Hiding My Ashley Madison Past: The Steps I Took to Protect My Family

Today, I’ll share the story of Ethan Carter, a man who thought his past mistake would never catch up to him—until it almost did. In 2018, during a difficult time in his marriage, Ethan created an Ashley Madison account. Years later, when a Netflix series about the infamous data breach aired, he panicked. Vowing to safeguard his family, Ethan set out on a quest to eliminate all record of his account from the web. From deleting his profile to taking advantage of Spokeo's opt-out feature and privacy software, he did it all. This is the tale of how one individual kept his secret—and what we can all learn about online privacy.

The Secret He Buried

Ethan Carter was a meticulous man. A Sacramento, California-born software engineer, he had always been the type who booked every aspect of his life in advance. But in 2018, when there was a lot of stress in his marriage, Ethan did something wrong—something that would trouble him for years to come.

Claire, his wife, was carrying their first child, Lily. The pregnancy was challenging, and Claire was constantly tired, making Ethan feel isolated and unattached. In a weak moment, he set up an account on Ashley Madison, a site notorious for arranging extramarital affairs. He assured himself it was merely a means of letting off steam, that he would never really go through with anything. But over the passage of time, he forgot about the account, hiding it in the recesses of his mind.

Years later, in 2023, Netflix launched a new show titled *Ashley Madiosn*, a sensationalized reenactment of the notorious 2015 data hack that revealed millions of users' adulteries. When Claire brought up the show one night, Ethan's heart skipped a beat. What if she saw it? What if she chose to search for him? The possibility of losing Claire and Lily was unthinkable.

Ethan knew he had to move quickly. He was going to delete every record of his Ashley Madison account from the internet. Here's how he went about it:

Step 1: Deleting the Ashley Madison Account Permanently

Ethan began by going into his dormant Ashley Madison account. He hadn't logged into it in years, but he recalled the email address he used to sign up for it. After changing his password, he went to the account settings and chose to permanently delete the account. Ashley Madison's deletion process made him confirm multiple times that he wanted to delete the account, but Ethan was determined. When the account was deleted, he got a confirmation email. He ensured he deleted this email too, with no digital evidence left behind.

Step 2: Deleting Data from Spokeo

Ethan realized that simply deleting his Ashley Madison account wasn't sufficient. His data might still be out there on people-search sites like Spokeo, where they collect information from public records, social media, and other sources. To make sure his Ashley Madison activity would not reflect in a background check, Ethan elected to employ Spokeo's opt-out feature.

1. Locating His Profile on Spokeo: Ethan went to Spokeo's website and entered his name, email address, and phone number. He discovered several profiles associated with him, some with outdated data.

2. Filling Out an Opt-Out Request Form: Spokeo provides individuals with the opportunity to delete their data from their site. Ethan went to the Spokeo Opt-Out Page and took the following steps:

• He entered the URL of his Spokeo profile.
• He provided his email address and a reason for the opt-out request (he selected “Privacy Concerns”).
• He completed a CAPTCHA to verify he was a real person.
• He submitted the request and received a confirmation email.

3. Following Up: Spokeo generally takes 24-48 hours to process opt-out requests. Ethan followed up after two days to make sure his profiles had been deleted. He did this for any other people-search sites he discovered his information on, including BeenVerified and MyLife.

Step 3: Clearing His Digital Footprint

Ethan understood that his information could still be fragmented throughout the web, so he took further action to reduce his online presence:

1. Employing a VPN: In order to cloak his internet activity, Ethan enrolled in a secure VPN provider. This made sure that his online traffic was encrypted and his IP address was covered, making it more difficult for others to trace his internet actions.

2. Wiping Browser History and Cookies: Ethan deleted his browser history, cookies, and cached information to erase any record of his Ashley Madison usage from his devices.

3. Removing Old Emails: He sifted through his email accounts and deleted any messages about Ashley Madison, such as the confirmation of account deletion.

4. Credit Report Monitoring: Ethan reviewed his credit reports to make sure that there were no questionable activity and accounts under his name. He also froze his credit as a precautionary measure.

Step 4: Utilizing Privacy Apps

To further safeguard his privacy, Ethan installed a **privacy app** on his mobile phone. Privacy apps assist people in concealing sensitive data like browsing history, app usage, and location information. He also activated two-factor authentication on all his accounts so that no unauthorized person could gain access.

Step 5: Staying Vigilant

Ethan was aware that it took constant work to take his information off the web. He created **Google Alerts** for his name and email address so that he would be informed if any fresh news about him was online. He also regularly monitored people-search websites to make sure his profiles weren't re-posted.

The Aftermath

Weeks became months, and Ethan's anxiety dissipated. Claire never brought up the Netflix show again, and everything went back to normal. But the experience instilled in Ethan a deep feeling of guilt and a rededication to his family. He understood how much he loved Claire and how silly he had been to risk their relationship.

One evening, as they sat on the porch watching Lily play in the yard, Ethan turned to Claire and said, “You and Lily are everything to me. I’d do anything to protect this family.”

Claire smiled, unaware of the storm that had passed. “I know, Ethan. We’re a team, always.”

Ethan nodded, his heart weighed down by the burden of his secret but also full of thanks for the second chance he had been offered. He promised never to drop his guard again, to be the husband and father his family needed. And although the specter of his past error would always haunt him, he knew that as long as Claire and Lily were with him, he could handle anything.

Key Takeaways

Permanently Delete Your Ashley Madison Account: Utilize the site's account deletion feature and verify the deletion through email.

Opt Out of People-Search Sites: Utilize Spokeo's opt-out page and do the same for other sites such as BeenVerified and MyLife.

Wipe Your Digital Trail: Utilize a VPN, delete outdated emails, and erase browser history to reduce evidence of your online activity.

Use Privacy Tools: Get privacy apps and activate two-factor authentication to safeguard your information.

Stay Vigilant: Create Google Alerts and monitor people-search websites from time to time to keep your information private.

Ethan's tale is a cautionary one regarding how you should safeguard your privacy and the measures you might have to take to keep your past transgressions from coming back to haunt you.