Letting Go | People | Business

I'm in a season where things changed, and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I was crying, not understanding life, grieving, and feeling lost and abandoned.

I lost my father in love in November of last year and, I did what I could to be there for my husband, but I neglected myself, my feelings, my sadness. I ignored me, which was the worst decision ever.

I also felt like I was drowning in my business. I had no help running it, and don't even get me started with how it made me feel like I had to show up without any kind of pauses.

Doing anything for my business Instagram page made me feel extreme anxiety. All I saw on the platform was coach-this, ad-this, webinar-that. It was overwhelming me. I couldn't even enjoy my Explore page without someone saying something related to business. I was mentally stressed out.

I knew pauses were necessary for my business, but I was beyond this point. I was ready to delete my entire page, take down my LLC, and never look back. I was exhausted. I didn't self-care enough, didn't have a good mindset, and most importantly, I loved writing, but making it a job made me not enjoy it. I had some amazing clients, but I didn't have enough time to write for ME. Here I go again, doing something for someone else but nothing for myself.

I thought about letting my business go for a while, but I knew that God called me to be a writer. How can I not run my business if He called me to help others publish their books? I concluded He didn't want me to run it this way; burnt out, grieving, lost, and confused. Plus, I had these unhealthy views of my social media page.

I stopped everything. I knew God was going to love me no matter the decision I made. I also knew that He knew that I would stop anyway.

I told my sister-cousins that I was removing my business page off my phone, never to revisit it, lol. They supported me, and it's been the best decision EVER! And I decided to delete over 800 people from my Facebook account. I barely knew of those people anyway, so why keep them?

I started over and created a whole new Instagram dedicated to photographs, film, writing, books, and anything my big heart desires. I am doing it all for fun, not for money. I can't do things for other people without doing them for myself. If someone wants help writing a book, I'll help, but from a different point of view.

I say all this to say letting go and starting fresh allows your heart and mind to be free. Feeling freedom is the biggest blessing and flex of all. I've allowed myself to be in a box way too long. I knew it was time to branch out and find myself.

Since I left my business page, I've written more now than I have in a very long time. And seeing that there are no barriers for me to get through feels so good. I will say leaving my old Instagram felt wrong at first, but now it's refreshing.

This time around, I'm choosing to be bold and honest with myself and others with what I need. You have to take control of your life, or it will take control of you. I'm happy to say I've found where I need to be. I don't feel lost anymore. If anything, I feel free, and this is just the beginning.