Audible... Should we call one?

As a young and inspired writer, I have really taken this writing thing to heart. Yes, it's what I do almost all the time, when I'm not working. I love to write, I love to create, I love to live in a world of fantasy and science fiction. I work hard to make original content, free from plagarism and infringement on other artists concepts and ideas.

I've had my shares of ups and downs. I've heard so much about writers who do things that I feel cross the line. Things that SHOULD NOT BE DONE. For example... Being a prominent FAN FICTION author, and then, getting such a huge following exploiting the intellectual property of others, that you simply CANNOT resist the temptation, and then... well, this author just UNPUBLISHED the works, changed the character names, and VIOLA! She's got a brand new thing, huh.

Some of you might know who I'm talking about. Other's might know an author or two who fit that description. It's becoming a more popular thing to do. Pushing the boundaries of what is right and wrong, what's legal and what isn't. There's too much BULLSHIT in that, if you ask me. Doing something you think is illegal, because you might get away with it and make a shit ton of money off of it, is not right. Not by my standards anyway.

Another nefarious thing, and then again, maybe not so nefarious, it depends on how you look at it, is what I call "Star Studding Shit". Bejewling a piece of dog shit. Gold plated pond scum. The practice of having a big name author put their name on your bullshit. Maybe you put a lot of work into your novel and you really want to rake in a coupld hundred thousand and then, that's it. It's gonna be your one hit wonder. Fine. Throw a big author's name on that stinker (maybe it's not, who knows), but when I walk through the book section of a store and see TEN NEW RELEASES by a single prominent author, and each book has someone else listed as a secondary author... I'm out. Yup, just count me out. I'm not gonna pick it up. I'm just not. That's me, that's my personal opinion, you do what you like.

If you think that's just fine and dandy, and you're looking to enter the writing profession yourself, well... Someone working with Audible has something just for you. I say someone because, I'm not so sure it's Audible themselves, but their name and logo are on everything... Recently I got hit up on social media about this new way to MAKE CASH QUICK, and since it featured Audible, or was put together by Audible, I said "Hmmm, let's see what that's about." My significant other immediately asked what I was looking at, and what was it for. When I told her, she warned me away immediately.

So, being the curious pest I am, I asked her what was going on. She said, "well, if you wanna click the link and listen to their hour long offer, go ahead, but I'll sum it up for you in a jiffy." Well, obviously I was interested in hearing what she had to say, but I was not interested in wasting another hour of my life listening to an info-mercial. So...

Apparently Audible (or just these guys and gals using them? I don't know. Their Name and Logo is on all these advets.) has information on how to make cash quick. The guy in the promo shows a bunch of checks in his hands for different amounts, but I saw hundreds and thousands, so it looks tempting. A lot more tempting than the $17 and change I've made off of Vocal media, but I like writing and putting my works on Vocal. I'm not looking to get rich quick, or a ponzi scheme, or how to rip people off. Sorry. I run an honest business, and I pride myself on my morals. I'm a military veteran, a father, a husband, and a Mr. Know It All. I'll make it big before the end. But I'm gonna do it the right way. Righteous Glory. Eh.

Okay, so, the deal is, as far as I understand it, you, the person they are looking for, (the person they are looking to pay large amounts of cash, FAST, too) is supposed to do the work... in a way. See, at first I thought, "Audible is paying people to publish short stories?" and then I was like, "Oh shit! Can I narrate my own short stories? How about those sleep stories? I could do that! How about scary campfire stories? How about horror stories? Science Fiction! Fantasy!" All my hopes and dreams got shot down quick. NOPE. they are not looking for that.

So then I was like... Do they want people to read stories? Maybe some Shelock Holmes? Maybe some Battlestar Galactica? I dunno. But, no. Nope, nothing of the sort. So, they want you to find ghost writers. Okay so this sounds just like what I was talking about before. Having someone else do the work for you, and you slapping your name on it. YUP. Same thing. But, it get's worse.

So now YOU are paying a ghost writer to write a book for you. Sure, it would be your idea, and they would fill in the content, but still it's your idea, right? To me, this seems like a cheap way to flood the market with C- rated novels that young shmucks can slap their name on, and then they will charge you to find an narrator to read your book, you know, Audible is known for Audio Books... and then... you get ROYALTIES! Yay!

Did I mention the part where you need to front the money to the ghost writer, come up with the idea, pay an Audible narrator to make an audio version, and then HOPE, and I mean HOPE LIKE HELL, that it get's a lot of paying readers to read or listen to your quasi-original work. Yeah, I know there's plenty of big names doing ghost writing, which is why a lot of the works have absolutely nothing to do with one another. In fact, since each book is done by a different writer, their styles and word choice are largely going to be very different from one to another.

So, there's more information, more caveats, etc. This entity that is using Audible and their platform and publisher, requires that you buy into their "program" and then you'll have exclusive access to their list of cheap chost writers... and then you can hire one of their artists to do cover art for your - well not your novel, but someone else's novel you put your name on! Did I mention it's 2 grand for the membership? Normally 4 grand, but if you sign up right then through the webinar, it's HALF PRICE! As my asshole father used to say whenever something was a complete rip-off, "Such a deal my friend! Two for the price of four!"

Did I mention it has to be... non-fiction. Non-fiction means, based in reality. Maybe a true life story. Maybe. Some science fiction from way back in the day is actually becoming non-fiction. Lord help us if the military decides to call their next combat weapons system "Skynet". But the fact remains, this is what they are looking for. I just can't wrap my head around it.

Now, I'm a big fan of L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the future Series. But that's not Ron trying to pass off someone elses work as his own, or even a collaboration, unless we're holding a seance, it's kinda impossible, right? But I love anthologies, short story compiliations, and all things of that sort. But I really wonder about this ghost writing thing. How are you supposed to get anyone to read or listen to your stuff?

Well, they cover that too. They tell ya how you can go to specific groups and pass around your FREE READ/LISTEN Code so that people who might be tight on cash (college students, school students, young impressionable minds, social media influencers, whatever), can then enjoy your, well not your work but, the work you slapped your name on, and then they can leave you a review. Honest reviews for good work are hard to come by. If I could, I'd go leave maximum star reviews on every Dune book by Frank or Brian Herbet. R. A. Salvatore. Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. Anne McCaffery. Kevin J. Anderson. Just a couple authors to note. I'd leave reviews for all of them, and then some... I just... don;t have the time, or motivation. Maybe when I'm in my 90's and I've got nothing to do but leave comments on other people's works, I'll make it a point to leave all those authors the best reviews I can. But until then... I think I'll just complain about this.

Giving people shit for free, in order to get free reviews, is one step from paying someone for positive reviews. It's amoral. It's bullshit. And I certainly don't want my Audible recommendations being clogged up with a ton of abstract authoris who really didn't do anything but enlist in this get rich quick scam. Then again, maybe some young authors looking for some quick cash can make bank off of your name, and then, if their content sucks, they don't care. They got paid, right? And you? Well, you can be confident that you contributed to the livelihood of someone else. Maybe you will make some big bucks fast, but it won't be off of someone like me.

I know my authors. I have a wish list a hundred books long and my Audible subscription gets me two a month, I think? I have over a hundred books in my library already. I'll be picking some oldie's but goodies, long before I pick some Rando-Author with a Ghost Rider... or sorry... Ghost Writer, doing the work for them.

Peace Out!