I Don’t Need To Wear Cropped Tops, Short Skirts And Heavy Makeup To Attract More People

Before I share a few of my beliefs on the principles of being a “real lady”, I have a poem to share with you. It’s called Beauty which is about the idea of how one can be attractive on the inside as opposed to the outside.

Beauty doesn’t have to be shown

from the external part of you.

It can also be displayed

from the internal part of you.

People don’t just observe

the extrinsic being.

They also notice

the intrinsic being.

Makeup, high heels, voluminous hair and trendy clothes

don’t define your glamour.

Your beliefs and conduct

define your attractiveness.

As we all know, looks are quite deceiving. It’s easy to judge someone based on how they dress, style their hair or based on what colour their skin is. The truth is, we don’t judge someone based on their physical appearance. We judge someone based on how they behave and how they think.

The same philosophy applies to myself.

Some days, I may look less feminine, but that doesn’t define the type of person I truly am. Externally, I may look like a woman who is melancholy and withdrawn. Internally, I’m an intelligent, hardworking, bubbly, caring, affectionate and outgoing individual. I don’t need people to determine my personality based on how I dress or do my hair. The clothes I also wear don’t make me less or more of a woman. Here are five of the reasons why I believe I don’t have to and want to wear skimpy clothes and have long, voluminous hair to look more attractive and glamorous.

1. Personality means way more than someone’s physical appearance

Personality means a lot more than people think! That's one of the most important morals I learned growing up. I know it's hard not to define someone based on how they physically reveal themselves, but it's not the correct way to define someone.

Someone can wear the most expensive garment, style their hair like celebrities, have fantastic personal hygiene and be at an appropriate body weight and still be the meanest person on the planet. On the other hand, someone can look like a frumpy, less-trendy and simple individual and be the kindest person in the world. I have many friends who don't dress in the most fashionable ways and they are the most beautiful and caring people I've ever encountered. I've encountered many people who are very privileged and dress like princesses and princes and they are the most disgusting, inconsiderate, obnoxious and impudent human beings I've seen on the planet.

That same principle applies to me.

People who don't know me well enough or don't take the time to get to know me may think I'm an impudent, sloppy, childish and moody person based on some of the outfits I wear and how I physically present myself, but the truth is, I'm the complete opposite of what people may think. People who know me well enough or take enough time to have a meaningful interaction with me strongly believe that I'm a gracious, intelligent, hardworking, inspirational, goal-oriented, youthful, lively, fun-loving and giddy individual. My character traits are enough for my friends, family members, colleagues and strangers to understand how amazing of a person I am! I don't need to change my fashion statement or look more grown-up for people to think I'm a person with positive qualities.

I hope you believe this to be true as well, ladies! When you treat people with dignity and kindness, that's enough for others to determine how beautiful you are. You don't need to dress like a model for others to think if you're a good person or not!

2. I don't need to conform to the beliefs of other people my age

Youth tend to feel the need to conform to the strong beliefs of other youth, especially when it comes to fashion and leisure. I don't think this is the healthiest way to live, because people are entitled to live their lives how they want, regardless of age and gender.

I notice many women my age wearing skimpy clothing and heavy makeup, and I don't want to follow the path their on. This is because I'm my own person and I choose how I want to live my life. I don't need to dress perfectly or change my lifestyle just to conform to the beliefs of most people my age. I don't believe wearing cropped tops, mini skirts and heavy makeup will make me look more youthful or age-appropriate. I'm a young woman in my 20's and that won't change for quite some time. I'm a woman with a sense of purpose and that will never change. What's the point in me wearing skimpy clothes and heavy makeup just to make myself feel less like myself? In fact, I'd be feeling and living in someone elses body instead of my own. That's not a smart way to live my life! The more I embrace who I truly am, the happier I'd be in life.

Young ladies, feel free to follow your own path. Feel free to display yourselves in the way you feel is appropriate. Don't let the media and other young people's beliefs dictate how you should live your lives!

