Dear Self,

Dearest Self,

Adulthood is never easy. But when you reach the time of true freedom it comes at a price. Though you are free from your abusers, and toxic people you enter into a new world of unknown possibilities. It's never easy like you think it is. But it is better then you think too.

Your not alone anymore and though this may scare you there is no reason to think you're alone. You have the support of a great husband who is a goofy person, but you can talk to him like your equal. You can tell him anything you wish, without judgement. It's never easy for you to open up because every time you let your guard down to have just a little bit of hope it's snatched away from you.

Nothing is easy for you, was anything ever. You have an internal conflict always within you saying, am I worthy? Will I ever amount to anything? Why couldn't they love me? Why do they throw me under the bus? How are people so wicked? These answers my dear self will never be answered. Never you understand.

As you stare at this letter I am writing to you I hope this gives you clarity in knowing you will make it. You will struggle. But you aren't alone.

You are a great author, and writer. You may not get a lot of traffic yet but never give up that dream. You will find comfort in your craft that if others notice your stuff they will enjoy a good story.

You remember when you were in junior high Mrs. Stout had everyone write a letter to our future selves in hopes to give us hope. You found it so ridiculous because how could anyone know what their future selves would be thinking right at that present time.

When your bully of a grandfather passed away it was the best thing that ever happened to you because was verbally abusive, and emotionally damaged your psyche, and personality.

It would take you almost a year to get over everything you went through after Mommow died.

When you saw your best friend fade away from the Earth it tore your heart out because you just didn't want to believe it. After she died, your Mommow you would go throughout your life trying to find a mom figure.

Whatever you do don't do that anymore. People will take advantage of you.

Though you think you know this darling self, you don't. Please don't be stubborn please accept this because it's important that you do.

As I look at what has happened for almost a year you have been married to your husband you have experienced true happiness. True gratitude. Most importantly, true love. He loves you so much he is willing to come to America no pun intended to be with you.

Yes all those times your "Poppow", would say no man would ever want you because of your size. Because you aren't pretty enough. He was so beyond wrong. Because someone does love you unconditionally and he will never give up, or leave you whatsoever.

Your best friend you fell in love with is now your husband. He would do anything for you, and that's hard to believe for you but he would.

Don't ever give up on your dreams for being an author because right now you are acclaimed, you are known. Don't give up anything.

If you are in a financial bind don't give up keep working even if nothing in life is easy.

But always remember what Mommow always said, "Emily whatever you do never give up always keep working."

She is right you know.

Sincerely,

My future self.