How to survive a toxic college

I sat in the back of the lecture hall, gripping my pen a little too tightly. The professor had just dismissed my question with a smirk—again. Around me, some students chuckled, others exchanged knowing glances, and I felt the familiar wave of frustration rise in my chest. I wasn’t even surprised anymore.

College was supposed to be a place of growth, a place where I could explore my passions and build my future. Instead, it felt suffocating. Between toxic classmates, biased faculty, and an administration that seemed to care about everything except its students, I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells.

I knew I wasn’t the only one. I saw the same exhaustion in the eyes of others, the same silent struggles. But I refused to let this place break me. If I had to survive here, I was going to do it on my own terms.

Step 1: Recognizing the Toxicity

At first, I tried to convince myself I was overreacting. Maybe it was just bad luck, or maybe I was imagining the favoritism, the unnecessary competition, the pressure that never seemed to ease up. But deep down, I knew the truth—this environment was toxic, and pretending otherwise wouldn’t change that.

I started paying attention. The whispers in the hallways, the way some students were always chosen while others were ignored, the stress that hung over everyone like a storm cloud. It wasn’t just me. And once I accepted that, I knew where to begin defending myself.

Step 2: Creating My Own Safe Space

In a place where negativity lurked around every corner, I needed a space where I could just breathe.

For me, it was the quiet corner of the library, a spot no one else seemed to care about. Sometimes, it was my dorm room, with my headphones on, drowning out the world with my favorite playlist. Other times, it was the company of the few people who made me feel safe.

Having that refuge made all the difference.

Step 3: Building Emotional Resilience

I realized that in a toxic environment, the worst thing I could do was let people see they were getting to me. Some people thrived on drama, on bringing others down. I refused to give them that satisfaction.

Instead of reacting to every insult, every unfair comment, I reminded myself: This is not a reflection of me. This is a reflection of them. I learned to walk away from gossip, to keep my head high even when I felt small, and to repeat to myself, This too shall pass.

And slowly, it got easier.

Step 4: Choosing My Circle Wisely

I used to think I had to be friends with everyone, that I had to force my way into groups that didn’t truly want me there. But the more time I spent around toxic people, the more I realized—I’d rather be alone than surrounded by negativity.

So, I started being more selective. I found people who shared my values, who uplifted me instead of draining me. And when I couldn’t find the right people, I reminded myself that solitude wasn’t a curse.

I was my own company, and that was enough.

Step 5: Managing Academic Pressure

The weight of academic expectations felt unbearable at times, especially in a place where grades seemed to be influenced by factors beyond hard work. Some professors had favorites, some assignments felt deliberately impossible, and no matter how much effort I put in, it never felt like enough.

So, I stopped chasing perfection.

Instead of obsessing over grades, I focused on learning. I found online resources—YouTube lectures, free courses, study forums—that taught me more than my professors ever did. I worked smarter, prioritized tasks, and reminded myself that one bad grade wasn’t the end of the world.

Step 6: Dealing with Unfair Faculty

Arguing with certain professors was a losing game, so I learned how to play smart.

I stayed polite, even when they weren’t.

I documented everything—emails, graded assignments, unfair remarks—so I had proof if I ever needed it.

I found others who were dealing with the same issues, because there was strength in numbers.

And when things got really bad, I looked for alternatives—different courses, different professors, different ways to succeed despite the system.

Sometimes, survival meant being strategic.

Step 7: Protecting My Mental Health

No class, no professor, no assignment was worth my mental breakdown.

I started taking breaks when I needed them. I stepped away from social media when it only added to my stress. I journaled my thoughts, letting out the words I couldn’t say out loud.

And on the hardest days, I reminded myself: My well-being comes first. Always.

Step 8: Learning to Say No

Toxic people have a way of draining you—demanding your time, pulling you into their drama, making you feel guilty for setting boundaries. But I learned that I didn’t owe anyone my energy.

I had every right to say no.

No to unnecessary stress.

No to fake friendships.

No to people who made me feel small.

And once I started saying no, I realized how much lighter I felt.

Step 9: Finding Opportunities Beyond College

If my college environment was limiting me, I was going to outgrow it.

I looked for internships, freelance work, and projects that let me explore my passions. I connected with students from other universities, built my skills online, and reminded myself that my future wasn’t limited to the walls of this place.

The more I expanded my world, the less power my college had over me.

Step 10: Knowing When to Walk Away

Some battles are worth fighting. Others just aren’t.

If my mental health was ever on the line, I knew I had options. Transferring, taking a gap year, even just emotionally detaching from the toxicity—I wasn’t trapped.

Because at the end of the day, my education mattered, but I mattered more.

The Final Lesson: I Am Not Alone

For the longest time, I thought I had to handle everything by myself. But I wasn’t alone. There were people who understood, who had been through the same things, who had found ways to survive and even thrive.

If you’re in a toxic college, I want you to know—you’re not alone either. There are always ways to protect yourself, to push through, to build something better for yourself beyond this place.

I didn’t just survive. I learned, I grew, and I became stronger than I ever thought I could be.

And so can you.