3. I don’t believe girls and women need to physically and sexually sell themselves in order for them to feel more loved

When we don't love ourselves or feel satisfied with ourselves, we have an impulse to seek attention in inappropriate ways. One of the most common ways that people, especially females, seek for love is by portraying themselves in a provocative manner and go "cute guy hunting". Some even resort to prostitution as a means to feel more loved by others and to make a reasonable income.

It's actually one of the worst ways to feel loved by others. You're only putting yourselves in harms way, ladies!

From my perspective, I don't need to feel loved based on what I wear or how I do my hair. My charismatic and affable nature is more than enough to attract the attention of other people. I have a handful of male friends who respect me for my personality. I don't need to look like one of America's Next Top Models for a bunch of my male peers to give me the attention I'm looking for. It's preposterous! No matter how I dress or do my hair, my group of male friends will respect me and treat me like a real person who has morals and values. I want it to stay that way for the better!

Bottom line is, people honour me the way I am and that makes me feel so proud and confident about myself! I wow them with my personality, my abilities and stories to share. I believe that's a better way to attract the attention of others than by my physical appearance.

I hope you feel the same way I do, ladies! You'll feel much better about yourselves if you expect others to judge you based on your morals and values, not by your fashion statement!

4. I was a victim of sexual harassment and assault, so I want to protect myself sexually and physically

Unfortunately, I was a victim of both sexual assault and harassment during my teenage and young adult years. Most of the sexual harassment that occurred was online, so I’m lucky that I didn’t have to deal with much physical touching. That being said, it was still an experience I didn’t want to have in the first place.

I’ve dealt with enough sexual garbage in my life, so I don’t want to fall down that rabbit hole again! I’m reluctant to wear skimpy clothes and heavy makeup, because I want to protect myself sexually, physically and spiritually. I believe that if I wear skimpy clothes and heavy makeup, I’d be more susceptible to unwanted sexual contact, because men crave women who show their bodies and who are the most fashionable, compared to women who are preppy and geeky.

Of course, I don’t have to completely cover myself from head-to-toe to reduce the risk of being sexually harassed or assault. I just want to wear clothing that’s less tight and not see-through, so men don’t have to notice the most vulnerable parts of a woman’s body. Wearing jeans, sneakers, leggings, sweats, t-shirts with a high collar, sweatshirts, skirts that touch my knees and button down shirts with a white t-shirt underneath is more than enough for me to conceal the most vulnerable part of my body.

You want to protect yourself but you also don’t want to suffocate yourself.

5. I’m my own person and so is every other girl and woman out there!

Nobody is the same, regardless of what gender you are. Females face many stereotypes and are often forced to believe that certain things are for females, and certain things are for males. For example, some ladies and men from older generations assume that girls shouldn’t have short hair and boys shouldn’t have long hair. That’s definitely not the case in our generation. Many people nowadays take a “gender doesn’t matter approach” to fashion, leisure, education, etc.

I believe this is true and I practice what I preach.

Although I’m a woman, I take pride in wearing preppy clothes, sneakers, aviator-style glasses and putting my wavy, thick, caramel-brown hair up in a simple half-ponytail or half-bun. In lieu of a “designer purse”, I always wear a frumpy-looking backpack and carry a book in my arms. I also keep my phone glued to my hand and I have headphones on every time I’m strolling around. I don’t care if people think it’s less feminine. People can think I’m less beautiful than someone who wears trendy outfits and makeup. But the truth is, I’m not less feminine. I’m just a young lady who decides to portray herself as a nerdy, intellectual, nature-loving, youthful and playful person as opposed to a young lady who chooses to portray herself as an extravagant, nubile and in-vogue diva! I’m satisfied with who I truly am and I refuse to change that about myself.

For all the girls and ladies out there, don’t worry about being more or less feminine. Be who you want to be, and don’t pay attention to the ludicrous stereotypes that boys and men started picking up! Dress how you want and love what you wear! Do your hair however you desire and love it!

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