I resign from ableism

I am Josey and I resign from ableism. It seems like a strange statement, but it’s a statement indeed. I resign from allowing ableism to slide by me, no matter how casual. I resign from allowing ableist thoughts to simmer in my mind. I resign from allowing ableist words to linger in my vocabulary. I resign from letting ableism exist in my life at any capacity, it has no room here.

Anyone can become disabled, it is the one minority group that any one can join at any time in their life. Some people are born disabled or develop disabilities, some people become disabled through accidents or injuries. In any moment, you may need mobility aids or substantial support from others. We live in a society that praises productivity, if you aren’t able to contribute to society, you’re deemed many things. You’re lazy, you’re making excuses, you’re not trying hard enough. Disabled people are often overlooked unless they do something that able folks deem inspirational and they “defy the odds”. There are too many times in my own life where I have criticized myself or felt less than because I couldn’t do as much as everyone else. I would be upset with myself for resting and not getting more done in the day. I am allowed to take up space doing nothing. I am allowed to rest and save my energy. I remind myself daily that the idea that we have to be doing something in order to matter is rooted in ableism and I deserve better than that. Even from my own mind.

I resign from casual ableism in my language as well. There are ableist words and statements sprinkled throughout the English language. Lame, spazz, psycho, crippled… even asking someone who can’t find something “are you blind?” is casual ableism at its finest. Statements we make with no thought and ease that actually can be incredible hurtful to someone experiencing. As an autistic person, I cringe at how freely people use the word retard or retraced on a regular basis. I’ve been called it one too many times, and see it thrown around with no disregard all over social media. As this word bothers me, I’m trying to remove other ableist language from my own vocabulary.

Our entire world is built around people with bodies that function “properly” or are of “normal” stature and it’s always at a premium for businesses and even homes to be built to accommodate disabled or differently proportioned bodies, or modified to be accessible later. Even clothing sizes make difference in stature or size a premium, with little people and extremely tall people with hypermobility or disorders like Marfan’s Syndrome often left with only custom or boutique options, and larger sizes in general often costing more. We live in a world that glorifies the “normal” and stands in the way of people who need accommodation.

Sometimes the most casual ableism comes from the people we’d hope would know better. The “well intentioned” friend who suggests a workout to a friend that’s outside of their ability is a common occurrence. And then there’s the friend who invites you to her wedding but didn’t check to see if your wheelchair would fit through the doors—if they have a ramp or elevator at all. It’s when people book the handicapped seats at a movie theatre because they don’t want to sit too close, but force someone with mobility aides to miss out or struggle to get to a seat their aides can’t reach. Don’t forget the limited handicapped seating at concerts that’s often filled with people who just bought them to have a seat because, “well, they’ve never seen disabled people at a concert before so it’s not like it’s hurting anyone…” The most vile form of ableism is the casual ableism of people who fake a disability to access what they see as “perks” that are simply accommodations to help everyone experience something. I’ve actually seen people leave the line at an amusement park’s guest services and peel off their knee brace and tuck it away while joking about how easy it is to skip the line for free—something that became so common it has had dire repercussions for disabled guests at theme parks. I have witnessed people will borrow canes and other mobility aids in order to get better seating at events and openly brag about it with no shame whatsoever.

My resignation is one thing, but I definitely need others to join with me. I am just one of the voices amongst millions, screaming for accesibility. As I stated before, you can become disabled at any time in your life, no matter how perfectly healthy you may be. One diagnosis, one accident, one untreated injury…. Many things can change your life drastically. That is why accessibility is so important, it includes EVERYONE. You may think you don’t know someone disabled, but chances are you do, and if not, you will in your lifetime. Inclusion matters, and everyone should have a place at the table regardless of their abilities. Too many people just keep scrolling, turn the page or change the channel instead of listening to disabled folks. If you are able to look away, it means you have the privilege to do so and exist in all spaces freely. None of us know how long we have left on this planet, so why waste a minute of it not accommodating others and making spaces accessible? Why not help everyone enjoy the same world instead of leaving some of us at home, in the dark, or just unable to join in? It doesn’t hurt anyone to lift everyone up.