Who Needs Andrew Huberman’s Morning Routine When You Have Dogs

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I love to read about or watch someone’s perfect morning routine to set up their day for success. I have always wanted to adopt one of these so-called perfect routines.

You know, the ones where you open your eyes and are excited to start the day. You jump out of bed, hop in a cold shower, delay coffee for 90 minutes, and appear bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by 545 a.m.

Wow, that’s the secret success formula?

While working in the hospital, I read the 5 am Morning Club and desperately wanted to be part of it. I had already woke up at 445 to go to work, so I decided to wake up at 4 am.

I followed the steps and always fell asleep on the couch ¨meditating¨. For me, this was a bunch of BS. It did not make me any more successful; it only made me feel like a failure because I could not wake up at 5 a.m. on my days off, and I was not bright-eyed and ready to start the day by 6 a.m.

Instead, I was pissy and couldn’t get any work done, but I always went to yoga, pilates, or a walk. Working out has never been my issue, nor has eating healthy.

Waking up early, yes, that always has been.

Yet I don’t think we are all meant to wake up at 5 am; some of us need more sleep, depending on when we fall asleep.

Enter Andrew Huberman for all self-productivity gurus and those who want to be gurus.

Every few years, a new guru tells us how to set up our day for success. After quitting my nursing job, I gave up any morning routines and now wake up when I want, without an alarm.

In turn, did I discover the secret to success?

Wake up when you want, quit your job, and pray you make enough money.

The need to produce and be successful outweighs that 5 a.m. routine. I don´t have to wake up at 5 a.m. to know that I have to work and self-motivate myself daily.

Sorry, Mr. New Guru.

However, I still indulge and see what this latest guru says.

Today, as I was half asleep walking my dogs at 7:30, I started thinking, who needs a guru when you have the ultimate morning routine: dogs?

So, let’s compare what Huberman says and what my dogs demand.

A. Huberman’s ultimate morning routine for optimal daily performance — wow, that sounds amazing. Compared to my dog’s ultimate morning routine for optimal performance, let’s see who’s more productive.

Ten minutes of morning sunlight Huberman vs. Dog

He states that you MUST get 10 minutes of morning sunlight exposure to regulate your circadian rhythm, especially before you look at your phone. Other gurus say to wake up to your circadian rhythm.

Ahem, no alarm clock. You got it!

At 7–7:30 a.m., my dog shoves his face in my face with his stinky breath, breathing heavily on me with a slight whine and mini bark — aka the dog’s alarm clock.

OK, I wake up, put on my shoes and his leash, and walk him for 20–30 minutes. I guess I just got my 10 minutes of daily sunlight exposure; thanks, pup.

Hydrate upon waking/moving your body.

Huberman also states that you must hydrate upon waking. After returning from my walk, I got my daily allotted morning sunlight and moved my body.

I am dying because I live in the mountains. We have walked up and down a few hills, and I need water. So do the dogs.

Delay caffeine intake for 90 minutes.

I must delay caffeine intake to 90 minutes, but that is not a problem as I am already awake, and most likely, Baki has escaped and is running wild on the farm, aka playing in the pond, so I have to go chase him down, and he runs away from me.

So I run down the hill and up the hill.

Alternate between cardio and weight training.

I think this counts as alternating between cardio and weight training. Chasing and pulling a dog up and down the hill, at least, is a workout for my arms and legs.

Check and check.

Okay, I think at some point he eventually eats and has coffee. By the time I get back to the house and organize the dog, it has been around 90 minutes, so I make breakfast and have coffee.

Ninety minutes of focused work.

Then, he recommends a 90-minute session of focused work.

I have coffee work, and in 90 minutes, the dog needs an after-breakfast walk, aka he needs to poop, and he is being trained to poop on his daily walks. He does good. So a walk, break, rest.

Check, check, check.

Rest at some point.

Perfect timing to rest a bit after the dog’s walk, and according to Huberman, this is the time to rest for 10–30 minutes; I am either resting or brushing the dog’s fur because, remember, he ran down the hill and is covered in burrs.

A lady who passed me while walking told me my dog was dirty and needed a bath daily. Thanks, lady, he is just a dirty dog; I try.

Another 90-minute work session.

I assume that after we have eaten, I have another 90-minute work session and rest, which is the perfect time to walk the dog again. So I do and repeat until the evening.

Evening sunlight exposure.

By this point, it is five p.m., and the dog needs his walk. Also, this is where Huberman would like to remind us that we need at least 10–15 minutes of evening sunlight exposure, aka another dog walk.

Oh, and another one after he eats at 7 p.m., so I double-dosed evening sunlight exposure.

The article I read left out the cold water plunge, so my cold water plunge involved me washing my dog and left covered in cold water. That counts, right?

So, effectively, if you own a dog, live a simple rural life, or work on a farm, you do not need any of these gurus to tell you how to live. Do you need them anyway?

Nature will tell you, and nature is free.

These gurus never stop annoying me when all the advice you need is to get outside, which is free. I appreciate Andrew Huberman’s advice, though. He has done a lot of research as a scientist, but do I think we need to do what most of them recommend? No.

They all make money on people being pretty … cough… stupid, and needing direction on everything in life. Sorry, I had to say it.

Life is not that complicated.

My dog’s daily routine is better than his recommendations, and he doesn’t listen to podcasts. So you don’t need a guru—just a dog (hehe).

Sometimes, you must remove yourself from the bubble of so-called normal society to see the big picture.

XOXO

S.