Been Here the Whole Time

Even when the vibes are on high, and my ears are ringing with fire... I wanna hear you.

Even when I'm in the trenches of pain from being misunderstood, I want to know your side.

Even if you are feeling attacked and your tongue is like snakes and knives, I want to gain your perspective.

My intent is not to hurt you, I just want to understand. But I am also just a human.

I can wade through the lashings, meant to strike me. I can forgive simultaneously with the coming waves of devastation.

I know that only hurt people hurt people. I will not be one.

I can hold my lips closed even though they quiver with frustration, a part of me wants to let go of the arrow I so defensively pull back... but I would never.

It's a facade. My ego trying to keep me safe.

In reality, there is a gentle-eyed young girl, tears welling up and begging for you to understand her too.

I am growing tired of the days, of collecting lashings and wounds only for the sake of getting close enough to push love into your cracked armor...

Soon I will need to rest, I will need to be met with the same kindness and desire for understanding.

I've come as far as I am able, on my own.

This lifelong battle has made me weary.

This purpose no longer serves me.

The healer needs healing, too.