Life goals and fulfilment

How do we find fulfillment in our lives? How is it so easy for some people and a serious struggle for others? I find myself questioning what I really want to do with my life after completing school. I’ve been pursuing a bachelor’s in psychology for the last 4 and a half years and will finally achieve that this December. I had a vague goal of what I wanted to do once, but then lost interest and couldn’t find anything else I’d even want to do. I feel like we all go through an endless cycle of growing up, going to, school, either continuing our education or finding a job right out of high school. But for those who choose to continue their education, they typically have a goal in mind. Either this or they were forced to go to college because of their parents. But after we graduate, many find a job and just work whether they like it or not. This is my problem, for a very long time I didn’t know what to do with my psychology degree anymore. I know I wanted to help others, but at the same time I struggle with anxiety and not wanting to be surrounded by people. I want a simple job that allows me to be behind the scenes yet I still want to do a lot and be a part of something or a group that would find it difficult to let me go because I’m so good at my job. Whatever job that could be.

This led me to also think a lot about what if I get a job and don’t want to stay there? Is it okay to just leave and get another one? Why is that so frowned upon? Typically, adolescents have it figured out with finding different types of jobs they would want, but I’m 23 and never had a real job outside work-study my first two years of college. This makes me feel like my time is running out to have something stable and to work in a field that I truly enjoy working in. I guess I have to keep telling myself that it’s okay to not know what you want to do yet. Even if my life is a mess right now, I still have time to figure it out. I believe once I do figure it will so much more worth the search.

Even more recently I feel like I’ve been having a lot of epiphanies. My job choices switched so often my parents never knew which one I was on next. Whenever people would ask me what I wanted to do, I would always shrink and tell them I’m not sure but give some general idea of what I wanted to do. This usually left me feeling bad about myself for some reason like I needed to figure it all out right then. It didn’t help that I was graduating very soon. After quite a few times of people asking me what I wanted to do or what was I going to do with a psychology major and me telling them I don’t know, I actually got tired of it and decided to just make up something. Fake it till you make it has gotten me through so much. But after telling people a specific field I wanted to go into, I eventually thought of something that I really wanted to do and that was physical therapy. It was along the lines of behavioral therapy. Which is what I was telling people I planned on doing which I still actually plan on trying to do as well. And if one doesn’t work out then I’m okay with that. But I’ve decided to strive toward one goal full force and if my mind changes later then it’s okay. I’ve entered a field where I could go into nearly anything and I already have half the qualifications. I think that’s all I needed. To have something and feel committed even if I wasn’t. That may sound a bit dumb but saying out loud that you want a specific thing and trying to make that thing happen opens up mental blocks and can allow you to discover what you really want to do.