The Miss Gloria Hour: With Guest Supermodel Davania

The Board Meeting

Heading a staff meeting, Trixie greeted the team gathered in the boardroom.

“Good morning, team! Jason, always a pleasure. Gloria, radiant as ever. Rafael, thanks for not ghosting us. And Karla, welcome back to the circus.”

“Thank you, Trixie. I’m excited to discuss our successful first week of The Miss Gloria Hour,” Jason said.

“Yes! Gloria is on Spotify and YouTube. In the first twenty-four hours, she received seven hundred fifty thousand streams on Spotify and three hundred fifty thousand views on YouTube. First-week totals are two and a half million streams and six hundred fifty thousand views.”

Trixie clapped at the announcement, and the team joined in.

“Next,” she continued, “we have data on the most popular moments. Each seat in the live audience has two sensor buttons, a blue one for moments they found funny, inspiring, or excellent, and a red one for anything they disliked.

“The blue button was pushed eighty-one percent of the time, and the red nineteen. That’s overwhelmingly favorable.

“The top three moments were: number three, the look Gloria gave when the leather shoe was thrown on stage. Number two, when she called Hammertoe a ‘hot biscuit.’ And number one, the duet between Gloria and Hammertoe.

“The least favorite moment was when Gloria said the name Hammertoe was dumb.”

Karla spoke up. “From a marketing perspective, these metrics are outstanding. We can make this a top-notch podcast. Our only negative is the insults. Gloria, maybe you can tone those down a bit, aim your insults at objects or yourself.”

“Miss Trent,” Gloria replied, “you haven’t a clue how humor works. My lines build off each other. If I start censoring myself, my rhythm’s gone. I need the freedom to speak my thoughts.”

“I hear you, Gloria,” Karla said, “but please ease up on the insults. And it’s Mrs., not Miss.”

“Hold it down, both of you,” Jason interrupted. “Karla, I get your concerns, advertisers, engagement, algorithms, all that. But if we mess with Gloria’s timing, everything falls apart.”

“I disagree with you, Jason. But you are the boss.”

“Thank you for your input, Karla. An eighty-one percent approval is unheard of. The only change for tomorrow’s show: instead of friends and family, we’ll use a carefully selected paid audience to gather data.”

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It’s Showtime

“I can’t believe it! Here I am, episode number two. It almost didn’t happen. We had a staff meeting yesterday, and I was told to muzzle myself.

“So, I bought this muzzle. I tried it on last night and felt like I needed a leather whip to complete the fetish.

“Anyhow, my boss, Poopsie, went to bat for me, and now I can throw as many insults as I want. But there’s a catch, I must be polite about it. So I guess it’ll be, ‘Excuse me, sir, but your face is ugly. Nice speaking with you.’”

Gloria grinned a cheeky smile and motioned a high five in the air as the audience roared with laughter.

“Anyway, I have a very special guest today. She’s the world-famous supermodel, Davania!”

Davania walked onto the stage with elegantly perfect posture, making a full turn to show off her outfit and graceful manner.

“Come on over here,” Gloria called. “Have a seat.”

Davania sat down beside her. “Greetings, Gloria.”

“Well, you sure have some pep in your voice. It’s nice having you here, Davania.”

“Why, thank you. It’s nice to be here.”

“You must be awfully cold in the studio, you’re wearing next to nothing.”

“I am a bit chilly. I have goosebumps on my arms.”

“Can you turn on the heater, Rafael?” Gloria shouted toward backstage.

“That’s not my job, Gloria.”

“Our guest is cold, she’s shivering.”

“Okay, okay!”

“Davania, your outfit is really cute. Where did you buy it, the Dollar Tree?”

“Oh, you’re so funny, Gloria. Actually, Oliver Olivier designed this for me to wear specifically for tonight’s appearance. He calls it ‘Gloria.’”

“Oh ho ho, I can just imagine myself wearing that outfit!”

“Davania, you are so elegant, and your name fits you perfectly.”

“Thank you. My birth name is Daanya Cabugatan. I was born in Saudi Arabia but came to the United States when I was three. My mother is a bioscientist. She was hired by a government agency, and that’s how we ended up here.”

“That’s very interesting, Davania.”

“I started modeling at fourteen, and my manager came up with the name Davania when I was nineteen.”

“There are rumors swirling around that you’re actually a man.”

Davania burst out laughing. Gloria grinned playfully, expecting another laugh. But Davania simply chuckled as her expression mellowed, “It seems some people have a problem with tall women. Look at Michelle Obama, she’s five foot eleven, and there are all sorts of baseless rumors that she’s a man. Some of the same people claim that Taylor Swift, also five eleven, is secretly gay. They call it the Gaylor conspiracy theory.”

“I didn’t know that about Taylor Swift,” Gloria stated.

“Yes, well, I can assure you I’m all woman. In fact, I’m going against my agent’s wishes and announcing right here that I’m two months pregnant.”

“Congratulations, Davania!” Gloria said as the audience joined in applause.

“Thank you. And one more thing about those rumors, I have no problem with a man who cross-dresses as a woman, or a trans woman. I respect all people. I wasn’t put here to judge anyone. I’m here to love, and that’s my mission.”

The audience went still for a moment. Even Gloria, known for her quick comebacks, sat silent, her usual grin was replaced with a sentimental gaze.

“Davania, you’ve won me over. That’s exactly what we need more of in this world - more love. As John Lennon said, ‘All we need is love.’”

The audience rose to their feet, giving Gloria a standing ovation.

“Well, that’s a wrap, my friends. It was great having you here tonight, Davania.”

Davania nodded in agreement as the applause continued.

“Tonight proved one thing: age is just a number, and mine’s unlisted. Goodnight, darlings!”

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With Love and Laughs, RHC ❤️