Hermit Crab

I'm inspired by your fearful words, somehow. Your perspective is too negative to absorb and live by, but in ways that I'd prefer to reject, it makes you my muse.

See, there is no way out right now. The universe conspired. I feel a resistance from you that is so thick... it's irritating and itchy. We are going to be here for a while.

A piece of that makes my soul tired. I want to sigh for a week straight, with no breath in between. A vision of joy if the grasp was loosened, but we are nowhere close.

You are a mirror that whispers things that aren't true. An antagonist. An affirmation of my truth, and sometimes an identification of the absolute. I feel pain for you. Because, at the root of things that pain is also mine.

The phrase, " I think, therefore I am" comes to mind and I just want to shake the thoughts out of you and blow new, kinder ones into your ears. There are times yes, when we choose a manicured easy path because there isn't much going on. This isn't one of those times.

You might go on thinking that's what this is for me, but you have no idea the depth of my water. You have no idea the waves I could send to barrel you under and spit you out right back onto the shore.

I have gotten over the pain of thinking that few will match my passion. I'm just trying not to scare you away too soon. Before our work is done. It is frustrating at times. But only hurt people hurt people, I am not one of them. I will use all of my strength to refrain from that very human tendency.

My real crime is the desire for you to feel what love is because I can see to your core. It's a shame that you can do it with such ease; try to hurt the ones who want in. The ones who you invite onto the front steps but never let them cross the threshold.

Just by being cavalier, and pretending to be invisible, you create wounds. Some like to call it being "laid back" but that's the furthest thing from the truth. I feel the stabs in my abdomen each time you start to open up and then suddenly recoil.

The key here is unlearning. Be brave, and deep-dive into life and what it presents to you, so you may recognize habits and break curses. Most of all so you can find your way to ever-glowing love. From the inside, out.

To live so strategically and generally isolated is a fool's game. We're supposed to taste all the fruit, even if some of it is slightly toxic and our stomach turns. How would we know not to eat it again? How would we discover the sweetest and most nutritious varieties?

We are resilient creatures. No need for walking so slow and delicate, without sound. We are vibrational beings. Let your steps create wavelengths of the truth that is your existence. Understand that we make our own rules and there is nothing wrong with chance.

I want to scream in your face about your worth so maybe you might hear it but afterward I want to hold you so tight. As time goes on and as my love bounces off of your rubber shield I realize the only thing you let penetrate is a blade. I won't do that to you.

It's painful to watch. An armor that represents the things that we are familiar with. Whether they are right or wrong. I'm dying to witness your light. I would never take it, I just want to see. I want to know that you feel the overwhelming joy that is your birthright. Your defense is so transparent. So why is it even there?

You sneaky little false hermit crab, tempting me like that to tear you from your shell. But I know it's wrong and that is a child-like and somewhat dark tendency fueled by curiosity and the pursuit of understanding. If you say you are a crab, I must respect you as a crab.

I am all too familiar with what happens when you try to force. So I will wait, I will play the catalyst. I will learn from you instead. I will observe and receive the messages your soul wants mine to have. I will hold onto hope that you are not so bound to your human story that your soul also receives mine.

Then, when it is time, we will spread our wings and fly away from each other. In our beaks, we carry a little package of new. It will look messy and unorganized at first. But once we land and unpack in our next reality, clarity arrives and she kisses you softly on the forehead. I know that only then, you will understand my intention.

I won't know exactly why in the moment that the feeling comes; but on that day, when we no longer know each other, the shock waves of your epiphany will reach me and I will smile and feel my heart swell with love and joy. Maybe that same day, or sometime after... you will cross my mind and I will only be able to recall the good.

It is always worth it. We were worthy the whole time.