Don’t Be A Victim

Life. It’s filled with a lot of pleasure and a lot of pain. Life is a realm where so many unfair occurrences take shape. We end up facing so much unwarranted misfortune and then we’re left feeling like victims. Or maybe we really are just victims of our circumstances. Nevertheless, just because we’ve been made into victims, doesn’t mean we have to stay victims.

What happened to you? What is your displeasure? What is your trauma? What are you a victim of? Maybe you were in a relationship with someone you cared about deeply and the relationship fell apart for whatever reason, irreconcilable differences or possibly infidelity. Maybe you lost an opportunity for personal prosperity. Maybe you lost a loved one to death. Whatever the unfair circumstances, you can’t let it make you a victim.

Now I’m not saying that you’re not supposed to vent your frustrations or that you don’t have a grieving period when things go south. I’m saying that after you wallow in the painful aftermath you have to eventually pick up the pieces and move forward with your life. What exactly does not being a victim look like? Well that varies.

Broken Relationships. Many of your relationships and bonds will inevitably fall apart, it’s the circle of life. Whether you fell out with a friend or you broke up with a romantic partner. Maybe they even betrayed you and you felt justice wasn’t properly served. It’s okay to have a grieving period. It’ll be those moments where you cry because everything fell apart and you reminisce on all the good times you had that are now in the past. Make no nevermind about it, you are allowed to go through your stages of grief, but eventually you have to pick yourself up from the heartache and move forward with your life.

This happens best when you start by spend some time alone and work on healing yourself, by appreciating solidarity. After your solitude you have to appreciate the company of the other people in your life who love you dearly. There are other fish in the sea and if you don’t learn to swim with them you will get left behind. As for the ones who betrayed you, just know that they will in time face judgement.

Missed Opportunities. Don’t you just hate that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? The feeling that comes when you thought you were about to achieve success in something you didn’t. Maybe it was a job opportunity or a rejection from a prestigious institution you wanted to attend. Rejection really is a kick in the gut. It has a way of hurting your pride and making you feel like you just weren’t good enough. But when we’re rejected by a missed opportunity it’s always important to remember that this what you thought was a setback was really a setup for a comeback.

Learn to be open minded and change your outlook on the outcome. If you were rejected it wasn’t because you weren’t good enough, but because the opportunity you were pursuing wasn’t good enough for you. Even though it doesn’t feel like it, every rejection is a good thing because it just means that there’s a better opportunity in store for you. Keep an open mind like this and you’ll never be a victim of rejection.

Death and Tragedy. The only sure thing guaranteed in life is death. We all owe a death and when it claims the lives of our loved ones our hearts are ripped right out of our chests. Once again it is important to go through the grieving period. You cry your heart out and mourn for those you have lost, but eventually you have to move forward. When I was like 12 years old my mother told me that if something ever happened to her and she died an untimely death that I couldn’t give up on life and lay around feeling sorry for myself. She said I had to move forward and keep living my life.

When I was 17 years old my mother suddenly died in a car crash and sure enough I shed the tears felt sorry for myself and was very angry, but her words from five years earlier still rang loud and clear, I did move forward. I picked up the pieces from my broken heart and found my smile again by relishing my good memories with her, appreciating everything around me and choosing to take joy in atleast most of the moments that I’ve lived since she passed away. Though my mother passed away, I didn’t have to be a victim of her loss, so I chose not to be and though it is not perfect, I live a great life in her absence.

Benedictions.

Whether you’re struck by betrayal, disappointment or loss, don’t be a victim. Even if you were made into a victim, you don’t have to stay a victim. Grieve through your pain, but pick yourself back up and find your joy again. Life goes on and we have to go with it. Just remember that if you want to be happy after pain, you can be and if you choose to not let life keep you as a victim, then you will be.