In a World Full of Noise, Are Millennials Forever Alone?

There is an awkward sense of tension that fills my life these days. This suffocating sense of contentment in my solitude, with a lingering need for something greater, something more meaningful, something of deeper connection. I have come to this realization as I reflect on my decade-long journey. Raised in Switzerland, born in Thailand with three different cultural origins, I have at times felt as a fictional character in my own life. But I am not. I am just a millennial, trying to navigate in a world that at times is too busy and too alone.

From 2015 to 2020, I voluntarily isolated myself. I wanted to find out what I was, unshaped by other people's opinion or by expectations that society tends to place on us. But this process was not without black days. In 2016, I went through a bad burnout – one that felt like everything I had constructed fell apart under the weight of personal and professional crises.

So, in response, I retreated. I had visited Toronto in 2017 for a few months to recharge and understand myself better in some other environment. In 2023, I return alone, yes, but satisfied with who I am. And yet something has shifted. Despite the clarity I have attained, now I do not miss self-improvement alone. I miss the shared moments, a life partner to face the world's issues together. Aren't those fundamental human needs? I am sure they are.

This desire for connection brings me to a bigger question that I find myself wondering about: Are millennials, my generation, destined to be lonely? Are we prone to the anxiety of a changing world – its constant crises and its constant digital realm? Have we been so affected by the turmoil of the world that we've lost our capacity for relating on a deeper level? Or worse, have we been taught to believe that real connection is fleeting – something less than authentic than we ever believed?

The illusion of connection
We have been the fortunate generation to experience the paradoxical privilege of being more "connected" than any previous generation in history. The advent of social media and the internet promised a world more connected. But the more interconnected we have become, the less connected we feel. I catch myself thinking while scrolling through Instagram (created my account in 2017) – swiping past immaculately filtered moments of other people's lives. Sure, we are all "connected" but are we actually connecting? Does a comment or a like ever actually substitute a real conversation?

Millennials, despite being the most digitally connected generation, are the most likely to say that they feel lonely, according to YouGov. Even 46% of millennials have also claimed loneliness on a routine basis, while just 29% of Gen X and 26% of baby boomers reported feeling lonely. The number is as frightening as it is revealing. We are constantly told to network, promote ourselves, be always available and yet there we are, alone.

Is it merely a byproduct of the digital era or is something else in play? The more immersed we become in the virtual universe, the more likely we are to become detached from the real, sometimes messy, human relationships forged with face-to-face engagement. Ironically, we have never been more enveloped by others yet never more struggled to be heard.

The weight of global crises
The world we grew up in has certainly had an impact on the way we think about relationships. Millennials came of age during some of the most pivotal times in recent history – the September 11th attacks, wars in the Middle East, and the 2008 financial meltdown. They do not only destroyed our feeling of security but the stability pillars that had long been the pillars of stability.

There is uncertainty today in the environment. Political and ecological instability, together with ongoing digital saturation, means we are frequently viewing crises in the making on our phones in real-time. We do not merely read about wars or global warming. We watch them in action before us. This pervasive awareness of global pain, paired with the pressure to succeed and "do more" regularly makes it difficult to carve out space for genuine connection. With a world that starts to feel tenuous, how do we become devoted to relationships that are also precarious?

This common sense of discomfort makes it hard to focus on our current existence. If all of it seems temporary, how can we build something permanent with another human being? Are we so scared of the future that we do not even try?

The speed of our lives
And one of the factors that contribute to this breakdown is the speed at which we live these days. Everything in our modern world occurs faster than ever before. We are expected to be continually available, constantly productive, always doing more. The age of instant gratification has arrived: answers are at our fingertips and so is entertainment. But this speed, as convenient, is at the expense of depth.

Consider relationships. With "swipe right" a shorthand for love potential, the act of actually knowing someone now feels like an unusual occurrence. I sometimes find myself considering how quickly life provided by technology has changed the way we experience everything from friendships to love. Are we sacrificing the ability to build something real because we are too caught up being distracted by the next notification, the next potential, the next new thing?

The longing for deep connection
All this aside, I refuse to believe that millennials are doomed to isolation. I do not think we are doomed to spend our lives alone – I think we are just getting by in a world shifting beneath our feet. Certainly, the impediments are there and of course it is harder than ever to know what matters. But I also believe that aching for real connection – aching to be heard, seen and loved is as timeless as it is universal. And if we can find the courage to stop, to have space in our lives for those who matter, we can rebuild the deep, true connections so many of us crave.

What I have learned about myself is that loneliness is not the opposite of connection. It is only by deeply understanding ourselves that we can connect with people in a genuine way. The solution is not about never being alone – it is about allowing ourselves to be alone long enough to find the type of relationships that will truly satisfy us.

Millennials are not fated to isolation. We just need to make our way through the noise. It is up to us to cut through distractions, tune out the constant stream of information and make the conscious choice to prioritize those people who actually do matter. The world may be racing at breakneck speeds but we do not have to be swept along.