Flicker

OMG why is time moving so slow. I swear it said 10:53pm for the past 10 minutes on this desk clock. Wonder if I can just leave 7 minutes early without anyone noticing. I'm so exhausted & feel like I am missing a lot of hours of sleep from last night however I did some good work today. All the work is done for today and the next few days. I decided that I am definitely gonna start packing up so by the time I am done my relief is here. HOPEFULLY!

11:05PM...My relief is finally here & IM OUT this place, running (well speed walking)out the door. Speeding down the bike lane on my scooter going 30MPH rushing to get home to my long anticipated delight. It’s smooth when inhaled & pure relaxation once exhaled. I left her perfectly intact and on her square animated metal frame. Right on the edge of my night stand next to my bed. Speaking of bed I can’t wait to lay in mine. I am so tired and I really can not tell you why.

Stopped by the store to get me a bag of low sodium plain chips (tried to be guilt free) and a liter of water and of course I’m not cooking tonight so im getting a juicy meatball parmesan hero. Homebound Riding pass a bakery with the smell of buttery pastries filled the outside air. My scooter would not allow me to go any further. I made a sharp U-turn and was drooling over the bakery displays as I tried to figure out why I could not just keep heading to my foggy escape in my apartment.

One red velvet, one strawberry shortcake & one plain cheese cake with a medium cup of banana pudding. $25 worth of sweets that I know I should not devour in one night but will. "YAWNNNN" as I watch her pack the medium cup with the banana pudding. I started thinking about taking a nap maybe before I partake in this long awaited escape session. Although when It comes to my green buddy at home munchies & other priorities seems to change the order of things.

Here I am with bags on each side hanging from my scooter with food for me to consume in one night all in anticipation for this session. Going 15 MPH because I now have extra weight on the scooter. Going this slow has me nodding off a little bit however still very aware while riding. As soon as I get in I’m trying to be productive before the official wine down. I'm showering, a load of laundry and preparing for the next day as fast as possible. I'm setting up my feast so I can devour as soon as the munchies hit.

The sudden burst of energy helped a lot because I'm officially done with everything. Now its time for the settle down session that has been long awaited.

Flick Flick Flick… OH no, no fuel to ignite my Smokey bliss. Scurrying around the house of a daily green tree consumer, I could not find not one lighter. Last resort is using the stove, however I don’t want to go back and fourth to the kitchen. Also I really don't want to go back outside to the store. Once inside there is no going back out until the next day for work.

Yes! The candle lighter came in handy. Walking with a smile on my face to my room I attempt to ignite it to make sure it works. A large torch like flame came shooting out. Extremely happy I have fuel I sit down & open the box that cradled her upon her metal frame bed. "GASPPPPP!" WTF?

The box was fucking EMPTY! What the heck is going on, I distinctively remember perfecting this before leaving for work. "Am I Crazy? ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Trying to locate her I start looking around the bed and underneath certain objects in the room. Two beads of sweat run down the side of my face as I began to feel paranoid by my memory.

"Click click," the door unlocks, ”Babe I’m home!” I start running down the hall to greet the voice I hear. I tell him my disbelief in myself and my search for my stress reliever.

To my disbelief my boyfriend bursted with laughter & says “Do you not remember last night?” Looking at him majorly confused I said” I have literally been trying to recollect the events of the night but for some reason I just could not remember anything.”

He laughs while explaining that we played a game of drunk UNO. Basically you drink through out the whole game and weather you win or loose you take a shot. No wonder I could not recall anything of the prior night. I was drunk off playing the game. He further explains “You rolled one to smoke in the morning before heading to work but we ended up having some more fun and put that one in the air before falling asleep“

A sudden case of sadness fell upon me as I realized what I had done to myself. This long awaited bliss was suddenly halted by my temporary amnesia. My boyfriend suddenly hands me a black bag with a huge smile. I open the bag and it felt like a glowing light was shining back upon my face. I was so happy because I suddenly was not feeling like I was about to have a bad night.

He took the bag back from me and walked to the room and proceeded to assemble together the goods. I flocked behind him like a fiend out dog running to go outside.I then transitioned into a bunny because I hopped on the bed while he was putting together my anticipation.

Flick flick … FUEGO, inhale, hold and slowly let go. All the stresses of my day drifted away. I acknowlodged all of them but I was not making them a priority in my mind. I made this bliss a priority in that moment. Everything else will be a matter of thought later.