Why Our Family’s Gingerbread House Was a Total Baking Fail

It has taken me years to be able to laugh as a parent at our family's epic failed attempt at baking a gingerbread house for the holidays. With my two young sons, we thought it a good idea (what was I thinking?!) to spend a day baking together to give a gingerbread house to grandma for Christmas. Oh, my delusion as a young mother.

The dream of gingerbread houses

Baking holiday treats like gingerbread houses and other food favorites often bring fond memories of years gone by.

As a young mother of two rowdy sons, I wanted to create some lasting memories of holiday baking that we could remember for years. I did meet that goal, but not in the way I intended.

I had visions of a warm cozy kitchen with a fire in the stove going, on a rainy or snowy cold fall/winter day, making it cozy and homey inside.

I thought of making the gingerbread dough from scratch with my kiddos licking the beaters as the warm, spicy delicious smell of fresh gingerbread baked in the oven.

Of course, these gingerbread house sides were each carefully and meticulously cut by hand.

We would have our favorite Christmas music playing softly in the background, while we sometimes sang along with warm, fuzzy feelings filling our hearts.

We would decorate the gingerbread house together with a huge array of our favorite candy. This would allow my sons' budding creativity to flourish and take shape in their masterpiece.

We would then present this as a gift to Grandma: a gingerbread house with childlike decor (so it was known that the grandsons authentically made it). You know, we wouldn't want anything too fancy, that would hint mom made it.

Can you see the illusion? The grand set-up?

Oh, by the way, my oldest son was ADHD, extremely hyperactive and anything with extra sugar or red food dye would amp him up three-fold. So peaceful to be around.

The budget struggle of Holiday gift-giving

Since we were a single-income young family, money was very tight. Finding the budget for holiday gift-giving was tough, hence the reason for making Grandma a gingerbread house in the first place. I thought it would be economical. Wrong.

The cost to buy all the candy and supplies needed to decorate it was way beyond my wildest imagination. I was in sticker shock at the grocery store of $75. nearly thirty-five years ago. In today's grocery costs, it easily could have been triple that. It was a true sacrifice in the finances for this. But….grandma was worth it.

The gingerbread experience disaster begins

My first rude awakening to reality began with the music. I had thoughts of the classic Christmas music known to everyone, ushering in a peaceful, happy atmosphere.

What really happened? The kids whined and whined until I relented to their wish of Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Music. Have you ever had to endure hours of the high-pitched chipmunk singing? The kids loved it, mom, not so much. I likened it to running fingernails down a blackboard.

This started to burst my fantasy bubble and set a tone for more to come.

Making the gingerbread dough

Our gingerbread dough turned out good. TOO GOOD. This presented a challenge in that we all couldn't keep it out of our mouths.

After our 'testing' to make sure the dough was ok to use, I realized we no longer had enough to adequately cut the house sides.

So more dough had to be made.

FYI, if you are baking gingerbread houses, it's a great idea to make ALOT of extra dough to account for any pieces that break, get burnt, or otherwise won't fit correctly when constructing the house.

In fact, it's an excellent idea to make two of each house portion in case of those mishaps. Ask how I know.

The fireplace needed to be tended. At this point, the first sibling squabble started. Who's turn it was to get a piece of wood. The fun begins.

Assembly of the gingerbread house

Due to the breaking and a few burnt edges of some of the house pieces, the process of getting a viable piece that fit the house properly, took HOURS.

Tempers flared as the boys' fighting and impatience got the best of them. They wanted to get on to the fun stuff of decorating.

My oldest was vibrating on the ceiling with activity at level ten, as the sugar rush hit him from the dough.

My job was to assemble the house with the hard frosting, the 'glue' that would hold the pieces together.

Of course, it takes TIME for the frosting to properly set up and harden. This time it was mom's temper tantrum that flared.

We were all frustrated, on a sugar high and cranky.

Good times for all.

Now that it was evening, we decided the house needed to wait overnight (uh, mom to recharge), and we would decorate the next day.

You know how kids love to wait and the news that it was now bed time.

Decorating the gingerbread houses

The next day, we set up to decorate the houses. I refused the Chipmunk Christmas music this time around and limited the amount of candy they could munch on while decorating.

Things went much better today, but not perfect.

In the night while the frosting was setting up, pieces had shifted and the structure of the house parts didn't line up correctly.

They looked like old gingerbread shacks.

The boys were not happy about this, and there was no fixing it.

I forgot to mention that in yesterday's baking, I got distracted by all the fighting and over-cooked the gingerbread.

It was now so rock hard, you could break a tooth on it.

In fact, a piece accidentally fell on the floor to our dog's great delight. As she rushed over to wolf down that cookie morsel, she promptly let it fall out of her mouth and walked away.

Great, a gingerbread that even the dog won't eat!

Well Grandma, here's your gingerbread house, the gift the boys made you. Sorry that it's ugly and inedible, filled with epic fail memories and tantrums had by all. Given the cost at every level, it was expensive, and it's all we've got.

It was a gift only a Grandma could appreciate.

So have any of you tried making gingerbread houses with kids? From scratch? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

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If you are looking for low-cost ways to make some homemade holiday gifts, you might want to check out my articles about making sugar cookies, and homemade jar gifts. Both are homemade gifts that family, friends or coworkers, would enjoy receiving and won't break the budget.

By Val Garner - all rights reserved.

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