Dear Alcohol

Dear Alcohol,

You have caused me to burn every bridge I have ever known.

I wish I would’ve known.

I never would’ve gone.

Now I’m alone and I deserve it.

You have turned me into a bad man.

You have turned me into an unfortunate fool and I used to just be fortunate.

I’m left with thoughts of people that I barely remember, but I will never forget.

I used to be fortunate.

Dear Alcohol,

You have turned my mind into a monster and my body into a deep dark pit.

I wish I could forget.

I know I deserve it.

But I used to be fortunate.

I used to be self confident.

I used to be bold.

I used to smile.

I used to picture growing old.

Now I’m left haunted by thoughts of her being cold and needing him for warmth.

Dear Alcohol,

You will never take her from me again.

I will lose to him everyday, but I will never let you win.

You took a pure child and turned him into a sick man.

An unthought out plan.

A dependent soul depending on anything it can.

You broke a swelling heart.

You made for some interesting art, but I’d give it all back for a fresh start.

Dear Alcohol,

I used to sing songs.

I used to see beauty in life.

If only I would’ve known that the bottle was a knife.

And well, I’ve come to learn that a man with a can does the best that he can.

But it’s not the can it’s the can’t.

It’s the won’t.

It’s the hurt.

It’s the taking a shower being left covered in dirt.

It’s the unbreakable bond between you and the bottle.

It’s a cold Belmont night with his hand on the throttle.

With the tree right ahead.

And the curve that he missed.

And the girl that I kissed.

Left me with you my dearest alcohol.

My one and all.

My fatal fall.

My faithful friend.

My means to an end.

Breaking these ties will not be easy, but I have broken ties with much more beautiful people.

And, I hate you for that.

I hate myself for that.

Dear Alcohol,

If I knew the places you were going to take me I never would’ve got in the car.

I never would’ve gotten this far.

Gotten this low.

Gotten this fast.

Gotten this slow.

Gotten to the point where I have lost everyone that I once cared to know.

Dear Alcohol,

If I knew how shallow you were I never would’ve gotten so deep.

You took him.

You took her.

You took me.

My heart.

My soul.

My sleep.

You left me self-serving.

Driving and swerving.

My body left feeling only deserving of you.

Dear Alcohol,

Living hard and landing soft makes no sense at all.

You don’t jump out of a plane and not expect to fall.

You don’t act how I did and expect her still to call.

But, I guess I just got stuck in it all.

The life.

The pain.

The people.

The game.

The overworth.

The constant self blame.

The remembering yours, but not my own name.

Life is not a game.

Dear Alcohol,

This is my last call.

I’m done with the fall and I’m passionate about the rise.

If these words don’t convince you then look into my eyes.

Dear Alcohol,

Do you remember the night JP died?

Well, I say this as his friend and yours.

Go fuck yourself!