Influencers sharing experiences vs. Sad Fishing

As I navigate my way through remembering, and sharing, the most vulnerable bits of my past, I oftentimes ask myself if I am sharing too much. When do I cross the line from sharing for the sake of experience and "Sad Fishing"? Then I remind myself that I am not seeking sympathy. My long-winded purpose is to tell you about all the stupid shit I've done. Then, tell you how not to do stupid shit. It's pretty simple.

If there were one thing I would tell the younger me, it would be that I am an idiot. There just is no romantic way to say it. In fact, the only upside is that digital captures of making an ass out of myself weren't yet a "thing". Thank the Universe for the small things. Embarrassment could be a descriptor for some of my skeletons. The shame of operating in an adult body, with a still teenage mind, likely will always haunt and taunt me. That's OK. I've had many people reach out and tell me that my shared experiences, here and other platforms, have truly helped them. That's amazing because sharing helps me too. My hope is that sharing many years of my experiences will help even one person. And, I truly and thoroughly enjoy hearing and supporting others.

There is a strange phenomenon on social media. Sad Fishing. Admittedly, my old ass only recently even knew it had a name. Nevertheless, the behavior is nothing new. What is it? In the simplest of explanation, it is using your misfortune to entice a reaction and attention from others. Usually for money. At the very least, to stroke the ego.

Dictionary.com says "Sadfishing is the act of posting about your emotional problems online for attention or personal gain."

So, what is the difference between experience sharing and Sad Fishing? I happen to think the line in the sand is pretty easy to see. When we are sharing experiences, especially on a public soapbox, there is a really good chance that our relatable experience will positively reach someone else. Experience sharing life lessons, milestones, and even trauma help us help other people who might be going through something similar. It also opens the door to constructive and healing conversations. In short, it's an amazing way for those on a public platform to reach, relate and experience their followers. Most of us are in the public eye because we want to be seen. So, we should assume that those who follow us expect a certain amount of relatable content. But, they also deserve a certain amount of compassion, interaction, and good faith. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with sharing a tragedy or other human experience. That is the entire precedence of wanting to be on a public platform. And likely your followers and friends will be there as a support system, community, and listening ear. The comradery is astounding on social media platforms.

The above is not the issue. Sad Fishing is the issue. Well, what's the difference? The very clear difference is that Sad Fishing seems to be a repeat offense for some "Influencers" or public figures. I am positive most of you have seen such a character. Often, it seems like there is some sort of epic misfortune that has stricken them almost weekly. And, for some, it seems to be closer to daily. It is always followed by a video or typed post explaining the horrors of the most recent event. And, the sympathy often brings support in the form of ego-stroking and monetary gain. I've seen some go as far as to blatantly ask for super chats or pay pals.

Hear me out. I am in no way saying it is wrong or irresponsible to receive money from followers as support for your work. Nor am I saying it is irresponsible to ask for help when you need help. Last year my cat needed help after an emergency, and I put forth a gofundme. We are a middle class, blue-collar family. I get it. Most of us also appreciate monetary support for our time, creativity, and work. That is the case for almost all of us who create, to any capacity, on any platform.

WHAT IS IRRESPONSIBLE is repeatedly, and without regard for the personal struggles of our own followers, fishing for their sympathy and financial support.

Perhaps I only recently noticed. Perhaps it has been going on for a long time. Regardless, I feel as though there is an influx of creators who seem to have daily outlandish situations that require some massive amount of money or emotional support. And an even larger influx of well-meaning, devoted supporters getting treated like mud. I have personally witnessed fans attempting to share their own struggles or their hard-earned money to help, only to be met with the receiving end of a lashing. Or worse yet, complete disregard for their efforts. This is simply not OK.

Those of us who even make a small, passive income via social media are fortunate. We are fortunate to live in an age where you don't have to pull up your bootstraps and go dig a ditch if you are creative enough. We are fortunate to live in an age where you can dance for 30 seconds and become a millionaire. Let's be grateful for that. The followers who take time out of their day to give a shit what you or I have to say are real people. And, they are real people whose time can be better spent doing a myriad of things besides listening to you or I drone on about our shitty day. If you are aspiring to be a Public Figure in any capacity, acknowledge that. Because the same human beings who embrace your struggles with you and are there for your growth can easily become the people who support your downfall.

Whether you have 10 followers on a platform, or 10 million, let's all humanize the people who support us. And let's not weaponize our tribulations against them.

Dena Danzig is a Yoga Teacher of almost 20 years as well as a small scale influencer across social media.

http://www.denadanzig.com