Is This The Beginning?

I know he’ll never admit it. He’ll be in denial until the day he dies. It’s just the way he is but most of all, the road down which he’s headed.

summer of 2022

Rich seems to forget to close cabinet doors. For instance, he rarely closes the door to the medicine cabinet.

He also forgets, on occasion, to close the kitchen cabinet door after he takes out a glass or coffee mug.

In July, of 2022, he was out fishing with a friend/neighbor and tripped over a tackle box. He fell backwards and was unconscious for about five minutes. Upon awakening, he couldn’t remember our friend’s name, where he was and why he was there. He also didn’t remember what year it was. The ambulance was called and took him to the hospital. Diagnoses were a mild concussion and severely bruised ribs.

fall of 2022

In addition to the above, he said he was going to the supermarket for milk and bread. He came back with butter and potato chips. I asked him where the milk and bread were. “Oops, he forgot all about them”.

A few days later, I’d gone to the supermarket for the juice he likes, milk, bread, and a few other items. Upon returning home, I told him his juice (which doesn’t need refrigeration until opened) was in the pantry. One hour later, he told me I’d forgotten to buy it. I told him, again, it was in the pantry. He told me it wasn’t. After turning on the light in that little storage room, I pointed to the shelf and said, “There it is.” “Oops, didn’t see it,” he said.

sometime in the early part of 2023.

In addition to the above, he now forgets to turn off lights upon leaving a room. There are two switches in the hallway leading to our bedroom. One at the door and the other as you enter the bedroom. He’ll turn on the light at the doorway and then forget to turn it off once he’s in the bedroom.

Very often, he’ll head to the store (usually Home Depot) and once there, realize he’s forgotten his wallet. This happens usually about three times a month.

He has shown signs of forgetting where he laid his cellphone.

autumn 2023

In addition to all the above, which still continues, he’s shown signs of forgetting the names of old friends. He’ll want to tell me about a conversation he had with a friend he met and will always say, “you know him. He’s in our fishing club.” There are over 200 members in our fishing club. Then he’ll say, “He has gray hair.” So do about 70% of our members.

I also noticed his tastes in food seem to be changing a bit. Things he enjoyed before are not as enjoyable for him. He picks at his food more often than not.

summer 2023

The men on our street and a few that have moved away, decided to get together, and take one of our former neighbors out to dinner for his birthday. The neighbor who is organizing this dinner knocked on our door with the invitation for Rich. I heard him say the date and immediately wrote it down on the calendar. A day later, Rich swore I had the wrong date and insisted it was the week before our friend's birthday. I told him the date was the 24th of the month since that was our former neighbor’s actual birthday. He told me I was wrong. On the 18th, he put on good clothes and sat. He waited. Waited some more and finally called the organizer of this little party who told Rich the date was the 24th, NOT the 18th. Rich was so upset, he began pounding on the couch, right behind where I was sitting. He only stopped when I said, “If you hit me, I’m hitting back.” He walked away.

About an hour later, I was on the phone with a friend who’d moved from our neighborhood about six years prior. Rich asked me who was on the phone. I told him. He said he didn’t know her. I said she used to live about five houses down and was at all our parties. He said she was not and didn’t know her. I said she was also at the parties our other neighbors hosted. Again, he said she was not and didn’t know her. Then I said, “Do you remember the little black and white dog with the lame leg? Her name was Anna?” Yep, he remembered the dog. “That dog was owned by Carol and her husband.” Then he argued about the house where she lived before moving.

He’ll put on the TV (whether TV or Netflix), then swear what he’s watching, he’d never seen before. I begin telling him what the story is about. He doesn’t remember. Now, I let him watch is “new” movie and I pick up my book and read.

I watched my mom go from a healthy-minded teacher to a woman to couldn’t remember how to speak. She’d sit in her wheelchair and just stare at nothing. That was her condition for the last three years of her life.

In addition to taking care of my mom, I’m now a caregiver to a woman who suffers from dementia. Let me rephrase that. Her husband suffers from her dementia. Mrs. P. has no idea she has it. She’s non-verbal and has no physical skills and has no memory of what a toilet is for.

Watching my husband closely, he seems to be following that same pattern as my mom. Forgetting the small things is usually the beginning. He is now 82 years of age. My mom lived until right before her 96th birthday. Mrs. P. is 78 but her mind, so far, is the only trouble she has. She could live another 10 years in her current state.

My husband? With his family history, all his siblings passed away before their 85th birthday so only time will tell but it’s going to be an interesting ride. However long it takes, I’ll be here to help him through it and we'll ride it together.

At least I have plenty of books to read – and mostly always something to write about.