10 Ways to Overcome My Anger

I'm writing this from my bedroom, where I used to punch pillows and slam doors so hard the pictures would shake on the walls. My name doesn't matter – what matters is that I found ways to tame the fire inside me. If you're reading this with clenched fists or a racing heart, these ten lessons might save you like they saved me.

1. Take Deep Breaths (Like You're Blowing Out Birthday Candles)

When I learned to breathe properly, everything changed. Here's how: Breathe in through your nose for four seconds, imagining you're smelling fresh cookies. Hold that breath for four seconds, like you're making a wish. Then exhale through your mouth for six seconds, as if you're cooling down hot soup.

2. Walk Away (Your Feet Are Smarter Than Your Fists)

Walking away isn't weakness – it's wisdom. When anger floods your brain, your feet can carry you to safety before your mouth gets you in trouble. Even a walk to the bathroom can save you from saying words you can't take back.

3. Count Backwards (Make Your Brain Too Busy for Anger)

Counting backwards from ten forces your logical brain to take over from your emotional brain. I like to count in different languages or use colors: "Ten-blue, nine-yellow, eight-green..."

Zain's story still inspires me: At our school science fair, someone knocked over Zain's volcano project he'd worked on for three weeks. Red paint splattered everywhere, his research papers soaked. Everyone expected him to explode worse than his volcano. Instead, he closed his eyes and counted: "Ten-Mississippi, nine-Mississippi..." By the time he reached one, he was actually smiling. "Well," he said, "at least now it really looks like it erupted!" The judges were so impressed by his composure that he won a special recognition award for sportsmanship.

4. Write It Down (Your Journal Never Judges)

I keep three journals now: one for dreams, one for gratitude, and one for anger. The anger journal has heard things I'd never say out loud. Writing channels rage through your pen instead of your voice.

5. Think Before You Speak (Five Seconds Can Save Five Years)

The five-second rule isn't just for dropped food. Before responding in anger, count to five. Those seconds are like a safety net for your relationships.

Umar's wisdom stays with me: His older brother called him a "useless baby" in front of his friends. Umar's face burned with embarrassment and rage. He wanted to reveal his brother's embarrassing secrets in revenge. Instead, he bit his tongue and counted to five. In those five seconds, he remembered all the times his brother had defended him. He simply said, "That hurt" and walked away. Later that evening, his brother apologized – genuinely. They laugh about it now, but if Umar had retaliated, they might still be enemies instead of best friends.

6. Exercise Daily (Sweat Out the Anger)

Exercise is like a pressure valve for anger. When you run, punch a bag, or dance wildly in your room, you're giving anger a physical exit instead of a verbal one.

7. Pray or Meditate (Find Your Sacred Silence)

Whether you pray, meditate, or simply sit in nature, finding a spiritual practice gives anger less room in your heart. It's like opening windows in a smoky room.

8. Talk to Someone You Trust (Your Voice Needs a Safe Space)

Sometimes anger needs to be heard, not acted upon. Finding someone who listens without judging can deflate anger like a slow leak in a balloon.

Bilal's courage inspired me: He was struggling with bullying at school, carrying anger that made him want to fight back violently. Instead of exploding, he talked to his favorite teacher during lunch. He expected lectures about "being the bigger person." Instead, she listened, really listened. She didn't scold – she helped create a plan. She said, "Your anger is valid, but let's channel it into change." Together, they started an anti-bullying program. His anger became his purpose.

9. Remember the Consequences (Future You Will Thank Present You)

Before acting on anger, fast-forward to tomorrow. Will you be proud or ashamed? This mental time travel has saved me countless times.

10. Practice Makes Progress (Not Perfect)

These techniques aren't magic spells. They're tools that get stronger with use. Some days I still fail, and that's okay. Progress isn't a straight line.

Last week, I used seven of these techniques in one day. My period had started, my assignment got deleted, and someone spread rumors about me. Old me would have become a hurricane of destruction. New me took breaks, journaled furiously, called my aunt, and went for a run. By evening, I was tired but proud.