds me of myself. Should I worry????!!!! Maybe it's why I keep getting "Runners" LMAO. Schmeh, I'm happy!

10 September 2010

My Crystal visited me tonight, all excited and glittering about going to Paris to study with The Gaulier School of Clowning at Sceaux. I feel so excited for her.

I hope she gets the Grant and I wish I could inherit money so I could go with her for a month. That would have been awesome. I guess I will be living vicariously through her wonderful experiences and I am so very happy and proud of my girl!

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Slept a lot today, still very chesty...feel like death warmed up...situation normal LOL

10 September 2009

Facebook, the art of losing Face or refusing to be Faceless in an internationally recognised global social network. Am I off my Face? Which face would you like? The face I show to the world or the face I have to face in the mirror which is only a reflection of my inner Face? The fake face of Fallacy or the face of Reality or the factual basis that I am at peace with my facile tendencies to meet Life Face On.

I may be outta my mind, beside myself, not in touch with reality, delectably detached or remotely interested but face it people...THERE IS NO TEXTBOOK FOR SANITY. BBL when I can stop trying to impress myself. LOL

10 September 2008

has evidence that she was surrounded by fricken maniacs…watched today tonight tonight....smug smile.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons