A Time for Reflection

This story has been edited recently. Edits are indicated by strikethroughs; I didn't want anyone to miss out on the original article.

When I accidentally clicked on a certain ad while doom scrolling on Facebook, I did not expect this. Actually, I didn’t expect much of anything. I created my free account October 2021 (which I only know that because of a nice little profile detail, thank you Vocal), looked around, and didn’t touch it again until over a year later.

By this point, COVID-19 wasn’t at a pandemic level anymore. Instead, it was just something else we dealt with, kind of like the flu. While, thankfully, I never caught COVID-19, a long list of hardships caused my mental health to take a turn for the worse. They can easily be linked to two different things.

First, my job. I was one of the fortune few who was able to keep their job throughout the worst of the pandemic. But, with less of a skeleton crew (most took the option of COVID-19 unemployment), the demands of my job reached a level I can’t comprehend now. The stress reached a fever pitch, to the point, I lost 15 pounds in less than three weeks. Even after everyone returned, the stress continued to drain me physically, emotionally, and mentally. I finally changed my employment, and it is part of the reason I am doing much better now.

Second, my personality. As an extremely extroverted person (most of the time), I thrive off face to face, in person connections. I don’t like keeping up through text and phone calls, and as a general rule, I am a very physical person (big gesturing and big hugs). Six feet apart and quarantine, especially self-quarantining in my family’s home, was a massive blow. Zoom, a video conferencing website and app, helped with keeping up with certain people, but some days, it was not enough.

To start coping, I began to read and write poetry. It helped some; something about having your feelings written down and giving them voice, it’s therapeutic. And yes, I know the same can be said of journaling or writing in a diary. Trust me, I have tried and tried time and again. I could never get into it like I did with poetry.

Anyway, in time, I had written up quite the collection. After reading so many other’s collections of their journeys with their mental health, it lit up the desire in me to release one myself. Creating the book was the easy part; the hard part was building up the courage to publish it.

I decided to start looking for a writing community where I could start publishing my poetry. At this time, I forgot about my Vocal account; it wasn't until I tried to make a new one, "there is already an account linked to this email," I remembered. Or more, I said, "when did that happen?"

Once I fought with the lovely reset your password process, (anyone else felt some deja vu when a certain challenge came along?), I bit the bullet and paid for the first year and discounted subscription.

Right away (give or take a few days), I wrote my first and published story, Escaping Paradise Planet, entering it into the New Worlds Challenge.

That was ten months ago. Now I have published 40 stories, mostly fiction and poetry, with the occasional submission into other communities. Thanks to the many Vocal + Challenges, I have jumped out of my comfort zone and explored themes I never would have before. I haven't had the honor of winning a Challenge or been considered for a Top Story, but I am fine with that. My main goal was to gain the confidence to have other people read my work and that goal has been reached. Although, receiving a Top Story achievement is a nice goal to reach.

At the beginning of this year, I self-published my poetry collection, instead of therapy, (yes, I am shamelessly self-plugging here). Even though I haven't sold any copies, I am proud of myself for trying.

***

Lessons I Have Learned:

1. Practice (and time) makes better. I made a mistake in the beginning and almost only wrote when a challenge was available. Now, even if I am not planning on entering something into an ongoing challenge, I will take the time to write and post to giving me some practice in between challenges. You can't expect to be perfect; you will always find even a small mistake when you go back and read your stories. (Plus, you know, the small fact that no one is perfect.)

2. Don't have extremely high expectations for yourself. Every time your heavenly expectations aren't meet, the more times you will be disappointed if you don't place in a challenge or if not a lot of people read one of your stories. It could discourage you to the point where writing feels more like a chore or something you ditch.

3. Vocal + will keep improving. When I first started, the focus was more on quantity over quality. Now, it's quality over quantity, as made evident by the longer amounts of time available with challenges. Also, they are making a point of encouraging more social interaction with social media and comments. (Bonuses galore!)

4. People are more likely to read and respond to your stories if you take the time to do the same for theirs. That is what it feels like. With the encouragement for more substantial commenting recently, I started making a point of commenting and liking more. The first day, I did this, I went from a couple reads in one day to a whopping nine reads. Yes, it was only for that one day, but I have had more days where I have seen people reading my stories.

***

Now it's time for a breakdown. (Any En Vogue fans, anyone?)

My Favorite Story: Saving Her From Afar, with It's Okay to be Vulnerable as a close second

Most Read Story: It's Okay to be Vulnerable (7) (although Saving Her From Afar is probably going to pass it soon; it is at 6 as of June 14) This story, A Time for Reflection

Most Liked Story: Saving Her From Afar (3), A Time for Reflection

The Biggest Flop: Stella: Seal Agent (I honestly don't know what I thinking when I wrote this.)

Thank you for reading! Comment below if you have a favorite story of mine.

I have a few different stories in the works, so be on the lookout!