Investing in the future

Investing....you've most likely heard of the term referring to the use of one's earnings to make even more financial gains by risking and playing Wall Street. Stocks, bonds, 401k's and IRA's, etc. This, however, is not what I will be talking about. These sessions will be letters to my son and anyone else that could use the experience, strength and hope within my stories.

Investing in the future; the Die-hards are the people of my generation and older that have yet to awaken to accountability and action. The far left and the far right lol. Whilst I am sitting here at work watching Netflix, I came across Ella Fitzgerald's documentary. It's wonderful. She was discussing the Civil Rights movement and what singers/bands/entertainers had to endure during those times was nothing short of deplorable.

She said "Don't worry about the die hards" and it struck me. How long have I tried to get people my own age to open their eyes to reality, let alone my parents and their generation?! Why bother?! At this point in the game those guys are on their own so I wanted to write down some things I've learned that may help the future generations...

Dear B:

Invest in yourself; how so do you mean? I mean that taking care of yourself must be a priority. This means balancing various aspects of being a human. Let start with things we all recognize:

1) Mentality: what kind of books are you reading, how is your self-talk when things don't go as planned? Do you accept life as it is? Do you speak kindly to yourself when you fail or make mistakes? Has anyone told you mistakes and failures are NEEDED in life?

2)E-motion: energy/feelings in motion=emotions. Do you get overwhelmed emotionally or feel detached from emotional responses? When major events happen, how do you process the emotional impact? Are there outlets such as writing, breath work, yoga that you utilize to center yourself when the outside world seems to be too much? My emotions are how I feel if my body is or isn't "ok" with what's going on. Which leads me to taking care of your physical self.

3)Physical health: what does this mean exactly? To me being physically healthy means that I am in touch with my body and listen when it gives me signals. Being tired, hungry, angry or lonely can add up to trouble quickly, so if I feel "off" I check if I feel any of those emotions and let my body answer. Drinking water, eating more fruits & veggies along with restful sleep can make a huge difference in your mood on a regular basis. Your cells are regenerating every 7 days so why not give your body the healthiest jump start? It also means movement, a healthy body is one that moves n grooves so don't forget to dance a little.

4)Spiritual fitness regiment: this is what I have come to realize is my belief structure. What do I believe and how do I practice those beliefs? First and foremost: I believe that I am capable of anything in this life because I am a divine manifestation of God in human form. I embrace my duality and use it my benefit and to help others. Without my dark past, I couldn't shine light on the future. We all have a dark side and are willing to do unspeakable things behind that mask so if you can overcome the dark and begin to operate from a space of love, acceptance and tolerance, then you are actually performing miracles and doing "God's work". My second belief: I am not here to judge, save or punish anyone, I do decide who gets my energy though. Sometimes you might have to sit out or alone, which is why loving yourself and your own company is paramount, not everybody does the right thing all the time, but that is the beauty of humanity. Our missteps provide opportunity to draw closer to divine guidance or intuition as I like to call it. Listen to your gut, it's telling you something for a reason.

In case no one has told you yet today: Your needs matter!!!! BUT only YOU can make sure they are met. Being assertive and asking for what you need is essential to your development as a healthy individual. Other people may try to entice feelings of guilt or shame in order to get you to change your mind or go along with what they are asking for remember; to thine own self be true. When you're true to yourself you are able to stand your ground without being abrasive toward anyone else. You can politely decline invitations where your energy isn't appreciated, walk into a party and happily observe the scene without needing to fill the air with gab and gossip. Learning to do these things requires investing in self, let me explain further what I mean by invest. What exactly are we investing and why?

Time and effort, that's what you're investing. You are going to be with yourself for your whole life, why not being loving toward yourself? Probably forgot how to, when we are born we are pure love because we know nothing else. Our parents, family and the effect of worldly influence eventually help shape our personalities and ideologies aka your EGO! Our inner thought process and "commentary" that our ego provides us by the time we hit puberty can be pretty harsh "and not an attractive neighborhood to be in alone" mentally speaking. Be easy with yourself in this regard, accepting that life will have ups, downs, sideways jumps, backwards dives and sometimes you'll be stuck in a rut for months, REMIND yourself it is ALL part of the ride. Consider life the longest roller coaster ever. It doesn't have to be an overwhelmingly emotional roller coaster ride day to day if you invest the time in self to center and realign when you feel or see a dip, tunnel or loop ahead in the ride.

How do you start to love yourself? It took me until 32 and getting sober to figure out my problem wasn't Jack Daniels, it was me. I didn't love myself, how I looked, behaved, treated friends and family, I couldn't stand the reflection in the mirror because I could see the ugliness that seemed to seep through my skin. Ugly thoughts, words, deeds and vibes. No wonder I ended up drinking mostly alone towards the end. It took a lot of work and uncomfortable shit to get to this day, you're almost 15 at this point and I am delighted to see the young man you are becoming despite my absence in your childhood. Which is also another motivation for these letters.

My actions in leaving you in your father's care was selfish, wrong, deplorable and when you are older I will ask your forgiveness. We have gotten to this point by me admitting/acknowledging my short comings, and doing my best to avoid making those mistakes again. My consciousness, my awareness has come at the cost of my "rose-colored" glasses or ignorance, if you will. Now in recovery I am cognizant of my impact on others so I choose to behave with integrity and from love. If you knew every ounce of energy you put out into the world was coming back to you over the span of your lifetime wouldn't you want to make sure what's coming back is positive?

Hence the golden rule: Treat others the way YOU would want to be treated; with love, acceptance and tolerance. If you're already used to loving and treating yourself with respect and impeccability then you will only engage with those people who "match" that energy. You will have much less stress in life, if you're able to understand that human beings are electro-magnetic, carbon based creatures; VIBES don't lie. "Being in tune" isn't just a thing for singers! People that vibe from self-love are the best energy to be around and once you've developed your own sense of self-love its' difficult to be around people that don't increase that vibration.

Don't worry not everyone will match your vibe that's ok, there is always something that can be learned, shared or taught before peacefully detaching from those who aren't aligned. I didn't understand that not every person I would meet in life would be a friend and not everyone would like me. If someone doesn't "like" me nowadays, I am not bothered like I used to be. I continue living my life because I love myself, my company, my jokes, my goofiness and most of all; I hope this helps you learn to love yourself.