Small Funny jokes " Part 7 "

121. At the Police Station
The police received a call that a man had climbed to the top of a tall bank building and was about to jump.
The SHO rushed there and said:
“Don’t do it! Think of your soul—it will suffer forever.”
Man: “I’m an atheist.”
SHO: “Then think of your wife and innocent children.”
Man: “I’m unmarried.”
SHO: “Think of your parents.”
Man: “They’re dead.”
SHO: “Still, life is precious. Travel, enjoy, have fun!”
Man: “There’s nowhere to go.”
SHO: “Then at least watch Indian movies on VCR and satellite dish.”
Man: “I’m against VCR, satellite dish, and Indian films.”
SHO (furious): “What! If you’re really against all three, then what are you waiting for? Jump already, you fool!”


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122. The Lantern and the Cage
A professor went to a friend’s house for dinner and carried a lantern with him in case the power went out.
After dinner, he returned home.
The next morning, the friend’s servant arrived with a note:
“I’m sending back your lantern. Please send me back my parrot’s cage.”


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123. The Judge’s Permission
A judge told the defense lawyer: “You may take the accused aside to give him better advice.”
A little while later, the lawyer returned alone.
The judge asked: “Where is the accused?”
The lawyer replied: “He ran away. Honestly, I couldn’t give him better advice than that!”


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124. The Nurse and the Soldier
A new nurse in an army hospital went to watch shooting practice.
When many rifles fired at once, she panicked and instinctively grabbed the arm of a soldier standing nearby.
Then, embarrassed, she said: “I hope you don’t mind.”
The soldier smiled and replied: “Not at all! Come along, I’ll show you the cannon fire too.”


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125. The Maid and the Missing Clothes
Maid: “You’ve accused me unfairly of stealing. I can’t even find the words to convince you otherwise.”
Lady of the house: “And I can’t find two pairs of trousers, a tablecloth, and two shirts!”


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126. The Mother-in-Law’s Visit
The master told his servant: “My mother-in-law is coming today to stay for two weeks. Here’s a list of all the dishes she likes.”
Servant: “Understood, sir! I’ll follow this list from today.”
Master: “What do you mean?”
Servant: “I’ll cook according to this list.”
Master: “You fool! If you cook even one dish from this list, you’re fired!”


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127. The Father and the Lost Way
A man was walking in the city park with his son but soon got lost. They searched for a long time without success and finally sat down, exhausted.
Suddenly the father started hitting his son and shouted:
“You donkey! I’m lost, so you go home. Your mother must be waiting for you!”


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128. The Girl’s Prayer
A young girl prayed after finishing her prayer.
Her mother asked: “What did you ask for?”
The girl replied: “Nothing for myself. I prayed for you—that you get a rich and handsome son-in-law.”


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129. The Boy and the Uncle
Boy: “Uncle, do you know what happens when we breathe?”
Uncle: “Yes, son. Breathing keeps us alive.”
Boy: “No, uncle! It just makes our stomach move up and down.”


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130. The Brother’s Discovery
Munni: “Mom, do you know that sister can see even in the dark?”
Mother: “Really? How do you know that?”
Munni: “Last night I was thirsty and passed by her room. Even though it was dark, I heard her saying: ‘Darling, what’s the matter? Why didn’t you shave today?’”


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131. The Tallest Mountain
Guide: “This is the tallest and most famous mountain in the area.”
Tourist: “Surely there must be a legend about it?”
Guide: “Yes. Once a tourist couple climbed it—and they never returned.”
Tourist (wide-eyed): “Oh my! Did no one find out what happened to them?”
Guide: “Yes, we did. They climbed down the other side and kept on walking.”


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132. The Young Man and the Ring
A young man held a beautiful girl’s delicate hand, looked at the ring on her finger, and asked:
“My gift, this ring—did your friends like it too?”
The girl replied:
“Two of my friends recognized it immediately and said, ‘We’ve already thrown this very ring back in his face twice!’”


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133. Divorce Case
In a divorce case, a beautiful woman told the judge:
“After marriage, for one year we lived happily, but then, after the baby came, our married life turned bitter and worse.”
The judge asked:
“Was the baby a boy or a girl?”
The woman replied:
“A girl—an eighteen-year-old girl who moved into the house next door a few weeks ago.”


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134. In the Bazaar
A man said to a strange woman in the market:
“Excuse me, may I talk with you for a little while?”
The woman hesitated:
“But I don’t understand—what benefit will you get from this?”
The man answered:
“In the crowd, I’ve lost my wife. If she sees me talking to you, she’ll come rushing here at once.”


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135. The Blacksmith and His Apprentice
In the village, Bakhtu the blacksmith was teaching his new apprentice how to make a horseshoe.
He said: “Look, this iron is red hot. I’ll put it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you strike with the hammer.”
Bakhtu nodded his head—
The apprentice brought the hammer down… right on Bakhtu’s head instead of the iron!


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136. The Beggar
A man scolded a beggar:
“Don’t you feel ashamed begging from door to door?”
The beggar replied:
“What can I do? When I stay at home, nobody gives me anything!”


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137. The Buyer and the Shopkeeper
Buyer: “What’s the price of ghee?”
Shopkeeper: “Two hundred rupees.”
Buyer: “Give me one rupee’s worth.”
Shopkeeper: “Here—just take a sniff.”


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138. The Cat Story
A man said to his friend:
“You said you were going to abandon the cat in some faraway forest. But here it is at your house again!”
The friend replied:
“Yes, I left it there. But I got lost on the way back… so I had to follow the cat home!”


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139. The Burglar in America
In America, a thief broke into a jeweler’s house.
He saw a note written near the safe:
“Don’t bother breaking the safe. Just turn the handle to the right—it will open.”
The thief followed the instructions. The moment he turned the handle, the room lit up brightly and an alarm inside the safe started blaring.
He was arrested and sent to jail.
From jail he wrote a letter to his family, saying:
“I’ve completely lost my faith in humanity and honesty.”


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140. Rashid and Jamshed
Rashid: “Hey Jamshed, why are you sleeping outside the mosquito net?”
Jamshed: “To fool the mosquitoes. They’ll think I’m inside the net!”