Sarcasm

Dear Ghosts In My House. Top Story - November 2023.
Dear Ghosts in my house, You are really annoying! I have lived in peace with you for over twenty years, and I continue to live in peace with you.
By Carol Ann Townend2 years ago in Humor
Freeze! Drop the Water Pistol and Put Your Hands in the Air!
The Metropolitan police have admitted that a 13-year-old boy was rammed off his bike and handcuffed by armed police, who pointed their submachine guns at him. The boy was having a water fight with his sibling on 19 July when a police officer on patrol reported a potential firearms incident. (BBC, 20/10/23)
By Brendan Donaghy2 years ago in Humor
“Asteroid City”: Wes Anderson at his Wessiest
There’s been a brand of cinematic work that’s taken off in recent years, and the style is proving divisive for many viewers. They’re the films that don’t intend to tell cohesive narratives. They’re the films that seem as though they’re more intent on confusing audiences— or at least causing them to think a little too deeply for their comfort — than they are on entertaining them.
By Ben Ulansey2 years ago in Humor
Castle Chronicles VI
For links to previous editions please scroll to the bottom. ****************************************************************
By Andrew C McDonald2 years ago in Humor
Castle Chronicles V
MILITARY: WAR DECLARED!! As our illustrious realm has been repeatedly attacked by the heathen realm calling themselves "Immortals," our magnificent regent has seen fit to declare a state of war. War Chief Alistar was quoted as saying, "As unsinkable ships sink, so too do Immortals die!" Cpt. Strongarm of the royal guard has sent forth a call for volunteers to join in a concerted attack on these our dastardly foes. Lord Dakkarious, royal gardener and artificer of atomic dung bombs, has sent forth a call for extra sheep bladders and wool necessary for the fabrication of bomb casings. Meanwhile, Lord Tolke's kraken, Spike, is said to be creating copious amounts of the main ingredient necessary for the synthesization of dung/fertilizer bombs.
By Andrew C McDonald2 years ago in Humor
How South Park Used ChatGPT to Help Write an Episode. Content Warning.
South Park is a show like no other. Where so many shows and cartoons seem almost to exist outside of time, South Park stays rooted in the moment. That’s not to say, of course, that the children have actually aged. Apart from graduating from third to fourth grade, they’ve remained 10-year-olds as they’ve confronted everything from climate change to religion, to politics, to a giant mechanized Barbara Streisand.
By Ben Ulansey2 years ago in Humor
South Park: The Most Important Satire Ever Made
Sometimes South Park can get a bad rap. With some of the jokes told in its 26 year run, it's not difficult to see why. South Park is both ruthless and persevering. With 326 episodes in its catalogue, there are few issues the long-running satire has failed to explore - and comprehensively.
By Ben Ulansey2 years ago in Humor
The Microbiomics Revolution Has Arrived
The age of microbiomics is upon us and with it opportunities for promising new areas of research have arisen that build and expand upon the excitement of the original but add a previously thought unrelated dimension. By combining the study of the microbiome with some random other non-microbiology related thing that people study not only will you gain notoriety as a trailblazing pioneer in the field, but more importantly you will instantly at least double the number of funding agencies to which you can apply for grant money. Confused? Me too a little bit, but to help clarify some I have proposed a few new fields and brief descriptions of possible research focus areas for each. Note that I own any and all intellectual property associated with the name of each field and any valuable discoveries made within them.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
Nice Guys Finish Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh in Local Marathon
Each year since the inception of the local marathon nice guys, the brothers Tod and Ted Stephens, along with friend Jim Thorne, had finished last. Most had speculated that this year would be no different. Today, the Stephens brothers and Mr. Thorne proved the haters and doubters wrong, finishing fifth, sixth, and seventh respectively. A visibly tired, heavily sweat pit stained, but still smiling Ted Stephens said the following about the nice guy trios historic result. "I am just so gosh darned pleased with my performance, and especially that of my brother Tod and old college roomie Jim. With this finish under my belt maybe Cherry (Tims) will finally go on an actual date with me and agree to that candlelight dinner at Chez Rouzeau I have been asking her about for years. Assuming she says yes, I might be given the opportunity to patiently lay the groundwork for a long term relationship by listening intently and responding with genuine warmth and caring as she talks about the horrible day she had at the shoe factory where she works. This would be in contrast to our other 'dates' which have mostly been us meeting at the local Denny's and splitting a Moons over My Hammy for breakfast, as I listen intently and respond with genuine warmth and caring as she talks about the terrible day she had at the shoe factory. Those are really a waste of mine and her time. Although, she really does need a good shoulder to cry on, and, I am a really good listener. I guess it's not so bad. Eventually she will have to tire of empty passionate sex with various members of the high school football team. I can give her so much more than that. Except for the sex part, I can only handle so much of that until I get really tired and sleepy."
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
The Misadventures of professor peculiar
Once upon a time in a quirky little town named Wackyville, there lived a man named Professor Peculiar. Professor Peculiar was not your average scientist. He had wild hair that seemed to have a life of its own, and he had a fascination with inventing absurd contraptions that served no real purpose.
By Trn Kevin2 years ago in Humor
A serbian lady horror night. Content Warning.
In a small Serbian town named Svet's Daughter, my co-worker Anna and I found ourselves on a dark, moonless night. We had just finished a long day and decided to take a shortcut through the eerie alleyway behind the cathedral. To pass the time, we hummed a tune, the soft shuffling of leaves under our feet the only sound accompanying us. The streets were deserted, except for a few stray cats lurking in the shadows. I bent down to share my lunch with them.
By haishaikh2 years ago in Humor
Doomsday Peppers Prepare for the Apocalypse
Doomsday peppers the world over are busy preparing for the Ripeture, the event which is said to foretell the coming apocalypse. According to the peppers when the Ripeture happens all good peppers will suddenly disappear leaving only their neatly folded husks behind. The non-peppers unfortunate enough to be left behind will be forced to spend their remaining days fighting to survive in a hellish nightmarescape of death and destruction. Stuck hanging on their shrubs as they slowly rot from radiation exposure or die from dehyrdation due to lack of available clean drinking water. A leader of the local pepper movement in Sinaloa, Mexico, Pablo Ano said the following in a prepared statement. "All good peppers must prepare now for the Ripeture. It will come suddenly and without warning. Those sinful peppers who do not believe in our great leader Dr. Pepper, blessed by the holy ghost, will be left behind to rot. Those non believers will never gain entry to the heavenly garden of eden where peppers of all varieties live forever in paradise." According to pepper lore the garden of eden has soil so rich all peppers can live for eternity without any need for fertilizer, inseticides, or replanting. In fact, it is believed that no insects are allowed in the garden lest they disturb the holy peppers planted there.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor