How to Persuade

Lance had the big white teeth smile and the blue eyes, the full head of hair and the square jawline, so he had a good start. People liked the look of him.

But Lance also had powers of persuasion. Now I am not sure if he learned them or if he was a born persuader. He must have had some kind of genetic ability because his dad was a business executive who would ‘close big deals.’

Lance had no college education. Lance barely made it through high school, but Lance could persuade and sell. He had success within the micro-lending department of a bank and then started his own micro lending service.

Many of his bank customers followed him because of the outstanding service he used to give them while at the bank.

He sold his micro-lending business and went into real estate and became one of the top sellers there too. With his commissions he bought an antique furniture store? Perhaps he wanted a more sedate selling atmosphere and perhaps he had an interest in antique furniture, I am not sure.

But he made a success of that too, and last I heard, he had bought a franchise in a food delivery service and had expanded into several franchise licences. Whatever he tried, he made a success of. Because he was so persuasive.

The good news for us mere mortals is that we can all learn to be more persuasive. Persuasion is an art and a science, so we can learn techniques, but our expression of those techniques is where the art lies.

We each have our unique personalities which filter the techniques into our own communication style. There is no ‘cookie cutter’ approach that works because of the unique personalities we all have. We each need to find that which we are most comfortable with and hone those skills.

The Encyclopedia Britannica has a rather negative take on persuasion, liking it to manipulation. See the definition below:

‘Persuasion, the process by which a person’s attitudes or behaviour are, without duress, influenced by communications from other people.

One’s attitudes and behaviour are also affected by other factors (for example, verbal threats, physical coercion, one’s physiological states). Not all communication is intended to be persuasive; other purposes include informing or entertaining.

Persuasion often involves manipulating people, and for this reason many find the exercise distasteful. Others might argue that, without some degree of social control and mutual accommodation such as that obtained through persuasion, the human community becomes disordered.

In this way, persuasion gains moral acceptability when the alternatives are considered. To paraphrase Winston Churchill’s evaluation of democracy as a form of government, persuasion is the worst method of social control — except for all the others.’

source: https://www.britannica.com/science/persuasion-psychology

The persuasion I want to focus on is not the physical threats or manipulation type.

I think that an honourable type of persuasion exists, and does not leave one party worse off than the other. I like the part about influencing people, without duress through communication.

Here are some tips on how we can all become more persuasive.

Getting People onside, through a common enemy

‘What do you think about the cost of living?’

‘Don’t you wish that you could read faster and learn quicker?’

Depending on what you are trying to persuade people about, like a passive income, or a study course, etc. We should frame the question to elicit a response that can then get us into amplifying their problem and we should include ourselves in the amplification.

‘We all agree, the cost of living is way too high….’

The first step is to get people to see things from your perspective. When communicating an idea or proposal, use of the word ‘we’ rather than ‘you’ can instantly make the other people or person feel like ‘we are all in this together.’

An example. ‘Imagine what we could do if we invested in this property…’ Rather than saying, ‘ Imagine what you could do if you invested in this property.’ Which already creates a barrier, namely ‘me and you.’

Lance used to use the phrases ‘Let's see how we go… Should we look at this together?…’ He made you feel like you and he were in it together. This reduces apprehension. Using a question like should we? Also gives the other person a feeling of control. Rather than something like ‘we must.’

Giving someone that feeling that they are deciding is powerful.

Body language, while persuading, is important. Keep an open body posture, arms apart and palms facing forward, head up and neck visible, keep eye contact at all times. This shows honesty and openness. All the best communicators do this. Smile naturally, they can spot fake smiles a mile off.

Clarity in Communication

Specific and confident, this is about knowing exactly what you want to communicate. Don’t use ‘um’ and ‘er’ and ‘mm’. make sure you know what you are talking about. Being well prepared by anticipating questions and knowing how you will answer them makes you a lot more persuasive.

Lance would use phrases like ‘I am glad you asked that, because it is something we contemplated a lot, and this is what we did. I am sure we will all agree….’ He would lead people into agreement before even answering the question.

By using the right language and describing the positive potential outcomes or scenarios shows that you have thought through what you are speaking about. Lance would always highlight the benefits of what he was proposing.

When answering anyone’s question use their name, the best sound to anyone is the sound of their own name. It gives them a feeling of importance and relevance. ‘Thank you John, that’s a brilliant question. John, the way we should look at this is …’

Lance would make you feel you were the only person in the universe. This single factor drove his success.

What do they have to gain?

By highlighting to people what they have to gain, makes you a lot more persuasive, we are all ‘I-specialists, Iphone, Ipad, etc.’ We care about ‘I’. You can then contrast their current scenario, and what the potential upside is of your proposal and how it affects them.

Lance used to use phrases like this. ‘We could continue to do what we are doing, which got us into the situation we are in. Or we could do something different, you know what they say, the same level of thinking that created the problem will not solve the problem, so that is why we should consider…’

Freedom to choose

‘Hard sells’ don’t work with most people, it may work with some, but once people feel cornered or threatened, like they are being forced into something, they will resist anything more you have to say, from that point.

Use freedom of choice and limits to the offer, and give them freedom to make their decision.

“I know they won’t keep these opportunities open indefinitely, so we need to decide whether we are interested, we agree that if we continue as we are we will end up where we don’t want to be, but I also want us all to be free to make our own decisions. We just need to realise that the door is closing.”

This highlights that they will need to decide, because the offer closes, but also they have the power over their decision.

Others like you have benefitted

This is to give them more confidence while they are deciding. You can tell them about other people who are like them that have already taken up the offer.

‘These are some people like us that are already using .. or who have invested already…’ By showing them evidence of others, may make them more inclined to receive your message positively.

Evidence is king

If you have data or evidence or expert analysis, then use that while they are thinking whether to accept your proposal. Your message will be more convincing, the more positive data and endorsement you have.

If experts have shown what you are saying to be true, or studies show the benefits of what you are stating. Testimonials are also good, from people that have used the product or service. These are powerful, particularly if they can contact those giving feedback.

In Summary, Lance had three personal assets in abundance.

Likeability. If you were dealing with him, he made you feel you were the most important person in the world. A sense of service.

Confidence. He knew his product or service and everything about them, down to the tiniest detail.

Clarity of his message using the ‘we’ tactic.