Finding Herself

A girl who is lost in the dreamland of “comfort zone aka happy place” would like to break free, and find herself again.

I wonder if “again” makes any impact here, ’coz she herself is unsure if she ever found the true “her.”

She had dreams. But they never were her passion. Everything was served to her as a beautiful platter.

Her parents gave her all the comfort they could offer, even when what they offered was, in reality, the bare minimum, she was satisfied. It was her comfort zone.

She had brains, which she rarely used. Friends she barely spoke to. But she had everything. She was educated, not in the best institutions, but at the places that satisfied her. That was her comfort zone.

She lived on and on, doing the bare minimum to survive, never calling in for attention.

Thus she started flowing with water. Very soon she became one with water. Nothing bothered her for she was in her comfort zone.

She did cry, she did weep, she was mad, she was sad but nothing mattered for she became water herself.

She bore 2 kids, 2 girls as beautiful as her. Their hearts in the future, she wish, will be the same as now – calm and peaceful. That is her prayer for them.

Now, there came this day, a day she never anticipated.

A day when she started asking herself questions.

A day when she questioned her 'being' itself, her purpose,

the past, present and future.

It was too late, but she realized it...

She is the water now.

She was flowing along with water, but when did she become the water itself?

it was life, life changed her.

And now, she has no smell, no shape, no texture.

She is what everyone around her is, what everyone want her to be.

Is this enough? Is this who I am? she asked.

There never was a definite answer for she was the 'water'.

Something told her she cannot be the water anymore.

She needs to find herself.

But when she looked around, it was water everywhere. She wanted to call out her name. But she couldn’t — she had forgotten it.

She wanted to look for herself, but she couldn’t remember what she used to look like.

Everyone said it’s nice to forget things. But for her, she had forgotten everything.

Now, she is like a newborn — only able to cry. She has to start with tiny, teeny steps.

She must learn to roll, find her feet, sit, stand, and then walk again.

To do this, she needs to remind herself that she once was someone — and that she can be someone again.

Let her take her small, uncertain steps. They will remind her —

a reminder to find herself,

to think, to look, to breathe, to smell,

to see, to walk, and to live.

First things first — this is the smallest baby step,

a glimpse into who you truly are.

Remember, you will stumble. You will fall.

But you must wake up.

Rising from your comfort is scary,

But it’s necessary.

Wake up. Don’t idle around.

The world is waiting for you.

But then she realized the sad truth, she needed Courage… something she never had

She was concerned, concerned about what others might think.

She was once bold, strong and courageous.

But then she lost everything, one by one.

She never spoke in public, not even to herself.

She never took on a new task in life for she was afraid.

Courage thus became a word she dreaded to think.

She was held back by thousands of invisible threads.

You could be one of those threads, you never know,

and she would never let you know.

She lived like this for eons, those invisible threads pulling her back, she lost herself.

But she was not ready to succumb.

There is a light within her, a light so small

than that of a firefly, a light so rare,

a light of life.

Now it’s time for her to go for the light.

Be courageous, take the leap of faith. Kindle it,

keep the light “alive.” Let it grow and outshine your fears.

Find the “you.”

You are strong, brave and kind.

Take the leap of faith, let “you” shine.