How Seeking Male Validation Can Destroy You

The need for approval from others has a significant impact on our lives in a society where societal standards and cultural expectations govern everything. I became caught up in the intricate web of needing approval, especially from males, as a woman.

The Allure of Male Validation

I was gently educated from a young age that my value was dependent on the approval of men. The journey of a woman for love and approval from a masculine character is frequently the subject of fictional stories and television narratives. While romanticised, this story frequently downplayed the value of individuality and self-worth.

My self-esteem became closely connected to masculine approval as I got older. The ultimate affirmation of my appearance and desirability came in the form of compliments, attention, and acceptance from males. I felt momentarily elated after receiving this external affirmation, which only served to strengthen my conviction that the opinions of men determined how valuable I was.

The need for Approval

My behaviours, choices, and even how I looked were all greatly impacted by my desire for male acknowledgment, which put me in a complicated state. I saw that I was changing my behaviour to reflect what I believed attracted men. I kept my ideas to myself, downplayed my accomplishments, and refrained from making myself known in an effort to project a picture that I believed would be more desirable to them.

Social media has turned into a battlefield for men looking for approval. My perceived beauty was closely connected with the quantity of comments, likes, and messages I received on my postings. Every online encounter gave or took away from my sense of self-worth, keeping me constantly aware of my online persona.

The harsh reality

As the desire of male affirmation continued, its unpleasant reality became more apparent. I came to the realisation that by trying to appease men, I was sacrificing my authenticity and putting my own needs and wants on the back burner. My self-worth and confidence were being undermined by my incessant need for outside approval. Unconsciously, I was letting the views of others control the way I felt about myself.

In addition, constantly comparing myself with other women increased emotions of insecurity. I started to feel inadequate and unworthy when I observed other ladies receiving more attention or praise. My self-esteem was further affected by this destructive comparison cycle, which also encouraged female rivalry rather than female unity.

Breaking Free and Finding Empowerment

The struggle to liberate myself from the shackles of needing approval from men was a difficult but important trip. It necessitated defying social norms, revising my ideals, and reassessing my own worth. Here are some ways that have helped me deal with this:

- Self-Discovery: I started a path of self-discovery, concentrating on my abilities, interests, and hobbies that were unaffected by what other people thought. This assisted me in developing a feeling of value that was based on my inherent talents.

- Authentic Expression: Without worrying about how men would respond, I discovered how to truly share my views and beliefs. I was able to attract individuals that respected me for who I really was by embracing my authenticity.

- Healthy Boundaries: Setting up sound limits was essential. I started being picky about the individuals I hung out with and the viewpoints I appreciated. I was open to constructive criticism, but I stopped letting negative input determine how I felt about myself.

- Sisterhood: Making connections with other women was a significant source of empowerment. A helpful and loving atmosphere replaced the competitive approach with sharing experiences and encouraging one another.

The transition from seeking male approval to recognising self-empowerment was fraught with difficulties and breakthroughs. Our authenticity, sense of value, and personal development are all heavily sacrificed in the chase of external affirmation, particularly from males.

The turning point in my life came when I realised that genuine empowerment comes from inside, regardless of anyone’s affirmation. In order to pursue self-love, honesty, and unity as women, we must liberate ourselves from the confines of needing male acceptance.

Our value goes beyond what society expects of us, and that the source of our own validation lies inside.