If Chandler Bing Quitted His Job, So Can You

If you have started reading this article, chances are that you are a Friends fan like me. I lost count of how many times I watched this sitcom and sometimes I still do, choosing my favorite episodes across the ten seasons. If not, I would still assume that you have heard about this popular TV show and you are curious about what the heck Chandler Bing has to do with purpose.

Almost 20 years ago, on December 12th, 2002, the episode called “The One With Christmas In Tulsa” was aired. Chandler works as an IT procurement manager with the specialization “Statistical analysis and data reconfiguration”. In this episode, Chandler is in Tulsa. It is almost Christmas, and he cannot make it back home and spend it with the rest of the group as he has work to be finished before the holidays. I will not disclose other details of the episode, but eventually, Chandler arrives home to surprise Monica:

Monica: Oh, my god. Chandler. Why aren’t you in Tulsa? Won’t you get fired?

Chandler: They can’t fire me because I quit. I mean, why should everybody else do what they like, except for me.

Monica: Oh, I’m so happy.

Chandler was stuck in this corporate job for a while. He entered this profession — as Rachel called it, a “Transporster” — as he needed a job, thinking he would figure out what he wanted to do in the meanwhile. Years come by and Chandler is still in the same position, gets promoted every once in a while, but is so unsatisfied with this job that he even falls asleep during a meeting (this is actually how he gets relocated to Tulsa in an earlier episode).

His job soon became his career. However, this happened not because of an informed and intentional decision but rather as a result of circumstances and the “need to pay the bills”. How many of you can relate to that?

In this episode, Chandler still does not have an idea of what to do next. However, he eventually finds his calling and gets an internship to start building a new career ( I am not sharing more details here just in case someone wants to watch the show).

Since the pandemic began, many people started quitting their jobs in search of a more meaningful position or better conditions. The term “Great Resignation” should ring a bell here. It was created by Prof. Anthony Klotz, who is a psychologist and professor at A&M in Texas. The Great Resignation created momentum and gave people the courage to make a change and look for better opportunities and improve somehow the overall quality of their lives.

According to Klotz, human beings start reconsidering their status when facing situations of life and death. Certainly, the pandemic has pushed the entire world to stop and start asking some existential questions: am I happy with what I am doing right now? Is my job satisfying? Am I living a meaningful life? And so on. We can all relate and many of us have taken the step to change or at least have heard of someone who did. To summarize, the main reasons to reconsider our lifestyle range from burnout, stress, low salary and lack of benefits, and most importantly lack of purpose and motivation.

People leave companies because they do not feel connected. People would like to be connected to something they love, respect and believe in. Purpose is the connection people seek.

So, as Chandler Bing taught us almost two decades ago, it is possible to make a change and try to chase that dream and to find that purpose. It will not be easy, and it will not be immediate, but it can be very satisfying and meaningful when it happens. In other words, why shouldn’t we all try to do something we like for a living?

Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life

I have recently found myself in Chandler’s shoes. It is scary. It is uncertain. There is no guarantee that it will work out. You might not even know what to do next, which can make the situation even more uncomfortable. While there is no magic solution, there are some steps and habits that can in handy when dealing with such important decisions as switching careers, leaving a job, or changing direction in life. Here is some advice from my personal experience.

1. Do some research, read, and learn from others.

If you have no clue where to start or how to do it, my first advice for you is to read. There are plenty of resources online that can be interesting to check and can give first guidance on how to approach this situation. If you are tired of being online, check out for help in your town. Networking with someone who has been through this change can give you a refreshing and hopeful perspective on what is coming next. Whether online or in-person, there is always something to learn, and this type of activity will increase your self-awareness and confidence too.

2. Meditate, meditate, and be grateful.

Being self-aware does not come easy nor just by reading and checking resources. Meditation can help here. If you have never meditated by yourself, you are new to it and find it difficult, I would recommend trying out your local associations or different apps. Some of them make available through free accounts several well-done guided meditations. The more I meditated, the more I felt grounded. This is a practice I started years ago, even before questioning my direction in life and it has been super helpful in times of deep reflections and self-rediscovery. Most importantly, even if you are not planning a change in your life, start practicing daily gratitude. Apart from the fact that it has been scientifically proven that practicing gratitude can improve one’s life, it makes appreciate all you have in the present moment. So, start noticing good things, be thankful for them, and smile.

3. Learn something new every week.

What better way to put yourself out there and discover what you really like than learning something new or trying new things. I believe we should never stop learning. It doesn’t have to be something work-related all the time. Wherever you live, I am sure you can find plenty of opportunities to learn a new activity or join a new club. Let’s admit it: learning is a lot of fun and creates awareness. I found it a key component of my journey as I constantly put myself out of my comfort zone.

4. Get help from a professional coach.

Nobody said that you must do all of this on your own. You can ask for help. Find a professional coach, who has experience in your area. Usually, they offer a first introduction call, where you explain the kind of support you are looking for and they let you know if they can help you (it might be that they know another coach who fits your needs better) and how they are going to do if they can. Having a professional coach doesn’t make things easier or faster. However, it makes you accountable and committed. A coach will guide you and partner with you during your journey, giving you the support you need.

5. Dream big.

It might sound cheesy, but never stop dreaming. Write down (or draw it) anything that you would like to be doing. It can be anything. Where are you? Are you surrounded by people? Are you in an office or outside? Are you hearing a lot of noise or is it peaceful? What color do you see around? What does it smell like? (I know this sounds weird, but for me, it smells like roses). In doing so, do not mix your dream with what is available to you as an alternative right now. It can be just a big mistake. Try instead to create your path. Try to picture and vision what you would like to be doing that would make you feel fully accomplished, purposeful, and having a meaningful impact. Can you start seeing it? If you are “lucky” then this vision will coincide with opportunities around you. If not, it might be a bit more challenging for you to create your own, but it will be certainly meaningful and worth it.

These are just a few examples of what I started doing to reconnect with myself and find my purpose. These tips might work for you too or not at all. I warn you, it can take some time and a lot of courage, so it is important to be comfortable with not knowing and with not having a plan. And by saying this, I cannot avoid thinking of Phoebe: “I don’t even have a pla”.

So, what about? Can you relate to Chandler and me? Are you planning to take a similar step? Or have you taken it already? Comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences.

PS: there are other interesting career journeys in Friends TV show, that can trigger a reflection on your purpose or direction in life. For example, Joey, who is chasing his dream to become an actor, or Rachel, who starts as a waiter at Central Perk until she becomes a successful buyer at Bloomingdale’s and later an executive at Ralph Lauren. I chose Chandler, as he is my favorite character, awkward and sarcastic most of the time ;)