Listening To My Thoughts
Getting My Writing Groove Back
December 4, 2025
I have not been writing for a while. I had a lot going on over the past few months that hindered my creative mind. My PTSD regarding my ex-husband. I read a lot of books to help me through my dealings with my abusive husband. I had my genuine validation when he was sentenced to 15 years by a judge last year.
Last month, I had a court date with my ex-husband; he did not even serve me properly for it. I did not break any law, but I had to endure him asking me the same question over and over again, which was out of the scope of the case he supposedly filed.
If I listen to my thoughts, it may give the judge the right to dismiss the case without prejudice. I have retained a paid attorney. I am not mentally equipped to handle the legal paperwork for this case. I also had memories of the physical, mental, financial, and emotional abuse in that marriage. Having to deal with it over and over again was not a merry-go-round I chose to try to avoid.
Thankfully, I had the option to choose a video or phone court date in this case. I chose the phone because seeing him would bring back bad memories. I had a physical response from seeing my ex-husband, hyperfitalation or body shakes. No matter how much positive self-talk I gave myself, I would still have body shakes in the past.
If some people are jealous of my life and want it, they would be sadly disappointed. I would not wish my life on anyone. I had to read a lot of books and seek help from the right people to get to the freedom I have now.
Getting help from the wrong source can indeed put your life in so many setbacks. The best mentor I had was my grandparents and spiritual guides. Life can be a maze if you keep making the wrong decisions and not listening to your inner wisdom.
Wants and needs are two different things. I need peace, and that's where I am at now, self-care. I used to put everyone before myself. Now, I think of my needs first. That does not mean I stop helping in my community, or when someone needs help, I will ignore them. I know my limits and capacity without losing myself in the process.
I have a new primary, and I do not have a good feeling about this person. You have to choose a primary care provider who is a good fit for your health needs. I need a primary care provider who can explain things to me in layperson's terms, not just give me prescriptions.
Yes, this story title reflects my thoughts. My story is about how I listen to my thoughts. Sometimes, when I do not like my thoughts. I turn to music to suppress my thoughts. Music sometimes gives me better vibrations about what's going on, or reflects them.
I really do not like it when my fear thoughts get the best of me. It feels like I am frozen in time. I have to get help outside myself. My thoughts can no longer serve me when I am in a fearful state of mind. I feel like I am in a state of paralysis. When you are in a State of paralysis, you have to wait until your body is in sync with your mind.
I have not been able to write lately because my mind has felt paralyzed. I had to find a way to get back in the groove again. This is my start in avoiding negative thoughts.
Madonna , Into The Goove (official Video)
About the Creator
Mariann Carroll
Proactive for positive change.Born in the City of Chicago ,Illinois.
Multi race .Studied in a foreign country .Fluent in several languages .
fascinated by diversity.A Romantic and a dreamer.Interest in healthy living
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Comments (29)
Dear Mariann ~ I've missed you! Didja see our Doc Sherwood is back in our VillageBucket. Please interview him again - He was so much fun back when. btw; I tried to leave a Happy New Year to all at VSS, but I'm still frozen out since Mikey and I were months ago. Please send your peeps my best..! Jay Kantor, Vocal Village Author
I have been through something very similar, so I can understand how hard it is for you! And how strong you have to be to go through this all. I remember getting panic attacks and passing out in super markets and such places from seeing someone who resembled my ex... It's awful, nobody should experience such things. Here's to healing and growing from this in 2026 🧡 and getting our groove back! Sending you hugs!
Congratulations on your work 💯🥰😘 🎊 👏 💐
Mariann, thank you for trusting us with something so personal and raw. Your honesty, resilience, and self-awareness truly come through in this piece. The way you describe listening to your thoughts...and knowing when to seek help...will resonate deeply with many. Writing again itself is an act of courage. Wishing you continued strength, peace, and healing. 💛✨
I appreciate your honesty, thanks for trusting everyone with your story.
Sending love.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Returning, Mariann, to congratulate you on this week's leadership board placement❣
Congrats in your leaderboard placement!
Mariann, thank you for sharing this! Love the music too. Congratulations on your top story!😊💕💗
Mariann, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm very proud of you taking up for yourself and taking the time you need to become stronger within. It takes courage and energy, this fight for life!
I understand your journey all too well, Mariann, and I am sending you a big virtual hug. Take your time, be kind to yourself, and I suggest finding a new doctor. I know it might be a bit of a pain in the behind, but if you don't feel a human connection, then they are not for you. Congratulations on your top story❣👏👏🥰
I hope your words can also help someone else on the same journey. It sounds like a difficult uphill one, but a mountain you can conquer.
Hi, I’m relatively new here (joined in July), so this is your first piece that I’ve read. You may enjoy this creator if you’re not already familiar with her(and please check out my work, too): https://shopping-feedback.today/author/the-honed-crone%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">
Hey Marianne, trust me, a lot of people are rooting for you! You're displaying a lot of courage, by allowing yourself to be so emotionally raw and open. The journey is what matters, not the destination. You are doing better than you think. Remember, your intuition is wiser than your fear. Keeping fighting the good fight. Be brave, always.
I have used writing to process a lot of difficult things in my own life. I find there's great power in getting the thoughts that plague you out of your brain and onto paper. Most recently I have discovered it's even more powerful when I publish them. It's like I'm taking back my power and telling the world I will not be ruled by what was done to me. I truly hope you find that same release and redemption through your writing. More importantly, thank you for being brave. Sharing how you have overcome your struggles helps more than just you. There may very well be some person who reads this and thinks, if Marianne can break free of her abusive partner, so can I.
CONGRATS ON TOP STORY QUEEN!
The way you describe listening to your thoughts feels so honest and relatable many will find comfort in your words.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
I'm so sorry that you're going through this 🥺 I really hope you feel better soon. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way, Mariann. You’ve been carrying so much, and the fact that you’re writing again, even a little, is such a powerful step toward healing. Keep writing, even in baby steps if you have too!
Proud of you my dear friend, trauma is a dreadful barrier it paralyzes us and can really push creativity down. Hugs from me to you
This was so real and so raw! Honestly? Proud of you for putting this down. It feels like someone finally opening the windows in a house that's been locked up too long. You’re officially back in your writing groove, my friend and the groove missed you. 😎💖
You are a terrific person and writer, and you are trying to move forward and slowly succeeding in what you need to do. Keep up the good work. Great job on the article.
Your resilience and positive attitude are admirable! Praying 4 you! Thx 4 including the fun Madonna clip! I'm about to go check it out now! 😁