Lessons I hope I can teach my daughters

It has been a tough week for me - where my character and my personhood and my faith have been truly tested by the circumstances of life. And this got me thinking... am I preparing my children for this? What do I want them to know about how to approach life every single day? What is important? Can I put my values, my character, and those lessons in to words? So I sat down and wrote this checklist.

- when the world is gloomy, don’t just look for the sunshine, BE the sunshine. ☀️ Do something nice for someone, smile at a stranger, bake a special treat for a neighbor for no reason. It will absolutely change your day!

- don't be passively aggressive, be positvely agressive! Don't use the silent treatment, don't say something sarcastically - be BOLD. Say what you mean and mean what you say with tact - a neutral tone and own it! You are not responsible for what others do, say, or how they respond or react for that information. ADVOCATE. FOR. YOURSELF.

- don’t get caught in the negativity. Find the positive perspective, because there is always one, and focus on that. Negativity weighs you down but focusing on the positive can get you through and propel you forward.

- don’t overthink things. What’s done is done, what’s said is said, and wasting a single hour on the shoulda coulda wouldas will only bog you down. Focus on the present. Be solid in your core beliefs. Be true to yourself and your values.

- don’t expect you from other people. You are a completely unique individual just like everyone else on the planet. No one else on this earth thinks or feels or responds to things the way that you do. Embrace that about yourself but give grace to others who think, feel, and respond differently to the world. Learn to coexist with differences and celebrate them!

- learn how to make boundaries with yourself and others. Protect your peace and personhood by learning to be OK with saying NO to places, situations, and people that do not serve you or align with your values and the life you want for yourself. It is OK to be selfish sometimes. It is OK to say that is not for me. Again be true to who you are and what you want out of life.

- learn to use the word NO. No is an entire, whole, and complete answer. You do not owe anyone an explanation. No is a boundary. No is OK. No means NO. NO is a full sentence.

- Do NOT wait to strive for your dreams. Work at what you want a little bit everyday! Want to be a writer? Write a sentence a day. Want to make animation, draw a little every day. Want to be a baker? Make a special treat or plan a recipe to try every day. Look for inspiration, establish habits that are aligned with your goals, and remember that imperfect progress and baby steps is still progress!

- Give yourself grace, always! You will fall down and fail sometimes. You will not always say or do the right thing. You will mess up. You will break down. Accept the bruises and the heartache. Make space for them - feel the hurt and the pain. It is OK to not be OK sometimes. It will make you stronger if you choose to get back up and keep going.

- ask for help when you need it. We were not made to do life alone. We are made for love and community and relationship. When you struggle - turn to your circle - your family, your friends, your significant other. Speak your needs with clarity. Allow space for people to help you, to offer advice, and hugs, and assistance. We all need help from time to time and there is no shame in it!

- Don’t be taken advantage of. Don’t let people mistake your kindness and positivity for weakness. Remember your boundaries.

-travel, make memories, live life to the fullest - tomorrow is not promised!

- and know that your mom is always here for you, cheering you on, supporting you, praying for you, always available for a hug, a ride home, a sounding board, and all the love in the world.

I hope I can do this justice. I am a work in progress. I struggle, daily. but I can always say I gave today my best, always. I hope that someone sees that. I hope it matters. I hope I make a difference.