How I Got Better At Taking Writing Feedback

For a long time, I was the only cowboy on my horizon. I freelanced, I wrote on my blog and on Medium, and I sent out my emails with nary a manager to be seen. My freelance clients, for the most part, were happy to let me do my thing with minimal oversight.

Then in 2023, I joined a PR agency ghostwriting in my free time. Suddenly my writing was subject to scrutiny — and, yes, even feedback — from a pro editor who was unafraid to correct me.

“Clarify.”

“This doesn’t fit the client’s brand tone, adjust.”

“Take this out.”

My editor was great, but he wasn’t gentle. It was a steep learning curve to get to a point where I could gracefully accept feedback without taking it to heart. However, a year later when I rejoined the full-time employment world, it was all worth it. At my very first performance review, my manager told me that I was “great at taking feedback.”

That feedback felt amazing.

If you want that personal growth journey for yourself, here’s what worked for me.

I changed my mindset

The real, underlying issue was that I tied my writing very closely to my identity. So when someone criticized my words, it felt like they were criticizing me.

Here’s the thing I had to internalize: editors don’t really care about you. They care about your work. Most of them are not trying to hurt your feelings when they make suggestions or changes. They are just trying to help you get your writing into better shape, for whatever the purpose is.

So I tried to flip from fearful mindset to a learning and grateful mindset.

I verbally reminded myself of this every time I sat down to review the suggested edits. “Zulie, Chris doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate your writing. The byline/article/blog post needs changes. Look at what he’s changing and see if you can remember that feedback for next time.”

It wasn’t perfect, but it helped.

I absorbed, then revisited

The next issue I had to overcome was my instinctive hurt reaction to seeing a ton of Google doc suggestions. So, after I took my initial pass at looking at all the edits, I didn’t try to make the changes right away. Despite my best mindset shifting, I found I was still getting frustrated and angry at many of the changes, or I’d just try to spit them all out so I could be done with the painful exercise.

Instead, I read them all at once, and then shut the doc for a bit. Maybe I’d have a cup of tea, brush my cat, work on a different project, or have my lunch break. Then, once I’d had a beat to digest, I’d come back a little calmer and more ready to put on my learning and grateful mindset. It was always easier to tackle the changes when I wasn’t looking at them fresh for the first time.

I was more careful

The fact was (as uncomfortable as this was for me to admit) that I had gotten the tiniest bit lazy. I was sloppy on my own editing process. I half-assed stuff on occasion. I committed typo crimes.

This meant that on many edits, my editor was obviously right with their corrections. And the really infuriating thing was that if I had taken just a few more minutes fact-checking, proofreading, or self-editing, I would have caught it myself.

To fix this, I applied the same strategy as above: After a first pass, I stepped away for a bit, and then I returned. I didn’t just assume my first draft would be ready for edits; I tried to draft something and then give myself a day or two until I came back to self-edit it.

I am a good writer, but I make mistakes. Sometimes I write things in a tone-deaf way. Sometimes my sentences don’t follow logically. Sometimes I miss out including really glaring argument. I’m bad at catching those on the first draft, but I’m much better if I give myself time to come back — and if I acknowledge that I need to come back to edit my piece in the first place.

I pushed back (sometimes)

When I started getting better at taking feedback, I accidentally went too far in the opposite direction: I assumed that every correction was for the best. I accepted any and all recommended changes without a second thought. However, there are some times that my original version is better. Just like no writer is perfect, no editor is perfect, either.

It took a while to find the balance between when my instinct to push back was just because my feelings were hurt, versus when my way of writing something was the better option. This is where the absorb-then-revisit strategy helps, too — I’m better at making that judgement call when I’ve had a beat to digest.

Getting better at writing is an active process

I know that 10,000 hours theory is mostly debunked, but one element stuck with me that I still agree with. To get better at something, it’s not enough to just passively do it for a long period of time. You have to be intentional about your practice. That goes for violin playing and it goes for writing, too.

I got much better at writing when I worked closely with an editor because it forced me to be more thoughtful about my craft. Is it easier to just plunk down a thousand words and call my article done? Of course it is. Is it much more ultimately satisfying to draft, iterate, edit, polish, and finally publish something I know is much better for that extra work? Of course it is.

If you, like me, are a bit precious about your written words and want to get better at taking feedback, I highly encourage you to give it a real try. Not only will it make you easier to work with and more employable, but it’ll also give you an opportunity to get better at writing you won’t get often.

Bon voyage!