Small Funny jokes " Part 5 "

81. Ferocious Lion

A man lost his way in the jungle and suddenly saw a terrifying lion. He dropped to the ground in fear and began praying. After a while, he raised his head—and saw the lion also bowing.
Man (relieved): “Brother, I thought you’d eat me, but seeing you pray too makes me so happy.”
Lion: “Don’t interrupt me! I was hungry, then God sent you to me. I’m just offering a prayer of thanks before eating.”


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82. Husband and Wife Fight

A couple argued. The wife, furious, went upstairs and came down later with a suitcase. The husband sighed in relief, smiling smugly.
Wife (jealously): “Go ahead, smile all you want today. Tomorrow that smile will vanish. I’m not going to my parents’ house. I’m sending this empty suitcase so my mom can bring her stuff here and move in with us.”


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83. Cleric

A man asked a cleric: “Will we get everything in paradise?”
Cleric: “Of course, everything will be there.”
Man: “Even cigarettes?”
Cleric: “Yes—but you’ll have to go to hell to light them.”


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84. Beating the Son

A man beat his son so badly the boy fainted. A friend heard about it and came to scold him.
Friend: “Why did you beat him like that?”
Man: “He was drunk.”
Friend: “Still, you should’ve punished him lightly. Why beat him so blindly?”
Man: “Well… I was drunk too.”


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85. Teacher and Student

Teacher: “Shame on you—smiling even after a beating?”
Student (innocently): “But sir, you yourself said we should always smile in tough times.”


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86. Stingy Boss

Stingy boss: “Tell me, what’s something you can’t get no matter how hard you work?”
Employee (innocently): “Sir—my salary.”

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87. The Crying Child

A child was crying. The father asked why. The child said:
“Give me one dollar first, then I’ll tell you.”
The father quickly gave him a dollar and asked, “Now tell me, why were you crying?”
The child replied: “I was crying just to get this dollar!”


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88. The Circus Owner

The circus owner scolded his servant:
“There’s a limit to carelessness! You left the lion free!”
The servant replied:
“So what? Who would ever dare to steal a lion?”


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89. The Exam Memory

Mike: “Nasir, how was your exam?”
Elon: “My memory betrayed me.”
Mike: “You mean you forgot the answers at the last moment?”
Elon: “No, man! I forgot to bring the photocopy of the notes I had prepared.”


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90. The Stingy Girl

Rose, who was famous for her stinginess, had only two friends.
One day she bought a candy, broke it into three pieces, kept the biggest piece for herself, and gave the smaller pieces to her two friends.
When they thanked her, she proudly said:
“Stay with me, and you’ll always live like this in luxury!”


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91. Teacher and Student – Eggs and Sticks

Teacher: “What’s the difference between eggs and sticks?”
Student: “Sir, both are things to eat.”


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92. Teacher and Student – The Map

Teacher: “Show me where the water is on this map.”
Student: “Sir, if there were water on this map, the paper would be wet!”


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93. The King and the Tomb

King (to the worker): “Have you completed my tomb?”
Worker: “Yes, Your Majesty.”
King: “Is there anything missing?”
Worker (respectfully): “Only you, Your Majesty.”


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94. Judge and the Thief

Judge: “Why did you steal a wallet and then beat the man up?”
Theif: “Because, Your Honor, the wallet was empty!”


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95. Sneezing Cure

Mike: “Jhon, you had a cold. What did you do about it?”
Jhon: “Well… every now and then I just sneezed once or twice.”


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96. Doctor and Patient – The Watch

Doctor: “Your pulse is ticking as regularly as a clock.”
Patient: “That’s because your fingers are on my wristwatch, not my pulse.”


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97. The Rich Man Dying

A rich man was dying. A poor man told him:
“Sir, at least give something in God’s path before you die.”
The rich man, half-conscious, replied:
“I’m giving my life—what more should I give?”


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98. The Job Interview

A man went to look for a job. The interviewer asked:
“Do you know how to cook?” – “Yes.”
“Do you know how to drive a car?” – “Yes.”
“Do you know how to lie?”
The man replied: “What do you think I’ve been doing till now?”


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99. The Teacher’s Question

Teacher: “Can you do something no one else can?”
Student (confidently): “Yes, sir! I can actually read my own handwriting.”


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100. Two Friends After Song

Two friends were walking home late at night after listening to song. One said: “That man sitting next to me was so rude! He came to listen to Song but spent the whole time snoring.”
The other replied: “Yes, you’re right. He was so loud that his snoring even woke me up several times!”