The Special

The rain pelted the window as Sarah wiped the smudged coral lipstick from her chin and swigged more wine. She was in her underwear after an argument with the "effing" wardrobe. The clothes rebelled and took it upon themselves to be horrendously displeasing right before the date. She was wearing Hello Kitty briefs, which no man would ever see. She liked to think she had self-control but a failsafe was necessary. She fumbled frantically around a scabby handbag. A slightly smooched cigarette emerged that had probably been festering in there since 2014. She lit it with the bubble-gum scented candle on the dresser, as lighters were lost to time and many pub smoking areas. In a buzzed nicotine haze, she decided to wear a glittery silver dress and matching heels. It wasn't love at first sight but she didn’t want to rip it off and cry, a significant improvement from the last five outfits the mirror had seen. She grabbed a clean pair of knickers in case her failsafe failed, lipstick, a year-old toothbrush, an umbrella, and keys and clomped out the door. The restaurant was five minutes away but Sarah had never heard of it. It was empty, aligned with plastic tables and chairs, each tablecloth decorated with different farmyard animals. He was sat at the giddy goats, wearing an elegant lilac suit and a cheeky smile. The choice of location should have been odd but she was happy with anything, as long as the food was free, for her.

"Daniel? Sorry I'm late, I broke up with my wardrobe"

“That's the name, please wear it out. Glad you broke it off, I heard it's wood is unsatisfying! May I say you look wonderful, can’t go wrong with sparkles”

She chortled and her cheeks flushed. She liked a quick-witted man who noticed her sparkle. He ordered them a bottle of cheap prosecco from the teenage waitress, a magenta streak in her hair covering one eye and more metal on her face than skin. She was entirely uninterested in her job and the coolest person Sarah had seen...that day. Whilst Sarah perused the menu, Daniel observed her indecision closely. The unbothered waitress slumped over.

“What do you want?”

“Sparkles first” he held out his big arms toward her

“I guess I’ll have whatever the special is”

The waitress and Daniel made prolonged eye contact. Which should have been bizarre but Sarah didn’t care.

“Sure one special coming up” The waitress's bad posture dissipated as she skipped to the kitchen.

“You won't be sorry you chose the special”

“What’s so special about the special?”

“Have you ever teleported? It's pretty special”

“I can’t say I have. Although being split in half would be a concern”

“Oh don’t worry it’s perfectly safe, just keep your elbows on the table at all times”

The waitress trotted out holding a food cloche. Fancy presentation for such a dive thought Sarah as she placed her elbows on the table and lifted the lid. A sphere of Iridescent light sat on the plate. Daniel pointed at the cutlery, cautiously she dipped her fork into the rainbow. It tasted like gummy bears. Suddenly it felt like flying and all she could see were stars. When the sensation stopped Sarah noticed that Daniel's suit was now aquamarine, the waitress's streak was emerald, her dress was mustard and this was not the same restaurant she had just walked into. The tablecloths were red and white striped, candles adorned each surface, a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket, plates of fresh tomatoes, goat cheese, arancini, and cannoli sat on the table tempting her.

“Why is my dress yellow, it’s not my colour?”

“You ordered the special, it's a fun side effect. I think the yellow really pops”

“Wow, what would have happened if I had ordered the eggs benedict?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know”

He winked and her heart palpitated. She checked her phone’s weather app, location Sicily, 24 degrees Celsius, sunny. This was the most interesting first date she'd been on. The now chipper waitress poured some champagne into tall gold-trimmed glasses.

“Thank you so much for getting the special girl, it’s been ages since we travelled, you won't need that umbrella here!”

She grinned from ear to ear and skipped off again. Sarah took an enormous gulp of bubbles and pinched herself hard. Now she had an obnoxious red mark on her arm but at least she could rule out dreaming. She gave in and tucked into the food, embarrassingly salivating. It was scrumptious. Then again her standards were low after consistently consuming instant noodles and box mac and cheese.

“Don’t eat the cannoli yet, that’s our ticket home. Fancy a smoke before dessert? Check your bag and follow me outside”

She looked in her bag to find a packet of Marlboro, a Hello Kitty lighter, and her emergency knickers that were more transparent than she remembered. He knew her too well, considering she didn't know him at all. They smoked surrounded by mountains, giddy goats bleated from the rocks they perched on. As the smoke and sea breeze wrapped around them, he kissed her. The kiss was more impressive than teleportation. She saw an entire galaxy as his gentle lips met hers. She pulled away dripping in sweat, probably the humidity she thought.

“Same time next week? I’ll be at the happy horse table, order the special again, I dare you!”

“Will the cannoli still be good to eat tomorrow? After all I do have spare knickers and a toothbrush"

“A woman prepared I see. Why don't you save the knickers for the chipper chickens”

"I guess we will just have to go on lots more dates then?"

"Definitely I want to explore you, I mean explore with you of course" he blushed

She nodded with glee and wondered where the happy horses, crass cows, pretty piggies, chipper chickens and silly sheep would take them. She would need to wash some more knickers.