I lost my job, and it was the best thing that could have happened

Let's start with the obvious: 2020 has been insane. Everyone is ready for this year to be over. From the first call for lock-downs to the current day, we don't know what to expect next. , losing your job in this uncertainty is nothing new. o people this year took a financial hit and lost a lot. I was part of the lucky population that was working in a "critical" job, and I was thankful I got to wake up and go to work every day. Even better, I loved my job. I perceived I was part of something bigger, something great, with a company that was trying to make a difference in the world. I had climbed up the corporate ladder pretty and thought I had my career on track and on lock until retirement. Then, it all fell apart....

I have no hard feelings against my former employer. I still support the company and believe they are not another 'evil corporation'. That being , I was go by the leadership in my region. sudden, unexpected and basically felt like I had been punched in the throat. I am 32 and this is the first time the job left me. I moved to a new city for my job, bought a house, and am in the middle of remodeling it. My father taught me well, so I have some savings, but it's still not an ideal situation. When my friends found out, their reactions were predictable. I got a lot of "What are you going to do?", "What about your house", and my favorite, "Are you okay?". The reaction when my response was, ", I'm great." was priceless.

Now, am I stressed about the financial uncertainty I find myself in? Yeah, of course. That day I applied to any job I could find, then drove 12 hours to see my significant other to get away and clear my head. I didn't sleep after I got there, continuing to apply for jobs and answer texts from my former team and friends, trying to explain what happened and plan what was next. That night I succumbed to the physical and mental exhaustion and slept. True to my form, I woke up after 6 hours. But here's the thing; I woke up refreshed and happy. I woke up and didn't have to check my phone and answer 30 messages. I didn't have to jump on a computer right away or put out fires or rush off somewhere. was able to enjoy my coffee and fully wake up. was able to do on my time, and make plans without guilt. was truly me, not my job.

had been frustrated. am opinionated and vocal, so of my cohorts knew I was frustrated. This year was hard on everyone and there were in my organization that were getting under my skin. My frustrations were visibly peaking around August, but I convinced myself I was overreacting. I'm a workaholic, and as I loved my job, I lived my job. I dedicated everything I did to my job, from working with the non-profits here in Phoenix, to networking and assisting others in the organization, I lived and breathed the job. Due to this, I kept making excuses for my job, to myself, to keep my inner voice from telling me what I didn't want to hear; I was , but I didn't want to admit it.

I take pride in my work ethic, and this experience has done nothing to change my to be constantly busy. The difference now is, I realize I want to be busy doing what makes me happy, not killing for someone else. I want to have time to write and make a out of my goofy stories. I want to have guilt-free time to volunteer with non-profits in my area and help my community. want to work on my home improvement projects and not feel like I am taking time away from my team. 'm still not sold on vacations, but if forced to go on one, at least I can write about it, .

'll never stop working, and I'll never be okay with excess downtime. But it's time I overwork myself for my passions, my decisions and my .