Trump vs. His Reflection: An ICEy Reception

[Scene: Mar-a-Lago bathroom. Trump storms in, red-faced, fists clenched. He’s clutching his phone. The mirror shows Reflection Trump—this time wearing a full gas mask and holding a bright pink sign that simply reads: “NO ICE IN LA.” The Reflection leans casually against the glass.]

Trump (furious): “Can you believe this?! Musk—ELON—stabbed me in the back! After everything I said about him! After calling him a genius, a visionary! After saving his stupid little Tesla stock with my economy! And now—now—he’s turning on me! Calling me ‘unstable’ on Twitter! I mean X!! Whatever!”

Reflection Trump (muffled through gas mask, deadpan): “Sad. Very sad. Almost as sad as federal agents in masks. Oh wait—”

[Reflection waves the bright pink sign lazily.]

“NO ICE IN LA.”

Trump (blinking at the sign, confused):“No ice in LA? Well of course there’s no ice! I’ve told you climate change is a hoax. There IS no ice in LA!”

[He pauses, eyes darting, then quickly tries to cover.]

“I mean—ICE! The agency! They’re doing important work! Very important! Keeping America safe! Gotta protect the country—you don’t know who’s out there! Could be—could be very bad people!”

Reflection Trump (tilting head, voice bone-dry): “Ah yes. Of course. I’m sure the guys picking up day labor shifts at Home Depot… and the seamstresses sewing knockoff MAGA hats in the garment district… clear and present dangers to national security. Real public enemy number one, huh?”

Trump (waving hands, sputtering): “Well—you don’t know! Some of them could be—could be connected! You don’t know! We’re vetting! Tremendous vetting! Very thorough! The best!”

Reflection Trump: “Uh huh. The best. Almost as effective as your fraud task force. Almost.”

[Pauses, exaggeratedly thoughtful.]

“Hey—here’s an idea: why not send ICE agents to SpaceX? You never know about those rocket scientists. Some of them could be connected. Very dangerous lab coats. And they wear masks too! Gotta be suspicious, right?”

Trump (face reddening, voice rising to a full rant): “You—you’re DISLOYAL! You’re supposed to be me! You should be standing up for me! For ICE! For LAW AND ORDER! Not standing there with your stupid gas mask and your little protest sign MOCKING me! ICE is doing great work! PATRIOTS! The BEST! And Musk—Musk is a TRAITOR! DISGUSTING! Everybody’s turning on me! NO LOYALTY ANYWHERE!”

Reflection Trump (adjusting the gas mask, voice calm and dripping with sarcasm): “Calm down, Donald. Wouldn’t want your blood pressure spiking again. Remember what the doctor said—less stress, fewer Big Macs.”

[Leans closer to the glass, voice cool.]

“And loyalty? Loyalty goes both ways, champ. You should try it sometime.”

[Waves the “NO ICE IN LA.” sign again.]

“Now smile for the cameras. The ICE guys love a good photo op. Especially in their masks.”

[Just then, the bathroom door creaks open. In walks Karoline Leavitt—wearing the same floor-length, all-white dress with a pointed white hood as in the previous installment. She’s pulling the hood off her head and muttering.]

Karoline (muttering): “Ugh. These stupid masks always ruin my hair. Oh—hi sir. Hope you don’t mind if I check my makeup…”

[Right behind her is Marjorie Taylor Greene—also dressed in an identical floor-length white dress and matching pointed hood, grinning vacantly. She pulls her hood halfway back and starts fanning herself.]

MTG (stammering slightly, blinking): “W-whew! H-hot in here! Th-these hoods really trap the heat, huh, Karoline?”

[Karoline, adjusting her hair, glances at the reflection—still in the gas mask and holding the “NO ICE IN LA.” sign—and smirks.]

Karoline: “Nice mask. Honestly? Better than ICE’s, if you ask me.”

[MTG’s eyes light up, pointing excitedly at the sign.]

“Oooh! That’s a great slogan! ‘NO ICE IN LA’—we should totally use that! Maybe for the next rally!”

[Trump freezes mid-rant, eyes darting between the two women, mouth opening and closing soundlessly.]

Reflection Trump (with a dramatic sigh, voice dry as the desert): “Ah yes… the future of American fashion. And apparently, campaign strategy.”

[Slow, sarcastic salute with the “NO ICE IN LA.” sign.]

“We’re in very good hands”

[Somewhere in the void a flash bang explodes]