Everyone Thought I Was a Man

I never thought twice about gender when it came to writing. When I first started online, the cool thing to do was use a pen name. So, I used my first two initials with my last name.

I used a generic cat picture as my profile picture. After all, I was new to writing online and wasn't sure if I wanted my face all over everything I wrote. At least not until I saw how things went. Plus, I was still working full time in an office and they'd definitely frown upon my little side hustle.

I wrote a little bit of everything. Current events, technology, pets, real estate. You get the picture. I was trying to find what worked and what didn't. All the random topics did lead to a wide variety of clients later on.

Don't get me wrong. I fully expected some negative and weird comments. What I didn't expect was most everyone to think I was a man.

Nothing in my profile, image, or posts mentioned a gender. Yet, nearly every comment referred to me as a guy.

I honestly couldn't figure out why readers automatically assumed my gender. It wasn't a problem, especially if they were reading and enjoying my content.

The biggest issue happened when one person wanted to hire me to write content for their blog. I was thrilled. One of the requirements was a real picture.

It was a well respected blog, so I didn't think twice about providing a picture.

The follow-up email left me devasted.

"You're a woman. Why did you lie and lead people on? Do you have someone else writing for you? You write like a man. That's why I thought you'd be a great fit for our team."

So, my writing was only good when you thought I was a man. My words didn't change because of an assumed gender. My talent wasn't any different.

Apparently, using initials creates a bias. For so long, women hid behind pen names. They often used initials to help them compete with their male counterparts. It wasn't that one gender was better than another. Readers just had a natural bias that men were the better writers.

Surprisingly, that bias still exists. I wasn't trying to hide anything. I just wanted to share my voice. In fact, if the blogger had paid attention to replies I'd made on my posts, I even clarified I was a woman multiple times. And yes, people were always surprised by it.

The good news is I wrote about my experience and updated my profile to state I was a woman. I didn't want any more confusion. I also wanted to let other writers know about the sexist blogger. The site fell apart about a year after that due to some financial controversy. Bullet dodged.

By sharing that experience, I had multiple women reach out with similar experiences. Readers either thought they were men based on their name alone or they were turned down as writers simply because of their gender.

A common theme was women were only good at writing romance novels and smut. Sure, many women are great at both. But, we also have other thoughts in our pretty little heads.

I grew up reading a variety of genres. I honestly didn't think twice about the gender of the writers. All I cared about was the author's name so I could find more of their books. Looking back, I read slightly more female authors than male. Not a bias. I picked books based on the story.

Sometimes, I wish we could all write as a number. No name. No picture. Just words. Let the words say everything. Then, no bias based on how you look or what gender you are.

I wonder what would happen. Would more writers succeed? Would more writers feel safer expressing their thoughts? Or, would it create utter chaos with malicious writers hiding behind a number to hurt others?

No, I don't use a pen name anymore. Yet, I still get called a man occasionally simply because of what I write. I guess the bias may never change.