Why You Never Insult A Midget

At a young age, I was never really one to filter my words. Whatever came to my mind, I just spat out without a care in the world. On one day during my 7th grade year in middle school, I had the chance encounter of meeting the smallest kid in my class. She was a midget, and certainly wasn't afraid of standing up for herself despite her small stature. During our school lunch hour, when everyone was standing in line to obtain their daily munchies, she stood behind me. She tapped my side and asked me if I would allow her to Chinese Cut in front of me. Now at that time, lunch was a dangerous time and nobody wanted to ever give up their spot. To her I said, "No way you short, fat midget". I turned around and just waited for the lunch line to move. Unbeknownst to me, I had lit a fire that should have never been lit and I got burned with it. The pain came right from my rump and it hurt like heck. I looked back with a quick turn of my head and saw her, literally biting my rear end with all her might.

My lungs sounded like they leapt out of my chest as I screamed in agony. I tried to get her to let go, but she would not release her grip. Running certainly didn't help me as it just made the pain even more apparent. Even kicking back at her didn't seem to do anything. Finally, a school teacher happened to hear the noise and came to see what was going on. At first, she just stared. Then, she brought out in unbridled laughter at my ridiculous state. The other students who were witnessing this little event also laughed, but I was having none of it. Eventually, the teacher managed to pry my fellow classmate from my rump and dragged her off to the principles office as she kicked and screamed in defiance. Another teacher soon came to help me and brought me to the school nurses office. She had bitten me so hard that she had left a pretty good scar on my rear and I still carry it to this day. Later that day, my mother came to pick me up and heard of what had transpired. She just laughed heartily as she had previously told me to not filtering my words would eventually land me in hot water. She took me home and it ended up were I had to get some ice to help stop the swelling from where that midget had clamped on. A few days later, I was in the same lunch line again, waiting for my turn to get something to eat so that I wasn't sleeping through class. Then, I felt a familiar tap on my side. Looking back, I saw her again, that little midget who had bitten me a few days prior. She just grinned at me with her shiny white teeth. Then, what she said next chilled me to the bone. "Are you going to let me Chinese Cut you, or do I need to bite something else for you to get the point?" My body stiffened up after remembering what happened last time. A few of the kids behind me giggled and had expectant eyes awaiting my response. In the end, I stayed quiet and let her pass. She was eventually temporarily suspended for threatening to bite me again I found out. Just a little lesson for any of you who can't keep their mouths shut. Beware the midgets! They are more dangerous that you could ever imagine.