Small Funny jokes " Part 3 "

41.Five Thousand Rupees
Son: “Dad, you promised if I passed my exams, you’d give me five thousand rupees.”
Father: “Yes, I did.”
Son: “Well… congratulations—you just saved yourself five thousand rupees.”
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42. Rickshaw Driver
Passerby: “How much to take me to the train station?”
Rickshaw driver: “A hundred dollars.”
Passerby: “Make it fifty.”
Rickshaw driver: “Nobody goes for fifty.”
Passerby: “Fine, you sit in the back, and I’ll drive you there!”


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43. Halwa (Sweet Dessert)
Four guys entered a sweet-eating contest. Three of them fainted from overeating, but the fourth one started crying loudly.
People asked: “Why are you crying?”
He said: “Because if I faint too… who’s gonna finish the rest of the dessert?”

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44. Central Jail
In court, a theft suspect said: “Your honor, I’m all alone in this world. No home, no food, no job, no friends.”
The judge said: “That’s very sad. I’ll send you to a place where you’ll have shelter, meals twice a day, plenty of new friends—and all at government expense.”
The accused asked happily: “Where?”
Judge: “To prison.”


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45. Airport
A man noticed a woman in the market wearing a very tight outfit covered with airplane prints. He stayed quiet at first, but finally the woman snapped: “What? Haven’t you ever seen airplanes before?”
Man replied: “Airplanes, yes… but never an airport!”


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46. Wooden Hand
A man on trial for theft protested: “This isn’t fair! My right hand committed the theft, but you want to jail my whole body?”
The judge said: “Fine. Just leave your right hand in jail, then.”
The man instantly unscrewed his wooden hand, placed it on the judge’s desk, and walked out.


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47. Exhibition
The former president of France once visited an abstract art exhibit in Paris. Someone asked him: “What do you think of abstract art?”
He replied: “Well, in my long life, I’ve learned one thing—you don’t need to understand everything.”


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48. Wig
A young man bribed his girlfriend’s little brother: “Bring me just one lock of your sister’s hair and I’ll give you five dollars boy replied: “Give me one, and I’ll bring you her whole wig!”


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49. Fake
Grandma said to her grandson: “Whenever you cough, always cover your mouth with your hand.”
The boy replied: “Don’t worry, Grandma—my teeth aren’t fake like yours.”


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50. Chicken’s Chick
Master: “I told you to feed the baby chicken with rice, but you gave it to the cat!”
Servant: “Sir, the baby chicken is inside the cat now.”


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51. Rain
Teacher: “Why are you so late to school?”
Student: “Sir, the rain made the road so muddy that whenever I stepped forward, I slipped two steps back.”
Teacher: “Then how did you ever make it here?”
Student: “Simple, sir. I turned around and faced toward home.”


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52. Begging
Friend 1: “No one in my family has ever worked for anyone.”
Friend 2: “Then what did they do?”
Friend 1: “They begged.”


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53. Stork
Teacher: “Why does a stork always stand on one leg?”
Student: “Because if it lifts the other one too, it’ll fall down!”


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54. Old Age
King to his jester: “You are sentenced to death, but I’ll let you choose how you want to die.”
The jester thought for a moment and said: “Your Majesty, I choose to die of old age.”


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55. Fresh Mind
A boy was studying while sitting in a tub of water.
Father: “Why are you memorizing lessons while sitting in water?”
Boy: “Dad, you told me to study with a fresh mind!”


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56. First Period
Professor: “Why do you come ten minutes late to the first class every single day?”
Student: “Sir, I really try to come on time… but the girls’ college doesn’t open until ten minutes later.”


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57. Trash
An American woman slipped out of a window while cleaning and landed in a dumpster. She got stuck there.
A foreign tourist walked by and said to his friend:
“Wow, these Americans are so wasteful—they even throw away good stuff like this!”


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58. New Office Boy
Clerk: “Is the boss inside?”
New office boy: “First tell me—are you a salesman, an insurance agent, or a friend of the boss?”
Clerk (angrily): “I’m all of those! Now where is he?”
Office boy (calmly): “If you’re a salesman, he’s in a meeting. If you’re an insurance agent, he’s out of town. But if you’re a friend—welcome! Please go right in, he’s inside.”


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59. Little Mouse
One night a man screamed when a mouse ran over him. People told him: “Relax, it’s just a mouse.”
The man shouted: “Yeah, today it’s a mouse. Tomorrow it’ll be a cat. Then a dog. Then a donkey. Then a horse. Next thing you know—buses and trucks will start driving over me! I refuse to become a bridge!”


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60. Dentist
Patient: “Doctor, you’ve been pulling my teeth for days, and every time you pull the wrong one!”
Dentist: “Don’t worry—today I’ll definitely get the right one.”
Patient: “How can you be so sure?”
Dentist: “Because now you’ve only got one left.”