What I've Learned from Living in Montréal...

It must be said that certain towns have a charm of their own, one that you do not appreciate until you leave and see what the wider world provides. I have lived in Montréal since the early 2000s (had visited in 1999 after attending a wedding), and I see no reason to return to my hometown (Hamilton), its loud neighbour (Toronto), or any other region I cannot afford or access without the benefit of an automobile.

This is where I belong.

But I feel like I should say a little more about this city for those of you considering a visit or a more permanent stay.

There is a particular etiquette you will need to know if you want to spend any time at all in this city. It is Montréal Etiquette, and it has nothing to do specifically with language (at least on the surface). It has nothing to do with attitude (at least beneath the surface). It has everything to do with your interactions with the citizens of the city.

Here is a list of things that might help you if you end up on the streets of this fair ville:

1. You do not have right of way when you are leaving the metro or bus: yes, you do want to leave after you have reached your stop, but you must understand that the person standing in front of you has found a perfect place to stand on a crowded bus ride, or simply cannot wait to get on the metro and find a seat. You will have to negotiate the herd of commuters who cannot acknowledge you and unapologetic. Just weave through them and move on with your day.

2. Tourist traps got those titles for a reason: everyone wants to see what makes this city so special. The Vieux-Port is crowded out all summer long; the Place-des-Arts will always be the centre of the Jazz Festival; and smaller film festivals will take over colleges, universities, galleries and theatres for the rest of the year. So, you will probably want to find another spot. Why not head to the mountain? Yes, it can be crowded...unless you know where and when to walk. Summer and spring are quite popular, so try to go for hikes in the autumn and winter. Do not mind the cold, darkness, and the occasional wild animal (hopefully, not human). It is an experience worth enjoying.

3. Driving is a spectator sport: you will never see drivers like the drivers to be seen in the city. Would you like to see someone reverse down a one-way street because they suddenly realized that they are going to wrong way? No problem. Need to see someone cut off another driver because the road has narrowed due to road construction? Easy-peasy! And are you at all concerned that you won't find a place to park if you happen to be one of those drivers? Well, you should be...

4. Homelessness is a social tax: it may seem cruel of me to make such a statement, but there will be sidewalks, bus stops, and other areas that are total no-go areas because of the large numbers of sans-abri who have taken over. There are camps that are being moved and bulldozed, but do not fear: you will have a chance to interact with them. And they want to interact with you. They really do. A few spare quarters and loonies will still all conversation. And be careful at the outdoor terrasses! They are not above stealing food from your plate (it is amazing what hunger and a lack of hope can do). Pay your taxes.

5. You wanted this: you chose to visit a city that has often been called Canada's playground, possibly because you thought that it would still have the same amenities and sites from the days of Expo and the '76 Olympics. Well, you can find them, buried under weeds, faded paint and mortar, and crumbling in long-abandoned parks. This is the experience of a lifetime, and you should try to enjoy it all and take it all in. You can only live once; Montréal forces you to live it all again and again.

Enjoy!

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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