Small Funny jokes " Part 4 "

61. Beggar

A beggar knocked on a door: “I’m hungry! For God’s sake, give me some bread. I’ll pray for your children.”
A voice from inside: “Sorry, Baba, the lady of the house isn’t home.”
Beggar: “I’m asking for bread, not your lady!”

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62. Chewing Gum

Two men were sitting opposite each other in a train compartment. After some time, one said:
“Excuse me, I’m hard of hearing, but today it feels like I’ve gone completely deaf. You’ve been talking for a long time, and I haven’t heard a word.”
The other replied: “Sir, I haven’t been talking. I’ve just been chewing gum.”


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63. Newlywed Bride

A newlywed bride didn’t do any housework even after a month of marriage. The husband was an only child, so he and his mother made a plan. One morning, both grabbed a broom and pretended to fight.
Mother: “I’ll sweep today!”
Son: “No, I’ll do it!”
They thought the bride would step in to sweep herself. Instead, she came out of her room and calmly said:
“What’s the big deal? Mom, you can sweep one day, and he can sweep the next.”


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64. Company Owner

A company owner hung signs in every office that read: “Do whatever you need to do today—don’t leave it for tomorrow.”
A month later, a friend asked, “What effect did it have on your staff?”
The owner replied: “Well, the cashier ran off with thirty thousand. Three clerks immediately demanded salary raises. And the office boy went so far as to reveal company secrets to a gang of robbers!”


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65. Four Fools

Four fools were walking when they heard a gunshot.
First fool asked the second: “Did the bullet hit you?”
“No.”
He asked the third: “Did it hit you?”
“No.”
He asked the fourth: “Did it hit you?”
“No.”
Then the fourth fool suddenly fell to the ground and said: “Then it must have hit me!”


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66. Brain

A professor of medicine was showing different brains to his students. He lifted one up and said:
“This is the brain of a black donkey from Egypt. Very rare. That breed is extinct.”
Then he proudly added: “There are only two such brains in the entire world—one in the museum in Cairo, and the other with me.”

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67. Tenant

Tenant (to landlord): “Sir, the entire roof is leaking! The rooms, the hallway, the courtyard—everywhere water is standing. Even my chickens are drowning.”
Landlord: “Then why don’t you raise ducks instead?”


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68. Teacher

Teacher gave the students a question: “Draw a heart and describe its functions.”
One boy turned in his notebook with this answer:
“A heart is a delicate thing. It’s also used for giving and taking. Once it breaks, it never joins back. When you remember someone, it becomes restless. And sometimes, it even cries tears of blood.”


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69. No Teeth

Child (crying, to grandmother): “Mike hit me!”
Grandmother (angrily): “Where is he? I’ll chew him raw!”
Child (innocently): “But Grandma… you don’t have any teeth.”


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70. Mother and Son

Mother: “If you pass with good marks, I’ll give you a pen as a reward.”
Son: “And if I fail with good marks?”
Mother (angrily): “Then you’ll get a beating with a shoe!”
Son: “That’s fine, Mom. My shoes are already worn out anyway.”


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71. No Nose

Father told his son: “Look, Jhon, when the guest arrives, don’t say anything about his nose.”
When the guest came, Jhon hispered in shock to his father:
“You told me not to mention his nose. But he doesn’t have a nose at all! What on earth am I supposed to talk about then?”


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72. Football on the Moon

Two football players were bragging.
First: “One day I kicked the ball so high it came back two hours later.”
Second: “That’s nothing! I once kicked it so high it came back two days later—with a note saying, Don’t send this football to the moon again!”


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73. Bank Number Three

Two Italian boys were planning a bank robbery.
First boy: “We’ll rob Bank No. 1, then Bank No. 2, and then Bank No. 4.”
Second boy: “But you forgot Bank No. 3!”
First boy: “Idiot! I didn’t forget. The money we steal—we’ll deposit it in Bank No. 3.”


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74. Headmaster

Mrs. Kiani shook her son awake: “It’s school time, get up!”
Son: “I’m not going! I hate school. The kids don’t like me. The teachers look at me with disgust. The whole staff hates me!”
Mother: “But you must go. You’re forty years old… and you’re the headmaster!”
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75. Donkey

A soldier, fed up with his strict officer, asked him:
“What if I called you a donkey?”
Officer (angrily): “I’d have you court-martialed!”
Soldier: “And what if I only thought you were a donkey?”
Officer: “Well… I can’t do anything about your thoughts.”
Soldier: “Great—then right now I’m thinking you’re a donkey!”


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76. Insurance

Boy: “Mom, why can’t I go swimming in the river?”
Mom: “Because the water’s too deep.”
Boy: “But Dad is swimming there.”
Mom: “That’s different—your father has life insurance.”


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77. Carrots

A man with weak eyesight went to the doctor. After examining him, the doctor said: “Don’t get glasses yet. Start eating carrots.”
The man said: “But my rabbits eat carrots all the time. That’s a strange treatment.”
Doctor: “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”


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78. Professor’s Thought

“My professor once said, we often expect too much from others. When those expectations aren’t met, we get upset for no reason.
Just like some people promise they’d pull down stars for you.
He pointed to a girl and asked: ‘If, God forbid, your office caught fire, would your boyfriend rush inside to save you?’
The girl replied confidently: ‘Of course! My boyfriend is a fireman.’”


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79. Man and Stranger

A man asked a stranger: “What do you do for a living, brother?”
Stranger calmly replied: “Whatever my wife tells me to.”


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80. Hospital Incharge

While hiring a new nurse, the hospital manager said: “Salary is one thousand rupees.”
Nurse: “But I want two thousand.”
Manager: “Have you worked before? Do you have experience?”
Nurse: “No.”
Manager: “Then how can you demand more?”
Nurse: “Because new jobs are always harder in the beginning!”